✓ | PRIMAL, jacob black ²

chapter forty four

CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

Jacob Black's body was covered in sweat, his muscles sore and stiff from the endless hours of restless tossing and turning. Every inch of him ached as if a freight train had crashed through him. The past week had been the most agonizing stretch of his life, a blur of pain, medication, and delirium. Sometimes, it was impossible for him to discern whether what he was seeing or hearing was real or just a hallucination brought on by the constant medications.

With a soft groan, he slowly cracked open his eyes, squinting against the harsh light. His mind felt foggy, struggling to catch up to the world around him when suddenly, a familiar voice broke through the haze.

"You look like crap, Jacob Black," the voice said, sharp and clear, and yet somehow still soothing.

Jacob's head turned slowly toward the voice, wincing from the movement. He let out a grunt of discomfort, squinting at the figure in his room. For a split second, he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or if she was really there. The medication made everything seem so surreal, and his senses were clouded. But then, her face came into focus, and a small laugh bubbled out of her as she walked closer.

He blinked in disbelief, his throat dry, his chest tight. "Aniya?" he rasped, unsure if he was hallucinating her presence or if she had really come to see him. The words barely felt like they were his own, and his heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of her being there.

"I'm really here, Jacob," she said softly, sitting down in the chair next to his bed. The familiar comfort of her voice made him breathe a little easier, but his body still tensed with the weight of everything that had happened.

With a small grunt, Jacob shifted slightly, his body protesting every movement. "Well, it's a little rude to not say hi back," he mumbled, trying to muster up some semblance of humour despite the intense pain coursing through him. His eyes met hers, searching her face to make sure she was really there. The intensity of the moment made him feel like his mind might slip away again.

Aniya chuckled at his weak attempt to joke. "Well, don't feel too special," she teased, leaning back in the chair with a small grin. "I went to Serena first."

Jacob frowned, hearing the words hit him like a cold splash of water. "Really?" he said, trying to make light of it, though there was a pang in his chest at the thought. "So not me first? That hurts."

"Oh, suck it up, Jake," she responded with a smirk, but there was a softness to her voice that made Jacob smile faintly. Hearing her call him that again, it felt like something he'd been longing for. A sense of normalcy.

His smile faltered as he let out a tired, painful laugh. "It's been a long time since I've heard that," he murmured.

"What?" Aniya asked, genuinely confused.

"Jake," he whispered again, his voice thick with emotion. There was a part of him that had missed it more than he cared to admit—the way she said his name, the way it felt like it belonged to them.

Aniya's smile wavered slightly, her eyes softening with understanding. "Well, I figured you deserved it, especially after taking the hit that I was supposed to," she said, her voice taking on a tone that made Jacob wince. It was a reminder of how everything had gone so wrong between them.

He shifted in bed, the pain too much to ignore, but he couldn't stay silent anymore. "So, you figured that out, huh?" he asked cautiously, his eyes never leaving hers. "I couldn't lose you, Aniya, not after everything. Not when I finally realized what a massive idiot I've been."

Aniya's eyes softened as she leaned forward slightly. "We both were idiots, Jake," she admitted, her voice almost too quiet. "We let rumours get in the way of everything. We let things get out of hand when we should've just talked."

Jacob closed his eyes, letting her words settle in his mind. It was true. They had both let something trivial and unnecessary tear them apart. He should've never allowed it to go this far. The thoughts had been swirling in his head for days, and the truth had finally come crashing down on him.

"And a person," Jacob added, his voice bitter, knowing exactly who she was referring to.

"A person, yeah," Aniya said softly, her gaze falling to the floor for a moment. "Jake, we don't need to—"

"No, let me finish," Jacob cut her off, his breath sharp with the effort to speak. She looked at him, concern flashing in her eyes, but he held up a hand to reassure her. "I'm fine," he whispered, though it was clear he wasn't. He tried to ignore the pain that continued to pulse through him. "Aniya, never in my life have I made a more stupid decision than this one. I let someone get between us, and I knew better. I've destroyed everything we had, and I'll never forgive myself for it."

Aniya bit her lip, her heart breaking for him. "We all make mistakes, Jake—"

"Not as much as I have," Jacob interjected, shaking his head slowly. "I made the biggest mistake of all. I let go of an amazing girl, the girl who was my best friend. The girl who made me want to be better."

"Amazing girl, huh?" Aniya said with a small smile, but the sadness in her eyes didn't escape Jacob's notice. "You give me too much credit."

"I'll never stop saying it," Jacob said softly, his eyes locked on hers. "You were everything to me."

Aniya's smile faltered as she looked away. "You'll never just take my words, huh?"

Jacob managed a weak chuckle despite the pain. "Never," he whispered.

"And what kind of friend would I be if I let you take all the blame?" she said, her voice gentle, but there was a certain finality in her words.

"Friend?" Jacob repeated, his heart sinking. "So, that's it?"

Aniya paused, her eyes searching his face before she shook her head, a hint of sadness clouding her features. "We know what we want, Jake, but it's not the right time. Not now. Not after everything that's happened."

"Aniya—" Jacob began, but she held up a finger to stop him.

"Not now, Jake," she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. She slowly stood from the chair, her legs stiff from sitting for so long. "Please forgive me for this."

Jacob's heart clenched as he watched her walk toward the door. "Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" he asked, his voice cracking as the weight of her departure settled in.

She looked back at him, her eyes filled with pain, before she finally spoke. "I need you to heal, Jake. Get better—for the sake of everyone."

"Aniya!" Jacob called, his voice louder now, desperate, but she was already walking out the door. He wanted to shout, to beg her to stay, but the words wouldn't come.

She didn't look back as she stepped out of the room, her feet moving swiftly down the hall. "Forgive me, Jake," she whispered just before she disappeared, her words lingering in the air as Jacob's heart broke all over again. He called out her name, but it was too late. She was gone.