we don't talk together

5 - To See Without The Eyes

Yoongi POV
8 years ago
After our encounter on that basketball field, I keep seeing her almost every time I spent my time there. Her highly-spirited self got me carried away and for a moment, I could forget my burden and pain that I'm feeling. It was the same feeling I got the first time Mom brought me that old brown vintage piano and cornered it at the back of the living room.

Unless this time, I was not being forced to like her, nor care for her. It was all happened too fast, too sudden. When I realize that this boy who usually feel numb and nothing, fell for her.

Falling for her was not a free fall. It's like she made me sure about this, just by looking at her sparkling eyes whenever she looked up at the sky. I do also believe in destiny. Our encounter was no coincidence. All of this was no coincidence.

As I think of all those things I said, she snapped her finger at me, "Yoon, yoongi!" I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah? What?"

She wanted to burst out in laughter but keeping it calm. Knowing I might screw up later if she ever caught me staring. Instead, she just smiled. "Nothing. I just need to go home, the sun's going down you know"

She's about to go. Damn. Damn. Calm. What am I going to do? The thing is, every time she said goodbye, there was this scaredy cat feeling I got of the thoughts that she's not going to come back. Think. Think. How to make sure she'd come and see me again. Think!

Then, I blurt out.

"Would you like to go stargazing tomorrow? Tonight, or whatever." I exclaimed. "I mean, I heard that this summer forecast has always been good at night so the sky's kinda clear, you know" I keep it cool as usual, not to sound too needy and demanding. Keep it cool, Yoongi.

"Hm...that's cool. I think tomorrow's night gonna be cool. I have a test tomorrow, so I can't make it tonight. Is that alright?" Yes. Yes! Of course, that's alright! Now, what? Think! Think again!

Right before she turned away, I'm half screaming. "Wait, how would I reach you?" Genius. That way she won't think I'm needy for her phone number.

She turned away. And walking back at me. Reaching out her right hand to me. I swear I almost grip it if I'm not conscious of what she meant by that. Instead, I put my phone and handed it to her. She started typing and handed it back to me.

"See you tomorrow, Friends!" She yelled at me while waving and jumping a little. Oh, Friends. She would not know that I'm gonna correct her choice of words. Watch me.

______________

Back to present days
Here I go again, back in my country. Camera's flashing lights shooting like lightning everywhere. I can't stand it, that's why I always wear a cap or a huge damn bucket hat. I still could see the way clearly even though it's covering my whole face, if you're asking.

Time passes by, and this time I went back to my own apartment. We got a short break, so I decided to not staying at the dorm. I need to clear my mind. I need to clear my mind from the thoughts of her.

That would be easy, I said to myself.

Namjoon POV
The moment Yoongi told me he needs time alone, I realize my fault. I know I might or might not have triggered him. I should've not brought that topic to him. Above everyone here, perhaps I'm the one who deeply knows that memories he tried to hide from these past years.

You see, Min Yoongi was the toughest human I've ever known. He's cold on the outside, might have cursed you or kill you a hundred times on his mind, but when it comes to love, he'd love deeply.

The thing is, I know almost the whole thing. At least, things he shared with me years ago before our debut. He needed to get rid of those thoughts, he said. And back then, before the other members exist, there was only me. So, he spilled everything to me.

I could tell that thing hurts him, no, hurts them. I know how it must've hurt so much to the point I teared up myself when he told me the stories. I wanna scream at them. For being so stupid. But again, he wanted to do it too. He wanted to go back to where it used to be, but he knows. God, he knows. Nothing's will change.

I could tell how much she made him happy. How she made him a better person than he'd ever been before. How she changes his way of seeing the world. How she would be the only one who could comfort him. How she made him fall for her a thousand times deeper and deeper. That young love, just like the other one, did not work out.

But there are these things I know.

In a nutshell, both of them cherished each other so well, so gently until my chest hurts to the thought of them separating. It was that kind of love everyone would've craved in life. It was a one in a million kinds of relationship a human would trade soul with to experience it even once in a lifetime. Because they saw each other beyond their own eyes.

And now I feel guilty to bringing up again the wounds he has been trying to recover for years, knowing well, now that he's bleeding again.