Night Changes

day 1

𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞
𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐚𝐦

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I was making myself some breakfast, when I noticed that I was running out of bread and milk. Sighing, I grabbed my jacket, let Cleo out and walked down the street to buy some.

The weather seemed very strange. The colors on the sky were cold, while the wind seemed welcoming. The sun was nowhere to be found, while clouds had decided to claim their presence.

I looked around. There weren't many people, but the ones around me...seemed very joyful for some kind of reason. And something about it, irked me. How were they smiling so bright and what made them feel that way?

There had to be a remedy. A way to be happy. I just needed to find it. The bakery near the market seemed empty. Most of the people didn't even care enough to acknowledge the little shop. Every customer ran to the huge market beside it.

Idiots.

Shaking my head, I made my way there. The church clock rang, quarter past 9. On my way there, I caught a glimpse of a girl, bringing out fresh croissants from the oven. I realized it wasn't Amy. The girl that usually worked there.

So, I decided to turn around, because Amy knew very well what I always wanted. I never had to talk to her. But now I would've to. And I wasn't up for that. Unfortunately, just as I was to turn around, she caught me standing there.

The girl looked at me for a moment, before her lips crept into a big smile. Her eyes started shining and it would've been a shame to disappoint her. I took a deep breath and decided to go with it.

How bad could I've been?

I entered the small bakery and the bell above the entrance rang. She turned to me with the same smile she was wearing just a moment ago. But now, also her cheeks had formed their own color. Crimson red.

Walking up to the counter, I stood there and stared at all that she had to offer. They even served breakfast. I wouldn't have to make myself some. But wasn't I supposed to save money? Well, I was going to leave anyway. And the money I'd leave behind, nobody would be there to waste.

“Good morning, Sir... how may I help you?”, she asked me but I was too busy deciding if I should've breakfast at home or not.

I kept looking at those brownies. And then at the croissant. Then at my watch. Then at the croissant. And just like that a couple of minutes passed.

“Sir?”, I heard her soft voice again. She sounded concerned. Had I managed to blow my cover?

“Huh?”, I exclaimed, still not looking at her, but this time out of sheer embarrassment. I didn't want her to see my stupid face.

“What would you like?”, she asked me with a raised eyebrow, but the smile still existing. I scratched the back of my neck.

“W-what do you think is better? The browny or the croissant?”, I whispered while looking at her. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again.

“I think both of them are nice. But if you ask me personally, I'd love a browny”, she answered just as hesitant as I was. I looked at the small delicate and then at her, before giving her a short nod.

I then turned around and walked over to  the tables she had set in a corner. There weren't many but a couple. I picked up the newspaper laying on the table. I didn't understand anything that was written on that, but it seemed like a good distraction.

Well, I did know how to read, but I wasn't much into politics and anything else. I was very closed off from the world. So, all the issues written on that piece of paper, didn't intrigue me.

“Here are your brownies and a cup of coffee”, she said while placing them in front of me. I looked at her and shot her a small smile.

She was about to walk away. And I didn't want to be left alone. I had no idea why I wanted her to talk to me, but she seemed nice. And I had been existing in this world for 19 years now, so I knew that nice was very rare to be found.

“W-would you l-ike to sit d-down with me?”, I asked her and she stopped walking immediately. The girl slowly turned around, she looked at me with a very complicated emotion in her eyes. One I just couldn't figure out.

Then she started taking small steps towards me and sat down on the seat in front of me. She looked at me, but I couldn't meet her eyes. It did something very weird to me. Looking at her made my heart race and I didn't like that feeling. It was very new.

“I'm Anika”, she whispered and I looked up. I had to say something. Otherwise she'd think I'm being rude. I didn't want to be rude.

“Shivaay”, I muttered and took a sip from my coffee. Anika rested her face on her palm and started staring at me.

“You don't talk much, do you?”, she asked me and my hands that were resting on my thighs, started sweating.

I shook my head. I looked at Anika, the twinkle of her eyes never leaving. But there was something else too. I diverted my gaze, because it had started to make me feel nervous.

“Where's Amy?”, I asked her and took a bite from the browny. Anika sat up straight.

“I don't know. She quit a week ago. I'm actually here because of her and I'm very grateful that she let me work in her place. But I don't seem to be doing a good job. Not many people come here”, Anika sounded very sad about it.

Because now the twinkle had gone out.

I just stared at her not knowing what to say and she kept looking at me in hope, I'd offer her some words of kindness, but there were none.

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“Cleo, what does it mean if a girl is nice to you?”, I asked her and she looked at me dumbfounded.

“Meow”, she said and I stopped reading the book, I looked at her skeptically.

“I think so too”, I whispered and was back to staring at the page, filled with so many words.

Words. That consumed the world. And most of the time, they had no meaning. They were used by people to deceive other people.

Cleo had left the room and I leaned back at my bed. I put my book on my chest and kept thinking. Why did it feel like I knew her? I should avoid her, this wasn't good for me.

I wasn't good for her.
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Amna xx