The Golden Maknae

Recovery

LATER THAT NIGHT:  

"You need to see a therapist, Rose. Jungkook begged. "That panic attack is only the beginning. It could get worse."

"They will pump me full of mood stabilizers and antidepressants, I don't need drugs. Can't I just take some time?

"You know you can, we all want you to stay here, just keep an open mind. You know, we all see therapists here because we have such busy schedules and not a whole lot of time to visit our families. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed, I just, I don't know, maybe I don't want to talk about it just yet? I couldn't really explain. 

"It's late let's get ready for bed." Jungkook said. 

I started feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't want Jungkook to know. In the hospital, there were nurses in and out of the room and the lights didn't go out. 

"Can we do another slumber party, all of us watching movies in the living room?" I asked. 

Jungkook looked at me carefully. He sees it in me. He knows I'm scared, will he let it go for now? "Let me go ask the guys." he said. 

He didn't come back for a while and I was starting to wonder what was going on. Just when I was about to give up I heard footsteps. 

"Come, we have a surprise for you." 

I took his outstretched hand stood up. He led me down the hall but instead of the living room, we went to another room I hadn't seen before. It seemed to be like a game room, with arcade games and a big TV for movies. The surprise wasn't the existence of the room, however, the surprise was that they had filled it with beds! The couch was made up into a bed, they had brought out some mattresses and there were pillows all over everything. There was room for all of us and then some. 

"Rose!" Tae and Jimin both yelled and ran to me and gave me a big hug.

"We have to go on the road in 3 days, but for the next 3 days, we are yours. Until you feel safe." Rm told me. 

"You guys are leaving me in 3 days?"

"Don't worry about that right now, we will figure it out, I promise." Jungkook assured me. 

However, now all I could think about was where was I going in three days, Will I need to find an apartment? A job? We watched movies and played games and talked a lot until we were all too tired to think anymore. 

When I laid down next to Jungkook it was around 3 am. I fell asleep almost immediately because I was worn out, but I knew tomorrow I would have to get in gear. They can only carry me for so long. Better to figure out my life before they get tired of me. 

When I woke up it was daylight and I was wrapped in Jungkook's arms. It was an amazing feeling. I didn't know how I got there but I felt a little lighter in my chest. I was looking at him sleeping so peacefully and out of nowhere, I felt tears on my cheeks. 

"Ah! No crying again." he said and opened one eye.

"Again?" I asked as I wiped the tears off my face.

"You cried in your sleep. It was different though. Like a nightmare. You stopped as soon as I put my arms around you."

"Who wouldn't?" I laughed

"Are you ready for breakfast you two?" Jin hollered from the other room. That's when I noticed we were alone. 

"Be right there." Jungkook called back. 

"Hey, do you have a computer I can use somewhere?" I asked.

"Sure, I will get it for you after breakfast." he helped me up and held my hand as we went to the kitchen area. 

"I made breakfast "American Style" Jin said proudly.

There was french toast and waffles and scrambled eggs and bacon and sausage. It all looked amazing! I grabbed a plate and got some eggs, french toast and sausage. 

"OMG Jin! This is so good! You know you are spoiling me, right? I might never leave!" I said with my mouth half full. 

"Perfect! That was the goal! How do you think Bangtan made it this far?" 

Everyone was laughing and making yummy noises when Bang PD came in. 

"Is there any left for me?" he asked with a smile.

"You are always welcome for breakfast, Boss!" Jin said. 

"Rose, you are who I came to see. Can we chat after breakfast?"

"Oh yes, of course!"

I was silent the rest of breakfast, a little caught up in my thoughts. Jungkook nudged me a couple of times, I just smiled at him and took another bite. When we were all done he ushered me into a private area to talk to Bang PD.

"I have a check here for you, it is Bo's severance and his retirement account, a pretty hefty sum of money. I went to the jail and talked to Bo, he has agreed that you should get the money. I promised him that if he granted the divorce I would make sure he has money on his account, always, and that I will make sure nothing happens to you."

I opened the envelope and gasped at the amount of the check. I may have been isolated for a while but I knew that I could find a place and live off the rest, forever. 

"This is way too much. Surely there is a typo?"

"No, no typo. Bo worked with me since I started the company. He worked hard and made a good salary. I should mention also that you still have your accounts to go through as well. Everything is yours. You need to hire an attorney, or I can have one of ours help you."

"Thank you so much, I will find an attorney. I need to take charge of my life. I have a lot more ahead of me than I thought."

"Ok, and Rose, I'm so sorry. I should have figured this out sooner. Please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive." I said. I bowed to him and when I stood he was gone. 

"Jungkook, thank you so much for everything. Everyone keeps saying they are sorry but they shouldn't. No one saw me until you saw me."

"I think you see me, don't you Rose? Do you understand what I did was selfish? I destroyed your life and it turned out to be right, but what if I had made it all up in my head? What if you hadn't been a prisoner?"

"I don't believe for one minute that you would have done what you did if I had been in a different situation. You would have dropped it, you are a good person Jeon Jungkook."

That afternoon I had another panic attack, it came from nowhere. I was taking a shower because Jimin said we were going out to dinner that night. All of a sudden I couldn't catch my breath all the way, the steam was suffocating me. I couldn't even scream. I started getting lightheaded and fell down to the floor. 

Jungkook must have been right outside the door because he came right in when I went down. 

"Rose! Rose! Look at me, I'm here. You aren't alone and all the bad guys are in jail! Breathe!"

He started counting and breathing and so I started trying to breathe like him and pretty soon I felt better. 

"I don't know what happened." I said weakly.

"That's why I want you to see the therapist. It's probably PTSD." he helped me up and I got back in the shower to finish cleaning up, and he stayed in with me. I realized he just saw and was seeing me without clothes!

"Hey, I'm ok, you should get out of here now." I said while trying to cover up.

"It's a little late for that, Rose." he grinned at me but complied.

Wow! I thought to myself. Look at where I am today! In BTS's dorm! Hanging out, sleeping in the same room, them protecting me.

I really have nothing to fear anymore, except that this won't last forever. 

I guess I better see that therapist after all.