The Love Affair

Chapter Thirty Three

So, in conclusion, not only had I lost a valuable, loyal friend, I had lost my husband. I deserved it. After-all, I had cheated, lied and was still lying to my husband who had yet to find out about my secret affair. And now on top of all of that, I was in a spinning plate trying to figure out how I felt about Shane's secret. Did he just see me as Andrea? Or is it me that he sees? I had no idea. How can anyone know what a person truly feels? Now, that's an invention I would put money on. The ability to listen to people's thoughts, to know what they truly felt.

The publishers had approved the manuscript. There were just the edits that needed to be done and my editor, Daisy was already on that like a rocket. I guess...it's even difficult now to think about the ending I had chosen. But it made sense. It made sense for me in reality to follow it. Maybe that's what I needed.

By Saturday afternoon, near enough two weeks since Nick disappeared, I was surprised to see him sitting on the patio footstep after I pulled up onto the driveway. He looked like a mess. His hair was overgrown in a few places, he needed a good shave and he was wearing a wrinkled white-shirt and blue faded jeans. He was slouching his head down resting his elbows on his knees not even bothering to look up as I gently opened the driver's door and got out. I had the shopping to get out of the boot but that was unimportant. I was just happy to see that he was safe. There was no need for the police.

"Nick?" I meekly whispered, slowly trailing up to him.

He didn't shift a bit.

"Honey?" I tried again, feeling a foul taste at the back of my throat. Why I had chosen to say that must have been the reason towards my sudden distaste. "Where did you go? I've been so worried? I was going to call the police," I added hastily as I kneeled down to my knees and attempted to cup his hands.

He flinched as I touched them and immediately withdrew them back. Then he spoke, low and husky. "I'm surprised you cared." He coughed as he stood up and wiped his nose on the back of his right hand.

"Of course I do, Nick. Your work has been calling me. Your parents too. And I've lied cause I didn't want them worrying because I knew you needed time and space than to be heckled," I responded, trying to reassure him or rather myself. "Nick," I sighed, "just because I'm feeling...how I am, doesn't mean I don't still love you," I said.

Nick shook his head. "You don't love me, Rose. It's clear to me now. Those nights I've spent...sleeping in my car or at a mate's, I've realised you don't. I should have seen it. The way you've been acting has been strange lately and—and you know, it's cause I know now. You don't love me," he said, his tone sounding hurt and broken.

"No, Nick." I shook my head. "It's not like that. I—"

"---Then what is it like, Rose? Enlighten me?" he interrupted, raising his voice.

"Nick let's...just go inside," I warned, trying to usher him. "We can talk about it properly."

"No! Why should I? I don't live there no more. I haven't since," he shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

I heard crunches of feet moving across gravel. I closed my eyes desperately hoping it wasn't him.

"Everything alright?" I heard Shane holler over, before moving down his driveway and up to ours.

"No, no it isn't," Nick spat, sounding angered. "Ask Rose! Ask her!"

"Nick, please!" I begged, "Let's just take this inside."

"Hey, did you know, Shane. We've been married for gods no how long and she's decided she wants marriage counselling?" he barked, then laughing bitterly. "How's that supposed to make a man feel?"

Shane came up, trying as I could see to diffuse the situation. "Hey, Nick. Why don't we get you inside? A nice cold beer should do it," he offered.

Nick was crying now; tears were flooding down his cheeks. "Ha! My own wife! Doesn't want to be with me."

"Nick," I uttered, "Come on, don't be silly. Let's go inside and talk." My attempts were pointless. Nick wouldn't have it.

"No, why should I?" he spat.

"Nick," Shane chipped in, placing his hand gently on Nick's back as a sign of reassurance. "Let's just talk about it inside. I'm sure...Rose has her reasons." His eyes met mine. I swallowed and quickly looked away. Nick was incoherent with his words as tears ran down his cheeks and crept onto his shirt. But with some effort, Shane was able to guide Nick inside the house.

I followed behind, closing the front door as I watched Shane escort Nick into the living room and help him down onto the sofa chair. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle this. Two men. One I was having an affair with and the other, my husband who was clearly devasted.

I thought Shane was going to leave but he remained where he was, consoling Nick before offering to check our refrigerator for a cold beer. As he slid past me, I felt his hand squeeze mine quickly before disappearing out of sight. Nick had his eyes closed shut, sniffling as the tears he had stopped.

"This is embarrassing," he muttered, sniffling hard as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "Fucksake," he swore, exhaling as he leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands.

"Nick." I stepped forward, daring to place my hand on his back. This time he didn't flinch.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he grumbled to himself, shaking his head slowly.

Shane returned quietly, taking the bottle lid off the beer with ease from the handy bottle opener he had attached to his own house keys. Then he gently passed it over to Nick who took it and downed it back. I didn't say a word.

"You'll be okay," Shane said. "I—I'll think I'll leave you to it then."

I thanked him aloud before making uneasy eye contact with him as he passed me by and then headed for the front door. Inside, I wanted him to stay. Make this situation easier for me but I knew that this mess was something I had to take responsibility for.

"Nick, we—we need to talk," I began, dropping my hand from his back.

"Yeah," he scoffed, "you want a fucking marriage counsellor."

"I—"

---"I mean, really?" he interrupted, looking dead straight at me. His forehead creased and there were patches of red upon his face. "Why Rose? Do you know how hurt I've been? Fucking distraught. I've been sitting day and night trying to understand how my wife could not be happy? We're good---at least I thought we were good together and now you drop this fucking bombshell?" He took another huge swig of the beer before discarding it on the side. Any other time I would have nagged him for the mess but this wasn't the time or place for that.

"Nick, I just feel...like things have changed for me."

"Changed? How! What's changed?" he demanded.

"I-I-"

---"I just don't get it. We've built this life together me and you. I've supported you; you've supported me. You were on about starting a family and then suddenly when I start to show an interest, you just...go all funny. It's like I've been living with a stranger for the past months. And then this marriage counselling? What have you been telling them? Huh? That you don't love your husband anymore? You want to call it quits? What Rose? Tell me what!" he said angrily.

I felt my bottom lip quiver.

"Tell me! I'm your husband forgodssake, Rose! We made vows to one another!" he shouted. He was blinking tears trying again not to break down as I stood there like a fool.

"I...I—"

---"Please, Rose. Why! Tell me why!" he demanded again, standing up to his feet.

"I was having an affair," I hastily said, squeezing my eyes shut.

And there was the truth.

THANK YOU FOR READING! IF YOU ENJOYED PLEASE VOTE, SHARE AND COMMENT! SO, THE TRUTH HAS FINALLY COME OUT! WHAT WILL BE NICK'S REACTION!