The Beauty of Solace

The Letter

---- Emily's POV---

He was the last chance I had to convince myself to stay. But he left. Sam walked right out of the door to mom's apartment and just left me there. What was I thinking? That he would have convinced me that I didn't need to leave and that my life in Portsmouth would be so much better? I shouldn't right? We were both adults and there was no way I should be expecting him to convince me to stay. He had a son, a job and a life in Portsmouth and I, on the other hand had a job that I might probably have to reapply to because I may have lost it as a result of my absence.

I was already back in London and as I came closer to my apartment building my bags felt heavier and heavier. It could've been because I was tired or the fact that I left Portsmouth made my heart sink a whole lot more than it did in the past. I passed by my mailbox and grabbed a handful of my three month mail.

I opened the door to my small city apartment and it has never felt more empty. There wasn't anyone here but myself and I felt it. I put my bags down and looked at the small room that was my living room and kitchen and around the corner had been my very empty bedroom. I took a deep breath and put my phone to charge, which was completely dead for God knows how long and went for a shower.

…
My phone was ringing and had rudely interrupted my shower. Normally, I would've left it but I was back in town and there wasn't anything that I needed to avoid. I got outside in ny towel and answered.

"Emily!" The other voice on the line yelled. It was Thea. The secretary from the company I worked I've grown quite fond of over the past few years.

"Hey T, what's up.."

"I've been trying to get in contact with you for what felt like forever, how are you doing?

"I'm fine, what is it?"

"Are you back in London yet?"

"Yes. I'm assuming you already knew that though," I said. They always kept tabs on their employees.

"I do… anyway. We had a letter here for you that arrived right after you left. I tried to get the address to get it to you but you weren't answering our emails or calls and then you said you were taking some time off…"

"Ok T, where are you getting at? And I could've just collected it when I got back. Why is that so urgent?"

"Well I did send it to your address did you go through your mail yet, it should be in a plain envelope…" I was going through my mail that I got from the mailbox and there it was, "it's from your mother," she said. And there it was. I didn't open it but it was there and I wasn't hearing Thea on the phone anymore. I didn't know what was in there but it was a mail from mom.

"EMILY!" Thea shouted over the line again. The girl didn't know when to stop.

"I got it," was all I said before I put my phone down without saying goodbye which I would have to later apologize for.

I tore it open shakily, and I could see it. It was a letter in her writing. The entire thing, two pages long. I skimmed my fingers over it and felt the indentation of her pen on the pages. She had written there. There wasn't a date on it but I knew it was before I left Portsmouth. I sat down and read.

My dearest Emily,

I've written this letter too many times. Or I should say that I've began to write this letter many times. I've had something to tell you for a while now and I have prevented your sister and father from telling you, though I think I would have to pay for that in the future.

I'm sick. I'm not going to write you and say the details of what I exactly it is but you should have an idea. It's back again. It's been back for a while now and I haven't been able to tell you or Nessa because I didn't want that to be the reason you came home. I wanted that to be your decision and even though it may sound absurd, I want you to want to come home. I don't know how long I have anymore. The doctors said that it could be a few weeks or a few months but it's uncertain.