The Assistant // Louis Tomlinson

47 - Choices

DONT HATE ME SCHOOL HAS JUST BEEN BUSY!!!!
AND MY BABY COUSIN WAS FINALLY BORN!!!! #Nixon-9.4.14

and id just like to say now that this is no way reflects my opinions or thoughts about abortion, nor will i tell you where i stand and i hope you can all ignore the controversial aspect of the topic for this is just a story. THANK YOU!!!

and last one promise............... 4 FLIPPING K READS!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH!! COMMENT AND VOTE!!

Same Mistakes

"Excuse me?" I gasp, wide eyed. His expression remains stoic as he looks to me.

"You heard me. And I know somewhere in that pretty little head of yours, you know I am right." I keep my gaze locked on his as I process the words. I'm vaguely aware of Louis fuming in front of him, but I know he is giving me a second to collect my own thoughts, regardless of if he knows which way they are headed.

I don't even know that, myself. I'd be lying if the thought never crossed my mind, but I always shooed it away, thinking I just needed to get that out of my head since I knew I could never go through with that, nor would Louis let me. But now, hearing it as a reasonable option from a third-party may give the choice a new light.

I mean, how are we going to do this?! We are still kids. We can't take care of a baby. And then what about our careers? The media aspect alone would be hell, and then when we are on tour, would we just take the baby with us? I mean, Lou and Caroline seem to make it work, but they are older and married and can handle a child better than we could--at least right now. Of course I've always wanted children, but I wanted to wait until I was like... twenty eight. Or at least twenty five. Not not twenty one!

Not just out of college. Not just starting my first real job. Not just beginning my career! I have worked the better part of my life to get here, and I am still just getting started. And obviously, One Direction is still going strong. We don't have room in our lives and schedules and responsibilities for a baby!

So... what if... maybe it would be better for us all--the baby included--to not have it. We can always have some later when our lives are more adaptable for a kid.

Then again, I know Louis won't be easily swayed into this thinking. As much trouble he is aware this would be, I know he really wants this baby. He may not have planned for it, but now that it's happening, he has his mind set on the life he sees with our child.

I take in a deep breath as I refocus on the room around me. I notice Simon left at some point during my musings. Louis is sitting in the chair Simon had previously occupied before he was shoved up and toppled it over.

He holds his head in his hands with his fingers fisted through his hair. Looking at his distressed position, I have to remind myself of my reasoning.

I reach out slowly and place my palm around his shoulder. The contact surprises him and he jumps slightly in his seat before looking up to me. His eyelids are tinted red, and make my heart clench in my chest. He briefly clenches his lips together to assure me he is really there... to a certain extent, at least.

I breathe in deeply, exhaling, "Louis."

I see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows harshly, opening his mouth with almost a gasp for air. He gives himself a second before responding, "Yeah?"

I can feel the air around us growing heavier with all the words we read on each others faces, but hesitant to say out loud. My eyes flicker between them as I try my best to decipher what is really running through his head at the moment. All I see is devastation and desperation; grasping at straws to figure out how to handle the situation.