Secrets of Fayhill High

(18) No Words

LUCAS

Hey 
Sorry if I said the wrong thing earlier :(

ME

No it's fine I was just having a really bad day

LUCAS

Wanna talk about it

ME

Not really
Sorry
I'll see you tomorrow

Mama had never seemed so empty. She put up a front for Clover but as soon as she left, Mama was gone. Replaced with some lifeless carbon-copy mistakenly labeled my mother. Another down day. 

Dad and I had been staying with her in shifts since she had returned from the hospital. Clover offered to help, but Dad told her no instantly.

It was Saturday afternoon, and I was sitting beside Mom while Dad was at the store. Hours passed and he still hadn't returned. I hadn't heard a word from him since he left. At around eight o'clock that night, Lucas called me.

"Hey, do you want to go on a quick drive with me? My dad's in town so I don't really want to go home..."

I looked over at Mama, who was sound asleep and sighed. "Sure, but only for a little while."

Clover was at a friend's house and Dad still wasn't home, but she was asleep so I decided not to worry about it.

The first ten minutes in the car were filled with complete silence, besides the quiet hum of music playing in the background. The guilt of leaving her home alone was beginning to eat away at me. I didn't even realize I was shaking.

"Are you okay?" Lucas finally broke the silence. 

"I-I think I need to go home." I muttered. Lucas nodded and we began the drive back to my house.

"Shit. I'm really sorry but could we take a quick detour? My mom asked if I could pick some Ibuprophen up from the store."

"Yeah, sure." I smiled.

Once we got the Ibuprophen, we began to walk towards the checkout... until we spotted the candy isle. We both decided we needed it and began browsing the different options. He picked out some Sour Skittles and I got Reese's.

We sat in the car for a while in the store's parking lot. Eating our candy and listening to some Kanye. I needed it after the week I'd had. Fall break was beginning on Wednesday, and I knew taking care of Mama would consume my time.

We took the long way home, truly enjoying one another's company. Though it all came crumbling down when I saw the lights to Mama's art room on. Lucas hadn't even parked his car before I was sprinting up the stairs to her room. Lucas was keeping up, and I was too distracted to tell him to leave.

The door was locked.

"MAMA! MAMA OPEN THE DOOR." I screamed as I pounded my fists against it. The room was silent so I sprinted to the closet where we kept the key to her room.

When I finally got the door open, I found Mama. She had an empty liquor bottle in one hand and a razor in the other. Her legs were covered in blood, though I knew this was a step forward- at least she didn't slit her wrists again. I rushed over to her, grabbed the razor and tossed it away.

"Hey, baby." Mama slurred. "Who's this?" She gestured to Lucas, who looked horrified.

"That doesn't matter. I need to get you cleaned up." I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and began leading her to the attatched bathroom. Once she was clean and bandaged up, I gave her some medicine, water, and put her to bed.

I closed her door and looked at Lucas, who still looked confused and sad.

"Hazel I-"

"No. Don't say you're sorry."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. But I think you need to leave."

"Do you need me to-"

"I don't need anything. Just please go." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as hurt washed over his face.

"Okay." That was all he said before he left.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the door. I slid down, pulled my knees up, and laid my head down.

Fuck. He found out. He'll tell everyone. No one will ever talk to me again. He'll never talk to me again. He saw it. He watched. He feels bad for me. He doesn't like me- not after this. The whole school will know. They'll think I'm crazy... just like her.

I could hear the door close downstairs, but remained in my spot. Dad came up the stairs, looking tired.

"Hey, honey. What's-" He could see the tears staining my cheeks.

"What happened." He began to reach for the door handle.

"She got drunk. It was only her legs though."

"How could you let this happen?"

"I wasn't home."

"You weren't home?!" He yelled.

"No. I went out. I thought you were supposed to be home hours ago."

"Don't you start, Hazel."

"I'm going to bed."

He didn't say anything. I simply got up and walked right past him.

"She's leaving next Sunday." Clover said as I prepared some cereal.

"What?"

"Dad signed her up. She's leaving next Sunday and won't be back for a while."

"What do you mean Dad signed her up." With that, Dad came strolling in.

"You're fucking sending her away?!" I screamed at him.

"Yes. We can't handle her anymore."

"So you're just giving up on your wife?"

"That's enough, Hazel."

"So you won't even have a conversation about it?"

"No."

Lucas tried reaching out to me- in person and on the phone. I couldn't even look at him. I was too embarrassed to even try. I was an emty shell. I didn't talk, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. Finally, the day I dreaded came.

"I'll call you every day, baby. I promise." Mama whispered as she wrapped me in a tight hug. 

She pulled Clover to her chest next and smiled, teary-eyed at us. Dad was going to go with her to help her settle, which meant Clover and I would be alone for a while.

"I love you both so much. I promise I'll be better when I come back. I promise." I couldn't hold back the sobs that broke out. Mama pulled me close and soothed my hair. 

She left too soon.