The Fourth Baudelaire

THE VILE VILLAGE: part 3

After the fake arrest of Count Olaf that was actually a brave volunteer that I'm proud to call my family, by Officer Luciana that was actually Esme Squalor in disguise and the actual Count Olaf in disguise, who was calling himself Detective Dupin and talked almost always scattering, the Baudelaires and Quagmires found themselves in a situation that many of us have experienced probably at least one time in our life, it is that point when you don't know if you should cry or laugh. It usually represents the state of not being able to think of anything better that could solve whatever problem you're having and you're so desperate that you think of laughing to see if that way you can think of something. The children, decided that any of those were useful and as Jacques Snicket said, "I think I may need help after all." They thought of actually help him to break out of jail, so with Violet's amazing inventing abilities, Hector's tools and materials, and help from the others, by morning they had created a device to break Jacques out of jail. But before they went towards the town's police department, the same thing that had happened yesterday happened today, but this time it was three crows that had stopped on the porch to caw a melody that wasn't actually annoying, but the children still didn't understand what it meant, so they shrugged it off and were determined to save the brave but unlucky volunteer from a horrible death that was awaiting him in the stake.
Even though everything seemed to go fine when the children started hitting the wall with the        , something wasn't actually fine, and it makes me sad to say that even though the youngsters thought Jacques was in his cell alive and safe, they were completely mistaken. Because he nor was alive nor safe.
"Violet, we need to hurry." Duncan reminded Violet.
"I know..." Violet answered trying to work faster.
"Count Olaf has been murdered!" They heard Mrs Morrow said.
"What did she say?" The four of them asked flabbergasted.
"She said Count Olaf has been murdered!" Then Mr Poe yelled while running to the crow fountain that didn't have any water.
"What did they say?" They repeated still too shocked to actually process the information.
"They said... Count Olaf has been MURDERED." A murderous voice announced that the children recognized immediately as the actual Count Olaf's, which made them realize that their attempt to rescue Jacques Snicket had failed permanently.
They walked to the crow shaped fountain followed closely by Detective Dupin. There was already quite a crowd that were all looking as a coroner took Jacques' body with a white sheet on him.
"Silence in the crowd!" The council shouted exiting the city hall. "The council of elders has called this emergency meeting." One of the old women said.
"It is imperative that we discuss this most mysterious murder." The old man added.
"It is not imperative it is absolutely necessary." Officer Luciana shouted from behind the crowd.
"Imperative means absolutely necessary Esme." Klaus said annoyed to his friends.
"My name is not Esme, is Sarah Petunia Alexandra Maryellen. But as always you call me Officer Luciana." She said while standing on top of the crow fountain. "It is my duty to lock up prisoners in the Uptown jail and I make sure Jacques was safe in his cell last night." She slipped up.
"Who's Jacques?" One of the old women asked.
"Uhh, It is my nickname for Count Olaf." She stuttered and the children have each other a look.
"I have the only key to the jail so the murder is a mister." She ended.
"You're scadidilidoo right, old foes. But lucky for you I'm a peachy detective with a face for TV and I've already cracked this Popsicle case." He scattered his sentences.
"This is horrible. An innocent person is dead." Violet cried.
"I understand you're quite moved by these news Baudelaires and Quagmires, but you more than anyone should know that Count Omar was far from innocent." Mr Poe added trying to be helpful.
"Count Olaf." Klaus corrected Mr Poe, skeptically as always.
"You see even the name gives you shivers." He said trembling a little to give the effect.
"Except that wasn't the real Count Olaf. That was Jacques Snicket." Isadora explained and the crowd gave a shocked gasp.
"Detective Dupin is the real Count Olaf." Duncan pointed at the fake Detective.
"And Officer Luciana is Esme Squalor." Violet complemented him gaining another gasp from the crowd.
"They kidnapped the Quagmires, then they kidnapped my twin sister Camille and now they have murdered Jacques." Klaus expressed receiving once again a gasp of surprise.
"What? I'm a man of law, man." He defended himself with scatters. "In fact these kittens are pointing their fingers at me because they are... 100%..." he scattered. "The murderers..." he announced and received a loud gasp from the whole town.
"These Baudelaires and Quagmires cannot be murderers. They are children." Mr Poe defended them rotundly.
"Detective, you must have proof in these startling and handsome accusations." Esme continued with her fake accent, that was a sad attempt to copying an Italian police officer.
"Yes, it is not cool to accuse someone without any proof. Lucky for you I'm a great detective, and I have found some evidence." Detective Dupin scattered getting off the crow fountain.
He then scattered an annoying song about orphans that I shall not repeat because I have promised to myself since I encountered a small bully called Carmelita Spats that I will not write about songs insulting orphans, so after his song that was supposed to prove his point, he reached into Klaus' inside pocket and took out the blueprints of the Uptown jail.
"Blueprints.." he shouted and everyone gasped in reply. "That's what these children used to find a weak space in the wall, so they could use..." and he pointed at one of his associates that was pushing Violet's invention towards the crowded space. "What is that?"
"I think it's some kind of mechanical device." The person of indeterminate gender called followed by the collective gasp.
He explained how the youngsters used the machine to kill Jacques and everyone seemed very convinced, which leaves a lot to say about that small town.
"He's wrong." Klaus called and all the attention turned towards him.
"So these blueprints and mechanical device aren't yours?" One of the elders asked.
"They are. But we are not murderers." Violet defended.
"The spunky sister is right. These four aren't murderers." Detective Dupin kept on with his lie. "They're accomplices." As always the crowd's gasped followed.
"That means 'helpers of murderers'." Mr Poe quietly pointed out.
"We know what 'accomplice' means!" Klaus shouted losing his patience.
"Ok, calm down." Mr Poe muttered.
"What are you talking about?" The other elder asked in confusion.
"I'm talking about tooth marks on Count Olaf's body." He vaguely explained. "There's only one person so uncool as to bite someone to dead." He continued receiving a gasp for the umpteenth time.
"The murderer who murdered Count Olaf by murder is none under than Sunny Baudelaire!" He exclaimed and pointed at Sunny.
All the children looked confused as they've ever been and mostly Sunny was startled but in a funny way as to how is posible to believe a word he says.
"Moi?" She asked, a word which here means, "me?"
"That's not possible." Mr Poe intervened trying to be helpful. "I'll admit she has unusually sharp teeth but-"
"That's what I'm saying. She's a killer." The detective interrupted Mr Poe that was for once trying to be helpful. "A killer baby with deadly teeth."
"Our sister didn't bite anyone to death." Violet defended while squeezing Sunny's hand.
"Detective Dupin is lying." Duncan continued while squeezing Sunny's other hand.
"Sunny is practically a baby." Klaus defended being the logical person he is, also being in posses of common sense.
"A baby!" Detective Dupin said loudly but then trailed off. "With very sharp teeth, that left bite marks on the victim." He absurdly tried to explain.
"Detective, who don't we start by asking for an alpaca." Officer Luciana suggested and everyone seemed please but then realized what she actually said.
"Yes an..." Mr Poe started and trailed off confused.
"An alibi?" One of the henchpeople suggested.
"Yes." Count Olaf announce excited and Esme did the same. "Si, si an alibi."
"Baudelaires and Quagmires where were you last night?" One of the elders asked the children.
"We were at Hector's house." Violet answered with nods from the others.
"Well...well, I...See ." Hector started when everyone turned to look at him. "Hector please." Violet pleaded.
"We are waiting Hector." The elders demanded and he started breathing heavily. "No, no. Not again." Klaus and Isadora muttered.
"Oh no!" Duncan commented, but as soon as he did Hector stabilized himself and spoke clearly. "It's true! The children were with me. They're not murderers."
The elders then started interrogating him about the materials of Violet's invention since it was illegal to posses inventing materials. "Hector didn't do anything." Violet defended and Detective Dupin took his chance. "Trying to put an innocent cat into your bad vibes? That's low, man..."
"Silence! The evidence is clear." The old man shouted from the front. "We've adopted murderers."
"We can no longer serve as guardians for such terrible orphans." The woman next to him expressed in agreement, receiving nods from the agitated crowd.
"So, trial over." Officer Luciana recalled the attention. "I say we burn them at the stake!" She finished and everyone cheered in agreement as if burning children was the best hobby ever created.
"We are talking about children." Me Poe interrupted the excited cheers from VFD.
"I won't hesitate. They are murderers." The man next to Ms Morrow called and everyone backed him up.
"Hold on a minute." The elders called and everyone turned back to face them. "We can't just burn people at the stake whenever we want. We are civilized people." The old woman in the middle said and everyone grew serious for a second.
"How about after supper?" The woman next to her asked and she agreed. "Ok!" Then the cheers came back on, just as melancholic but sticky song would come up on the radio of a banker's car and he would start singing to it cheerfully not actually acknowledging the lack of joy in it.
"I'll keep these bloodthirstiers at the Uptown Jail." Dupin avance towards the children and they couldn't help but grew nervous with each step.
"We are not going with you!" Duncan chirped in talking in favor of all of them.
"Resisting arrest? Chiefie!" He said mockingly.
"We can do this the quiet way" She walked closer to them and spoke as Esme Squalor, "or it can get very noisy." She patted on her hand police stick.
"See you at the burning!" Count Olaf added and the whole town decided to retire and keep on going with their lives, while the children's problems had just started to get worse and worse with each second.
Mr Poe talked to them after they were jailed and he just ended up by saying he should have seen coming that with their troubled background, as many children, they would have ended up being criminals and that he blamed himself, which actually wasn't so inaccurate.
They all tried to explain to him what we all well-read people already know, they were innocent. They pleaded him to use both their gigantic fortunes to bail them out or to hire a lawyer but as he always answered, it wasn't possible since neither Violet or the Quagmires had come of age and the possibility seemed unlike to now.
"Why are you here then?" Klaus said helpless trying to understand why was he still bugging them since he wasn't going to help.
"Oh, I'm here to say goodbye." He announced, they couldn't react to do anything more than scoff, and with that last word he walked out of the jail. The children for the first time understanding they were on their own no and that Mr Poe was done messing with their lives and leaving them to solve his messes for good.

A/N: I'm so so sorry that I hadn't updated for almost two months ago. But i had been working on my other book "You are not a princess", a Kladora fan fiction that if you haven't start reading you should get right to it.
I put a lot of work in this book since my writing is a bit different from the other, since I need to use a more sophisticated vocabulary and English is not my first language. I also have to watch ASOUE every time I get to write it again which doesn't bother me but takes time. So again I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting, and I hope you like this chapter since in about two more we will be getting Camille back again.
Thanks for the support and thank you so much for 2K reads.
I love you guys and your feedback motivates me to update sooner.
I know this is long but there's many things I have to discuss with you. Would you like for me to publish a Peter Parker/Spider-Man fan-fic?  Comment...