𝕋𝕠𝕕𝕠𝔹𝕒𝕜𝕦𝔻𝕖𝕜𝕦

10.

The more the envelope was stared at, the more anxious Bakugou grew. This wasn't a dream, this was reality. What if Kirishima was still alive, but he was too late to get to him, because he couldn't read the letter? 

"Alright...it's alright, Bakugou. It probably isn't even that bad. It's not what you think. You don't even care that much..." Bakugou spoke to himself, closing his eyes and opening the envelope as fast as he possibly could, and pulled it out.

Once he opened his eyes again, he couldn't see any writing. The paper was folded up, into three, so it fit into the envelope. It almost felt like torture to have to unfold the letter. The fear of what was written across the page was the worst to Bakugou.

Not reading anything yet, it was definitely obvious Kirishima was under pressure while writing the letter, just skimming through it. Though quickly guiding his eyes back up to the top of the letter, he slowly took a deep breath, preparing himself. Then, he began to read, his hands shaking as he held onto the letter. 

"Dear Bakugou,

I'm sorry you have to read this. I'm sorry you have to go through having to know about this, and everything about it. You have no idea how much I'm going to hold onto this and not let go, even if I may be gone by the time you read this letter. But anyway, I don't have much time to write this letter, so I guess I should explain why I'm even writing this. Well first, I was sent out of the hospital early this morning. And I mean early. 

The surgery went fine, or at least, it was supposed to cure my Hanahaki disease. But it didn't. It stayed with me, and it didn't leave. I even kept some flowers to make the flower crown for you. And don't worry, those ones didn't come from me. But this is why I'm here, in my dorm, writing this to you right now. I want to write this to you, because you're the one who should know. I guess that's just how strong my love is for you, even if you don't feel the same! I want you to know, this isn't your fault. It's mine, for meeting someone who has much higher standards than I do. I'm such a dummy, but guess what? You have two other amazing people to love you! They're probably doing much better than I would do. I hope so, at least. 

All of this pain, all of the flowers, were worth being able to stick around you and talk to you every single moment I had. All of the studying, all of the training, and I've gotta say, even each time you've gotten angry at me for the stupidest things were worth living for. I remember when you hugged me, it felt like I was going to explode...no jokes intended! 

Anyways, I guess...my goodbye is said. I just hope your lovers are enough for you, Bakugou...even though I know you don't feel the same way I do, I love you. With all of my heart. From the bottom of the sea all the way up to the bright, shining sun. You are my sun, Bakugou. Never forget, okay?

-Kirishima"

Bakugou stared at the page, his hands slowly clenching the page tighter as each second passed. All he could hear was a ring in his ears, and tears slowly dripping down on the paper. His own tears. 

"Y-You fucking...i-idiot..." Bakugou sobbed, dropping the paper, watching it sway down onto the ground in his blurred vision. He slowly took the flower crown back, and choked a slight laugh out before putting it on his head with a forced smile. 

Turning around, he headed towards his door and opened it once again, stepping out with the tears dripping down his cheeks, not caring if anyone saw him.

"Y-YOU...F-FUCKING...IDIOT..." Bakugou neared by Kirishima's door, the door he'd always visit if he got a text from Kirishima about needing help with homework, or asking to help him train to become a 'manly hero'. There was nothing abnormal about the door, except for the fact that each time Bakugou knocked, there would be no response. There was no other red head there to smile at him, and greet him and thank him for coming to help out. 

Instead, the echo of his knock replied. The silence was all that spoke to him. He could almost hear Kirishima's voice in his head, greeting him anyways. He never thought he would miss Kirishima so much. It was almost like bullets were shot into his body. Bullets of realization. 

He understood why he treated Kirishima differently, he understood why he treated Kirishima nicer than he would with everyone else. Even when he was mad, he couldn't hurt the poor soul. 

It was because he did like him. He liked everything about Kirishima. He just couldn't bring himself to say so. He thought Midoriya was the one, along with Todoroki, but that wasn't it at all. Sure, he did like, no, love the two, but these feelings were so much different. The constant feeling of happiness, and comfort around Kirishima made sense. It was love. 

He could have saved Kirishima, but he just couldn't bring himself to realize how he truly felt. What it took was the death of his true love, to realize how he really felt. Guilt washed over Bakugou. More tears spilled, and Bakugou couldn't hold his feeling in any longer.

"GOD...DAMMIT!" Bakugou yelled at the top of his lungs, running back into his room and slamming his door with all of his strength. He couldn't take the truth. He couldn't believe that Kirishima was gone. 

He gripped onto his hair and yelled once again, pulling harshly and banging his head into the wall, letting out choked sobs as he slid down the wall and curled up on the floor, keeping his hands tangled into his hair tightly.

~~~

It's now been a few weeks since Kirishima's passing, and still, Bakugou hasn't handled it very well. Ever since Kirishima's funeral a few days afterward, Bakugou would visit his grave every weekend as the sun would go down. Sometimes he would leave little gifts for Kirishima, and sometimes he would just come by himself and talk to the grave in hopes of somehow reaching out to Kirishima...somehow.

But today, on Saturday, as the sun ran lower and lower into the horizon, Bakugou sat in front of Kirishima's grave, gently laying a different flower crown on the gravestone. It had a variety of flowers, mostly red and white ones. 

"I...hope you like it. I think it would look good on you, if you were still here for me to be able to put it on your head. I know it's not the greatest, I'm not as talented as you...are, and were. I know you'd still appreciate it, though." Bakugou stared at Kirishima's grave, eyeing his full name in the beautiful granite stone. 

"...Thank you..."