Teeth »ᴄɵᴍᴘᴌᴇтᴇ«

SIXTEEN

SIXTEEN

Opening my eyes showed bodies everywhere and... I felt my heart swell with love. After crying myself to sleep last night in Zane's arms, I hadn't been sure where the others were. But I felt my love for my friends grow. They'd stayed. They hadn't left.

Zane was where he'd been last night. The only difference being that I'd fell asleep facing him and now I was facing away from him with his arm's wrapped around me and his face against my throat. Archie was the closest out of the others. Lucas was sat in Zane's chair near the top of the bed and Archie was sat on his lap, laying half on the bed above my head, snuggling a pillow that he'd pinched. Taylor and Ryan were on the floor, laying on layers of blankets. I felt myself laugh as I saw that Taylor was holding Ryan the same way Zane was holding me.

I felt Zane rise behind me. "What's so funny?"

"Ryan and Taylor."

As I spoke I felt a hand flap against me and realised that Archie was hitting me as though I was an alarm clock. "Shut-ap, too early in mornin' to wake. Sleep."

I felt Zane laugh behind me at both what I'd said and Archie.

Lucas woke enough to tell Archie to stop moving, and pulled Archie back so that Archie ended up twisting so that he could curl on Lucas's lap with Lucas holding him, cuddling the pillow.

Feeling safe, loved, and reassured, I allowed my mind to settle back into the sleep that it needed.

I woke to hearing three different things at once. The door closed – making the room fill with the aroma of food, Lucas and Archie were talking about me, and Zane was playing with my hair. Wrapping it around his finger before letting it fall away before repeating it again and again. He was still behind me, holding me.

"I hope she'll be okay," Archie said quietly. Still thinking that I was asleep.

"She will," Lucas said confidently. "She's too strong not to be."

"Too damn stubborn, too," I heard Ryan add with a smile. "She'll be fine Archie. But seriously, what would you do if you were abused through your childhood – which I'm guessing she was, and then your mum just died. Suicide, no less."

I stayed silent. Suicide. She'd committed suicide just to get away from me.

"You killed him!

"How could you?

"You're useless and bad luck, Valerie Kast! I should have killed you when I first had you! ... You kill everybody! You can't even protect your own mother! Your going to let them put me in a mental house! I hate you, Valerie. You are no daughter of mine."

She'd disowned me. Hated me. Hated me so much she wanted me dead. And the reason she wanted me dead was because I'd killed dad. Everything was my fault.

But, because I wasn't dead, she died instead.

"Valerie!" Zane's voice shot through the memories and dragged me out enough to realise that I was shaking so hard the bed was moving.

I hugged Zane, needing the comfort of someone. Anyone at that point. Zane's arms wrapped securely around me. Held me in a grip that said that he'd never let go. I wasn't sure how long past, but eventually, I was able to loosen my grip on Zane.

"I'm sorry." My words were quiet, but I knew the room heard them.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Val," Ryan said, pausing. "Besides, I should be the one saying "sorry", not you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

A moment of silence passed as the door to the room was opened. The doctor entered and closed the door behind him when he saw we were all awake. His golden-brown eyes looked over me where I lay curled against Zane. "How are you feeling, Valerie?"

It took me a moment to answer. "I don't know."

He looked over me again, then at the others in the room. "Your all to stay with Valerie today unless you wish to attend the lessons. It's up to you. Valerie, may I check any wounds your body may have?"

I nodded and moved away from Zane to stand by the bed.

"I'm guuna go and get a DVD," Archie said, then turned to Lucas. "Wanna help pick?"

"Sure."

"We'll go get T.V. and DVD player," Taylor said, gesturing himself and Ryan.

Once there was only the doctor, Zane and myself in the room, I took off my shirt, leaving me in my trousers and bra. Zane had seen this much of me before, so I didn't mind. And the doctor, well, he was the doctor.

As the doctor prodded and looked at the healing cuts on my stomach after taking off the bandage, Zane touched my lower back. The door opened at the same time.

"When we first met you, we saw the cuts on your back." He paused, as though the anger in his tone was greater than he was letting on. "Did she do them?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it was the day dad died."

"Was that who she meant? When she said "first you kill him"?"

"Yes," I said in a whisper of grief.

"How did he die?" Zane asked, wrapping his arms around me, holding me to him.

I was only just aware of the doctor leaving the room, of him shooing whoever had opened the door, and closing it behind him. Leaving us to talk freely to each other.

"The war." "You killed him! You gave him bad luck! You made him want to go to war to protect you! You killed him!" Her earlier words echoed in my head. "He joined the army because the war was getting too close to home. So he joined the army to protect us." I paused. "He died two weeks before he was supposed to come home."

"How old were you?"

"Five."

"And your mum blamed you?"

"It was easier for her to think that. It was easier to have her hate me for it than die." I sighed. "If she didn't have me to hate, then I don't think she would have survived for very long after receiving the letter that told her dad died."

"So you suffered to keep her alive?"

"I did what had to be done."

The rest of the group finally reappeared and we ended up watching the series of Fast and Furious. Food was delivered by the ocelot nurse at lunch and dinner. And at the end of the night, there was a relaxed mood in the room and we all fell asleep where we sat or lay.

   

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