The Shadow's Light (KNB FANFIC)

Chapter 17 : Bite the Bullet

He'd had a nightmare, another kind of nightmare, the worst nightmare he ever had all these years. If he can befriend the darkness, he already have. Too bad, he is trying to sing another spell of waking up from his unforgiven night. That, everyday, every time he breathing, he always found himself loss to the endless cycle of his own scars and reforming soul. Where the most cherished person are ending up dying in his bare hands, crimson blood and coated, all of it were covering the disheveled body on his embraced. Beneath of every steps he'd take and curses from the masked people, as well then those clamoured voices echoing in his deepest mind.

All of the promises he breaks...all of those mistakes gathering above his head. He is waiting for something, something to see the worth of his existence until his beloved came pulling him from drowning but what he did was unforgivable. He...He hurt him and killed him.  Fragile, blue, pale...lifeless body of his first love.

"What are you doing!? You are  ridiculous!"

"You're not helping, you're only making it worse! Stop it already!"

" Leave him alone."

" Look at yourself, you're not different from your grandfather."

"My son and heir wasn't irresponsible like you."

Ah. It's the same words again, over and over like broken machine. Those sentences that kept haunting him are coming back. Was it because a sudden death of his father? Was it because the heaven's are doing the right thing supposed to be done a few years ago. Will he able to free from this? Will he be find happiness in this end? So many questions, so many uncertainties, Hong Sei Shi closed his eyes for a moment. Then blinked, awake with his heartbeats  thumping from of usual dilemma. Beside him, he could feel his blue eyed beloved warmth, giving his a soothing effect making his body calmed down from an intense nightmare. He felt so tired, his mind kept recalling what had transpired in his dreams, from all of apathetic scenarios he can have, why that one, why it has to be his beloved lying in his arms. He learned a lot of things while being with the bluenette such as the human emotions. Back then, he is nothing but maniac of greediness and the  greatness of power behold from his birth as next heir in Hong's family clan. But then he met the young boy wishing for a prince like in those child's fairy-tale that he never even heard from his mother's mouth. He doesn't have fear, he doesn't fear of his parent's life before, he doesn't fear about his own being yet the bluenette came erasing all of those careless principles and gave him the feeling of what fear felt like. For the first of his life, he feared losing anyone he cared about, let alone especially his beloved. When his own mother died, he cried all night in this room.
He painted a lot of his mother's portrays to sooth himself, but it's not enough never the less. And now, his father left, killed by those people who want them dead before the sun rise. He shed tears, painful, longing tears to his cold father who became more and more unapproachable with the death of his wife.

Right now, he don't know whether to laugh in madness or cry again. He is a man for the heaven's sake, but he's still human at least that what he believed he is. He is grateful to his beloved for staying by his side as well he were also embarrassed in showing such the weak side of him. Though, he is sure, crying isn't making you less a man. Hong Sei Shi  stared and stared and stared at his Tetsuya.

As if my memorizing every features in his beloved face, drilling it into his mind that will not go away any second from now on.
His beloved soft breaths, his beloved smell, his beloved sleeping calm expression, he is content just seeing Tetsuya safe and sound.
Loving like this—It is dangerous to love, to care, deeply. But, it's not regrettable to feel like this—it's a heaven's blessing. He leaned and lightly kissed Tetsuya's soft cheeks for a second. At the same time, his bluenette are slowly opening his eyes, eyelashes flutter in leisure where their eyes met one another. It took  for how many seconds they stared at each other. Before it finally reached Tetsuya the realisation, instantly, he blushed. And it didn't bothered Sei Shi, instead it made his heart beats faster more than before. A slow smile spread across his lips, tiredly, for the second time he closed the space and then  captured those soft–red lips into his.  Heart, mind, body were moving according to their own will, Sei Shi starts licking the lips of his beloved—how soft and lovely—it tasted like sweet molasses. Even the vanilla scent were there, intoxicating, tempting, addicting, he want it, he want more of them. Tetsuya let him to access his mouth, where he entered his tongue and then starts exploring all the way while his bluenette tried fighting for a dominance but eventually failed. Where the bluenette try to glare at Sei Shi for a second yet there's no time for that. When his man is busy defiling his mouth over and over again that he's starting to lose his breath's as well making his body feel hot. He have the idea why, yet it giving him more emotions rising at the same time. It's overwhelming feeling that he wants more but his mind telling him he's not ready for it. A soft moaned escaped his lips, Sei Shi heard the sounds his lover's letting out. It's not helping at all. He can tell down there, something is reacting which is pushing him more in sinful desires. Where they're body would clash, body heat were screaming under of lustful influence. Even so, Sei Shi still think of how his beloved will react if they goes there, he gazed at set of blue eyes loosing it's control as it's falling in the spell of lust. He didn't stopped and his deep hetero chromatic eyes lustfully looked to it's centre of attraction. Ah, he don't want to stop after hearing Tetsuya's moaned. His beloved are namely delicate as rosebud yet high spirited fire burning freely in admist of darkness. Tetsuya is special, one of a kind, more than he knows.