Every Song Tells A Story (Montgomery De La Cruz Oneshots)

Listen Before I Go - Billie Eilish (Part 2 of The Last Time)

A/N: Trigger warning for mentions of suicide and the act of. I was asked to do a part two of "The Last Time", so here it is! Hope you enjoy!

Take me to the rooftop

I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue

Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious

Leave me like you do. If you need me, wanna see me

Better hurry 'cause I'm leaving soon

I stood on top of the apartment building, looking down at all of the cars and lights. The warm tears falling down my cheeks helped to keep me from getting too cold as the breeze swirled around me. I thought I could live without Monty. I thought I could move on from him. I was wrong though, so wrong. I tell myself all the time, "Get over it, Kimmy. He was just your high school love. You're gonna laugh about ever feeling this way whenever you're older." But it doesn't change a thing. My heart still aches, my mind still races, my stomach stills turns in knots, and I still feel completely lifeless and unloveable. All I want to feel is peace but every day the feeling of peace seems farther and farther away. I feel like the only way to get peace is to get out. To get out of this life. To get out of this world. Who would miss me anyways? My parents aren't around much. My older sister hates me. My friends are tired of dealing with me at this point. I scared Scott and all other potential suitors away. And most importantly, Montgomery doesn't want me. He'd probably throw a party if he found out that I was dead because then he wouldn't have to see my sad eyes around school anymore. He could live peacefully without the constant reminder of the psycho ex girlfriend looming at ever turn. Maybe I should do it for him. I should give him the peace he wants and deserves. I climbed on top of the railing and leaned over it. I gasped for air but my lungs stayed constricted as I looked at the ground below me in fear. My whole body was shaking and suddenly, I flung myself backwards involuntarily; away from the railing and the certain death that faced me below if I had jumped or fallen. I let out an earth shattering sob and held myself tight. I couldn't do it right now. This isn't the time or the place. At my funeral, I don't want to be smashed to little bits from falling twenty stories onto concrete. I want to look peaceful. Once I finally collected myself, I stood up and took one final look over the railing before walking off. Maybe I couldn't do it tonight, but it's coming. Then everyone will be happy again.

Sorry can't save me now

Sorry I don't know how

Sorry there's no way out (sorry)

But down

Hmm, down

"You good, Kimberly?" Jeff asked as he sat down next to me on the couch at Bryce's. He was having a party and since I live my days both drunk and high now, a party is where I need to be. Nothing can mask my pain but once the liquor hits me and the weed or cocaine courses through my body, I feel more numb than before. I looked over at him slowly, not able to turn my head too quick or I'd get sick from how much I'd drank and smoked. He looked at me shocked once our eyes met. I've never been one to get fucked up but now.. now I do. I really do. "How about I get you some water? Huh, Kim? Does that sound good?" He asked gently while placing his hand on my shoulder tenderly. I looked at his hand on my shoulder and then back at him before chuckling. "I don't need water, Jeff. I need more Vodka. How about you get that for me?" I said while slurring my words and waving my empty vodka bottle in his face. I'd been drinking off of the large bottle for a couple of days now and I'd finally run out. Which is not a good thing in my predicament. He just stared at me in complete shock before responding. "Sweetheart.. you really need to get some water and food in you.." "Get me some more god damn liquor or I swear to God I'll go upstairs and off myself right fucking now." I growled at him, an icy glare taking over my usually gentle eyes. He jumped a little bit with wide eyes, startled at how I'd just spoke to him and the words that came out of my mouth. This isn't the Kimberly that everyone is used to. No.. they're used to the sweet little innocent Kimberly who fell in love with the asshole and temporarily changed him. Obviously that didn't work so the sweet little innocent Kimberly can't be anymore. She's dead. "I'll.." Jeff started before pausing and awkwardly clearing his throat while looking down. "I'll go try to find something for you." He finished before quickly jumping up and scurrying off. I watched as he walked into the kitchen, probably trying to find some sort of alcohol to serve to me so my life wouldn't be on his hands if I really did go upstairs and kill myself. It's coming but just like before, now is not the time or place. I don't want to be remembered as the girl who killed herself at a party at Bryce Walkers house. Who wants to be remembered as that? I sat in silence while I waited on Jeff to show back up.. silently contemplating all of the ways that I could kill myself. I could slit my wrists. I could take a bunch of pills. I could hang myself. I could shoot myself. I could.. My thoughts were cut off once Montgomery himself sat down next to me with a bottle of Whiskey in his hands. "There's no more Vodka but uh.. I've got this to share." He said while awkwardly holding the bottle of Jack Daniel's up. I stared in disbelief for a second before speaking. "He really fucking sent you over here with more alcohol for me?" I gasped out, still struggling to believe that Jeff really did that. We stared at each other wordlessly for a couple of minutes. I had a cold look on my face while his looked more concerned. "He told me what you said.." "Wow." I chuckled with a roll of my eyes, feeling betrayed. That feeling of betrayal just added to the pain that my damaged heart has to experience every day. "Kimmy, he was worried about you but didn't know what to say because even though y'all are friends, you're not super close.." "So he sent you of all people to check on me? What the fuck was he thinking?" I spat, interrupting him. "Whatever. Fuck this. I'm out." I added a second later while standing up, snatching the bottle away from him in the process. I started to stumble away but Monty caught my arm; he was now standing too. "You're not going anywhere without me." He said sternly but still gentle at the same time. I felt tingles on my arm from where he was touching me but I quickly shoved them away and snatched my arm out of his grasp. "Since when do you care about me?" I mumbled bitterly while glaring directly at him. "I always have. I never stopped caring about you, Kim. Or loving you.." "Don't do this." I interrupted him yet again in a growl. We continued to stare into each other's eyes and I could feel tears threatening to build in mine. "What's going on with you?" He asked and I could hear the sadness in his voice. "Leave me alone, Montgomery." I said through gritted teeth before turning around. "Where's my Kimmy? Huh?" He asked exasperated while coming up to me. I could feel onlookers watching us. Seeing Kimberly and Montgomery together was not a usual sight anymore. Especially not with Kimberly turning away Montgomery for once. I stood in place for a second, squeezing my eyes together tight so I wouldn't break right there.. especially not in front of him. Once I opened my eyes, Montgomery's sad and fearful face was staring into mine. Part of me wanted to fall into his arms right there but the other part of me knew that I couldn't. "You're too late, Montgomery. Your Kimmy is dead." I said loudly and firmly, causing the onlookers to widen their eyes. As soon as I said it, I spun around and stormed off for the final time, opening the bottle of whiskey and chugging out of it on my way. "No she's not! She's in there and I'll get her back out!" He called out to me before I was completely out of hearing range. I walked out to the hot tub before submerging my whole body into it, clothes and all. Monty's words rang through my head, causing me to have to drink more. "If only you knew how dead she really is." I whispered to myself, tears making their way down my face. I hastily wiped them away before taking big gulps out of the liquor bottle again. I placed it on the concrete before taking a deep breath and going under the water completely. Allowing my mind to go blank until I had no choice but to come to for air again. I could do it that way too.. I could drown myself. I thought to myself before drinking out of the bottle again. I stayed right there for the rest of the night.