Broken ✔

Chapter Twenty-Four

Song: Gringo - Shatta Wale.

Dedicated to my good friend, Perrymic 🤗❤️

*Unedited* (It's 1am and flamingos are pink)

Love.

I've always thought that love was the strongest emotion I would ever feel.

I was foolish.

Because the pain that coursed through me, at every slight movement, every breath, every thought, was unimaginable.

I've never liked crying and heaving and wailing, because I've always felt like those are theatrics. Only actors do that. But here I was, physically and emotionally drained, tired from wailing and doing those theatrics I detested so much.

I was staring at the ceiling. It was always my go-to spot when I was thinking. Just that I wasn't thinking anymore.

Just staring. Nothing was going through my mind.

It was eerie.

Creepy.

Uncharacteristic.

But I felt something had changed in me. Something had broken in me when he left.

Now, when I tried to picture him in my mind, I only saw pain.

He'd caused me pain. From the very first time he told me that he loved me.

He had used me. He used me to forgo his responsibilities as chief. Then he believed, no, believes things that if he ever really knew me, he'd never accuse me of.

He doesn't love me. He never really did, and he never will. The sooner I get that into my thick skull, the better.

I needed to understand that Michael was really a closed subject. When I'd made our marriage a faux one, we were well and truly finished. Just that I didn't know it then.

I wondered how to move on from him. He'd sunk his claws deep into my heart, wrapped it in his perfect illusion of love, and I was stupid enough to fall for everything.

It was my fault, all along. My parents were sceptical about Michael, yet I thought they were just trying to wound my pride. If I'd believed them, maybe my heart wouldn't feel like a useless swollen cavity in my chest that was weighing me down.

It'd be so much better if I just accepted my fate. Accepted that the life I had right now was the life that was destined for me.

Forever.

I don't know if I ever loved Michael either. I'd always had trouble saying it. Feeling that it sounded inauthentic. Feeling like my tongue was moving the wrong way.

But I must've loved him, if it hurt this much.

No, it was better not to think about things that would only confuse me further. I had to understand that the situation I'd found myself in was the one I was supposed to be in. I wouldn't find love here, but I'd find escape. It'd be like living in a different world, whilst my body was still down here in this cursed world.

Oblivious bliss.

It sounded like a blessing.

I heard the door open, jerking me out of my reverie. It was Kofi.

"You look... not how I expected. Was it that bad?" He asked, inching his way around my clothes which were still on the ground.

He stared at my face, completely ignoring my naked body.