we don't talk together

1 - Can't Sleep, Homesick

Yoongi POV
It's 3 AM and I'm still sitting in front of my built-in computer scrolling the anticipation of my recent song collab with a female singer. I have a concert today, day 2 in Osaka. I thought to myself, should I sleep tonight or just pass it on to the morning. My sane mind told me to at least close my eyes for some solid hours. Okay, let's see if these things work.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Damn.

No. It ain't working. I keep tossing and turning for numerous times. I usually had trouble sleeping, but tonight's just...different? I should've been fall into a sleep so easily since I've been working my ass off in today's concert. Yes, I do feel drained and stuff but I keep questioning myself why I still can't sleep. Feels like there's a train of thoughts running on my mind, but it's all blurry. Bet I gotta stop drinking to fix my brain at the moment.

The clocks keep ticking and my eyes still blinking. I can't believe it's 6 already and I gotta prep up to do another rehearsal and soundcheck at the venue. As I walk outside my hotel room, I see big doe eyes staring right at me.

"Hyung,  you alright?" Oh, it's just Jungkook. He's been wearing the same t-shirt and outer for two whole days. He said he washed it, but I don't believe it. "Yeah, what's wrong?" I exclaimed.

"I don't know you seem so drained and those red eyes tho..." He said while scrunching his nose while analyzing me closer. "Don't tell me you've been up all night?!" I ignore him and just walk away heading to my manager's room before I got myself kicked. "Shut up, we're late come on."

___________

We're on our way to the venue and I'm at the same car as Namjoon. This kid.
He keeps looking at his phone scrolling to God-knows-what and suddenly startling me. "Ah, your collab with Heize is coming out today, eh?" I should've slapped him for having me a mini heart attack.

"Oh, it's today? I guess yeah". Looking at my phone and checking the dates, I realize that song would eventually be released to the public. And he starts again.

"You know, I've been reading some of the lyrics. Did you write it?"

"Yeah, I write most of it. Why?" Namjoon's eyes widen, but he changes his face expression so fast I won't even catch it if I blinked.

"What's with the face?" I could feel my forehead wrinkling with the suspicion until he said things I don't wanna hear.

"Nothing, Hyung. It's just the lyrics kinda reminds me of the stories you've told me years ago. You know, about her..." Namjoon hesitates to finish it when he saw my face.

He doesn't even mention the details, no he doesn't; he stops himself until the words 'her'.

And that was the first time after a while, I feel it again. The one that I haven't felt for quite a while. The one that tingles your stomach, but punched your chest so hard. It was that moment when I realize, something that I've been buried and hide for so long, arise again.  I always thought I've burned it in the back of my mind. But after today, I guess I was wrong all the time. 

She never really leaves me.