seeing blindly | ✔

Seeing Blindly: Two Of Us

| chapter 26 |

(a/n: soo i'm late on publishing at least 4 chapters no big deal right? anyway, apologizes! here is chapter 26 !)

It takes us both a moment to rethink about what I said. How could I possibly be thinking this way? What was I getting at?

I stood my ground, my insides heating up. I felt my hair fall in front of my face, but I was in too much emotional pain to not do anything about it. The expression on Clancy's face was empty, but in his eyes I can see the hurt. He was blind to what was going on now. 

"Is that what you want?" I planned to nod, but he continued anyway, "Do you want to leave? Why would you do this? Is this about Liam? Dean?"

"I don't know what this is about, Clancy." I admitted. "But this is what I want." My mind grew foggy, and i couldn't put the pieces together. What could I say? There was nothing i could say that could help this. Help us...

Clancy sighs, but he wasn't admitting defeat. "Amara, I think you just need to relax. Don't worry about Liam or Dean or the Children's League for a while... take care of yourself first. You've been putting everyone else first for the longest time." He walks over to me, gently placing his hands on my shoulders. I grew tense when he touched me, but the fire inside of me burned out. Clancy has always had a way of calming the fire in my veins. 

This time wasn't different like all the other times we argued, but those arguments weren't as serious as this one. 

I backed away, and told him what I witnessed that night with him and Ruby. "I know what I saw, Clance... and it felt like-"

"Everything you had known as falling apart for the first time?" He continued my thought. He was Orange... I can't hide my thoughts from him. 

I nodded. "Why Clancy? Why did you do that?" Clancy doesn't answer my question as quickly as I hoped he would. I repeat myself, making myself as loud and clear as I possibly could. "Clancy Gray... what are you not telling me?"

He refuses to look at me. "I can't tell you that."

"Why?"

"Because if I do..." he pauses to take a deep breath. "If I do, things between us might be different. You'll walk away from me once and for all and knowing you, there is nothing I can do to stop you."

I start twisting the ends of my hair with my index finger nervously. My insides were pulling my heart strings, and the pain it caused was a feeling I felt once before, but could not recall when. "Clancy..."

He looks up at me. "Yes?"

What I say is something unusual, but the discussion we had been secretly avoiding for as long as we remember was hung in the air. There was nothing we could say that we haven't heard our souls tell us before. 

I take in a deep breath as the words roll off my tongue, admitting to Clancy a truth I didn't know was real. "You're right... I would walk away no matter what. You can't control fire without the match, Clancy. You will be seeing things my way... you're going to see red."

His jaw tenses as he adds, "You're wrong, Amara." He gets up and begins to walk away from me. He opens the door as he concludes, "You can't be seeing red without seeing orange first." Then he shuts the door behind him, and I'm left in the darkness of our room. Alone.