Soulmates: A Collection of Bellarke Fanfics

X. Here

"Do you ever wonder why us?" Bellamy's soft voice asked.

Clarke looked up at him, a little bit of longing and a little bit of wonder in her eyes. "What do you mean, Bell?"

They sat side by side beside a small creek in the quiet forest. Bellamy was heading out to gather more water, to clear his head, and asked Clarke to come along. There technically wasn't any need for her help, but Bellamy was feeling a little shaky— a feeling he recognized often proceeded a full on breakdown. So, to him, her company felt absolutely necessary.

At some point on their walk, they had stopped to rest and admire the evening sunlight.

Bellamy had a feeling that Clarke knew exactly what he meant, but he elaborated anyway.

"It just seems like... like everyone around us gets hurt. Everyone dies. So many of our friends, our people, are gone. Why are we left— you and me? Why did we survive?" He tried to keep his voice even.

Clarke worried her lip and sighed. He was right. And, if they didn't figure out a plan, more of their people would die in Praimfaya in three short months. It was weighing on both of them. "I honestly don't know. I wish I could give you an answer."

"I just can't decide if us making it this far means we're lucky or cursed," He said, gruffly.

Clarke noticed the sadness in his eyes. It made her whole chest ache. "It feels like a bit of both."

He just shrugged and looked down.

"And some days," she continued, "It does feel overwhelming. I get it. But don't let yourself get too caught up in that mindset, Bellamy. You deserve to be here. We need you."

Suddenly, a wave of frustration overtook him. "You say that all the time, Clarke, and it's a complete lie! I'm the guy people sometimes look to when you're busy. I'm the guy who commits more sins than good deeds. It just hits me so hard, sometimes. Like it's not fair that I'm here and everyone else is dead!"

When he finished his small outburst, Bellamy turned away, almost embarrassed. His shoulders hung low.

"Oh, Bellamy," Clarke placed a hand on his arm. She felt her whole throat tighten. It physically hurt her to see him think so poorly of himself. "Look at me."

He didn't respond at first, so she said it again. "Please, Bellamy. Look at me."

Slowly, he turned, a ragged war of emotions in his expression. Clarke gently cupped his face with her hand. He closed his eyes, relaxing into her touch, and she caressed her thumb on the side of his cheek.

"You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known, Bellamy," She couldn't help the shy smile that formed on her lops as she thought about just how phenomenal this man was. "And you follow it, no matter what. You have the strength to never give up, no matter what odds are against us. You lend me that strength when I need it most."

Bellamy's eyes were open now. They were locked in on her's.

"Our people need you. You keep us alive. But they also love you more than you will ever know. You're important to this world. You're important to them. You're important to me." She said. Her voice was filled with such clarity and conviction.

Before Clarke could even process what was happening, Bellamy had wrapped his arms around her. He held her so tight, digging his fingers into the skin on her back. She could hear his uneven breath. Actually, she could feel his chest rising and falling— just as she could feel his heart beat.

"I'm so tired of feeling guilty," he whispered.

"Then let me give you the forgiveness you need," she replied, just as quietly.

This was what Bellamy and Clarke did. This was who they were. When one of them was having a bad day, one of those times when everything felt dark and hopeless and just awful, the other stepped up. They were the reminder that the feeling would go away in the morning. That, yes, their lives were hard and stressful and tragic, but they had each other.

It's why Bellamy had the instinctual desire to be alone with her today. It was all getting to him, and he needed his... his person.

After embracing for a few minutes longer, they slowly pulled away, their arms still intertwined.

"There's no rhyme or reason to who dies, Bellamy. You know that. It's not your fault. You're still here, and you're gonna be here for as long as I am. Because I couldn't do this without you." Clarke said.

"I'm trying my best," He said, and the pure tenderness of his voice melted her heart.

"I know. We all are," She reached out a brushed back a piece of his curly hair.

"You're amazing," He simply whispered, looking at her like she hung the stars in the sky.

"No, I'm not." Clarke replied, gently. "I have just as much blood on my hands as you do, Bellamy. Today's just one of those rare days I can handle it."

Bellamy nodded and extended his arm to her far shoulder, pulling her closer to him. Clarke rested her head on his shoulder. "Doesn't matter. You're helping me handle it, too."

"That's what I'm here for," She said.

Bellamy felt a sense of peace wash over him. His anxiety was still there, and her words didn't solve his problems, but they did provide him comfort. Her endless support kept him standing.

So, he held her tighter, kissed her forehead, and whispered, "I may not know why we're always the last ones standing, Princess, but I sure am glad you're here."

"Me too, Bell," Clarke smiled softly, nuzzling closer into his embrace. "Right now, here is pretty good."