Soulmates: A Collection of Bellarke Fanfics

II. Ramifications

"Clarke, it's safer on our side," Bellamy had said, referring to where the rest of their people set up tents for the right.

Clarke had determinedly told him there were no sides anymore, and they needed to show the Grounders they trusted them— to extend an olive branch of sorts.

Upon hearing her response, and knowing just how stubborn she was, Bellamy set up his pack between her and the Grounders. Clarke tried to ignore the gesture, pretending that it didn't make her heart skip just a little. In every moment and in every way, Bellamy Blake looked out for her.

They laid a few feet away from one another, a small camp fire in between. The rest of the camp was still noisy with conversation. No one had settled down yet. Not that it mattered. Clarke already knew she would be getting no sleep that night.

Bellamy took cautious glances at her every once in a while— wondering just how she was even functioning after the events of the previous night. She had been forced to kill someone she loved, and now they were teaming up with those responsible for his death to save all of their friends, who just happened to be trapped inside a mountain of horrors. How the hell was she even remotely calm? He supposed that was just who Clarke was. He'd seen her survive awful trauma before, and she always pulled through, so he shouldn't have been surprised that she could do what was right for her people even when it was damn near impossible.

What was most concerning, however, wasn't the fact that she was still standing. It was the haunted look in her eyes. While it wasn't necessarily new— he'd seen it after she thought her mother's ship crashed, and after Well's died— it was horrifying. He knew Clarke Griffin. He knew who she was when she was rational, or when she was angry, or when she was just exhausted. But Bellamy could never figure out who Clarke was, or what she would do, when she was downright haunted.

It scared him more than he cared to admit.

The sounds of the camp got quieter as people began settling in for the night, but Bellamy guessed Clarke would be up all night anyhow, so he decided to stay up, too. And staying up the whole night was definitely going to be easier if they actually spoke to each other. Their makeshift beds were close enough that the others wouldn't be able to here their conversation.

"Clarke?" He started hesitantly. He turned his body so it was facing hers.

Quickly, her eyes snapped to his, almost like he startled her. Suddenly, she looked very fragile, the firelight diminishing every one of her intimidating features. It reminded him that she was just a teenager. They both were.

"Yeah?" She replied, an odd quality to her voice.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You just look lost in thought," Bellamy shrugged, trying to act like his line of questioning was innocent and that he wasn't insanely worried about her.

As always, she saw right through him.

"Bellamy, I'm fine." She furrowed her eyebrows.

"I know you need to tell yourself to keep it together right now, but... Clarke, when you're not fine, I'm here. Don't carry this all by yourself."

"I have to," Clarke whispered.

"No. You don't." He said fiercely. "You did the right thing, but the guilt you feel, no matter how unnecessary it is, it hurts like hell. And it's not gonna get better unless you let me help you."

She just stared and him, eyes not quite convinced, so Bellamy continued, "Because if, for some crazy reason, you need forgiveness for what you had to do, then fine. I'll give that to you. But you need to accept it."

He saw something register within her as he said those words— the callback to what she said to him after Dax had tried to kill them. It was more than a memory, he knew. It was a reminder that she wasn't alone.

"Bellamy," is all she said. It was the only word she could get her mouth to form. The rest of her thoughts got tangled in her tightening throat.

Silence consumed them both for a few moments, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I just want to make sure he didn't die for nothing," Clarke finally said as she rose to a sitting position.

"I may not like this alliance, but we will save our friends. That's what Finn chose to give his life for." He reassured her.

"I don't know exactly in what way, but I really did care for him, ya know?" Her voice was soft and low. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

Bellamy felt an odd weight on his chest. He wanted nothing more than to get up and wrap his arms around her, to envelope her in a hug similar to the one she had given him just days ago when they reunited. "I know, Clarke. I know."

At some point, the look on her face became too much to bear. Bellamy gently stood up and walked over, finding a seat next to her. As soon as he sat down, she leaned right into him, her head resting between his shoulder and his chest. He instinctively wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. He could practically feel all the exhaustion and emotion pouring out of her body.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but Clarke made no effort to pull away, and Bellamy certainly didn't mind. He was glad she could finally let some of her grief out, even if his heart shattered into a million pieces when he heard her sniffle and saw the faint traces of tears on her face.

Leaning down ever so slightly, he placed his lips on her forehead, trying to bring her a bit of comfort. Clarke was surprised, but quickly relished in the soft kiss. Just months ago, they had challenged and irritated one another in every way. Just days ago, they hugged and realized how good it was to have each other by their side. And now, here they were— Bellamy Blake kissing her forehead and offering her support when she felt like the world was shattering beneath her.

The ramifications of that thought, of what he had become to her, terrified Clarke. She felt the skin on the back of her neck tingle. If it meant what she thought it did and then she lost him, too...

She wouldn't be able to survive this feeling again— the grief, the loss.

Quickly, Clarke sat up straight, pulling herself away from Bellamy. This was too close, too dangerous. Allowing him to become a fixture in her life would only lead to more pain.

Finn taught her that.

Bellamy was a little shocked, and slightly disheartened, that Clarke distanced herself, but he awkwardly patted her on the back, acting as if the whole interaction was just them being pals.

Both of them knew there was more to the situation. Both of them felt the little spark when they held one another. But admitting it made it all too real.

So, Bellamy said goodnight and told her to at least try to get some rest, and she gratefully nodded.

And they both went back to pretending that their connection was just a convenience.