I am his, and he his mine • cmbyn (DISCONTINUED)

☼thirty three☼

I sat in his small apartment silently. His clothes were thrown around sporadically and chairs were turned out of place and beer cans littered the tables. You could tell he wasn't in the best state of mind.

Oliver appeared out of the single room in his living space and fixed his floppy hair upon eyeing me "um I'm sorry the place is such a mess...I didn't have a good night" he looked around nervously.

I felt like I was looking at a mirror. He was so nervous, so uncomfortable. His troubled state seemed to make me feel more comfortable some how. Like maybe I'm not the crazy one. But it did unnerve me seeing him like this. it was uncharacteristic of him.

"Are you alright?" I asked after assuring him his apartment was fine, although it did have a odor I can't put my finger on. I didn't tell him the last part.

He looked at me shyly and laughed, a real Oliver laugh. A laugh that I recognized, it was the only familiar thing I had seen in a long time, "heh, I guess I am acting a bit strangely huh?"

I just nodded and smiled.

"Things have been...difficult to say the least. Money's been tight and my job is fine it's just...I don't know I feel like I'm over qualified. Like they aren't giving me enough you know? It's been frustrating. And of course there's you...I thought I wasn't going to see you for another 4 years. I thought you would come back with a girlfriend or maybe even a kid haha," he looked up at me momentarily, "why are you here?"

I cleared my throat and looked him in the eye, I prepared for this in my bathroom mirror, "I'm here studing Art History at Colombia" I said proudly, "and if you try to convince me to leave, I will never. I will always be by your side through worse or for better."

He looked at me with an unrecognizable expression and then just hugged me. Two men, two humans, two souls, two hearts again together. He said nothing but the tight grasp he held me in told me everything I needed to know. He was terrified of me. Terrified of loosing me. Terrified of the lonely haze life sometimes holds you hostage in. And I understood because so was I.

I could feel the heavy weight, the constant verge of crying feeling dissipate. I could feel the constant thought of him; the constant thought of everything that went wrong go away. Now everything was good. He was in a mess. He was in a horrible situation. But I hoped I could help mend it.

He pulled apart from me only for a moment before looking at my eyes quickly before they shut down to my lips. The contact scared me. My eyes grew and my mouth opened. The push of his lips against mine made me electric. I pushed back onto him gently and returned the kiss with just the same force. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt his tongue slip inside my mouth, exploring it. His tongue was soft, it was a lovely feeling. I felt flowers bloom in my chest once again, a feeling I thought I had lost. Our mouths together, it was so new yet it was the only thing I have ever known. My favorite thing about kissing him was and will always be the smell. I could smell him better than I ever could when we kissed. And he smelled heavenly. I could inhale him forever and never get bored.

Everything was in pastel colors.

Until it wasn't

BANG BANG BANG

The apartment shook at the aggressiveness of the knocking. I pulled away quickly, shocked at the sudden burst of noise. He looked at the door before shooting a small smile to me, kissed my nose then went to the door.

"Can I help you?" His deep voice echoed in my ears.

"Yes actually you can. Mr Ulliva are you aware you're a month late on your rent?"

"Oh...no I'm sorry my ex wife was in charge of the bills and I haven't been able to look at them all quite yet seeing she really just left last night you see..."