Without You

14. In My Life

Lindsey couldn't think clearly, too many emotions swirling around inside his head at the sight of Barbara and Jess frozen on the stoop. Barbara lifted her hand over her mouth, eyes pained and shocked. Even Jess's features were clouded with shame, though his eyes were sharper, wary of Lindsey's reaction. Before he could slam the door in their faces, he caught the sound of Stevie's hurried footfalls coming up behind him. The sheer panic on her face as she raced to the door beside him seemed to indicate she had remembered who could possibly be calling. Her wide eyes crossed between him and her parents, breathing labored from panic and exertion. Finally resting on him, her gaze pleaded with unspoken words he refused to hear. Sighing, she turned back to her parents who were observing the two of them with tentative curiosity.

"Mom, Dad, I um- didn't know you were coming tonight-"

"Well we called you last week TeeDee," Jess reminded none too gently.

"But you never said whe-" Before her mother could finish, Sara came running from the kitchen, not liking being left out.

Spaghetti sauce lightly smeared over her mouth, she looks between his and Stevie's legs before practically running out the door.

"Gamma Granpa!" She screeches happily, as the Nicks are quickly distracted by their sweet grandchild. As Jess lifts the tiny girl up into his arms, Barbara bestowing kisses as Sara giggles all the while, Lindsey understands true hatred. Hatred for these people that had lied to him with every breath, that would have left him to grieve all his life never knowing. He turned violently, reaching for his jacket, determined not to spend another minute in this house.

Stevie suddenly grasped his wrist in both hands, whispering earnestly, "Lindsey, I swear I didn't know it was them. I know what this must look like but I swear I didn't mean for this to happen." Turning back for the door silently, set to leave without a word, he caught the end of their conversation.

"Mhm and look! Daddy finally found us!" Stopping at her words, he found all eyes trained on him. Sara was grinning, eyes shining as she looked at him. She'd never called him that before. The Nicks were quiet, waiting. For his reaction, he supposed.

"Please," Stevie begged, hands squeezing tighter around his wrist.

"-gonna sing more songs at bedtime." His daughter finished, kicking to be put down before running over to grasp his pant leg.

Wiping the sauce covering her face onto his jeans, she looked up at him sweetly.

Faced with no other choice, he ran his fingers through her dark hair.

"Come on, let's go finish your dinner." Turning from the others without another glance, he led her back into the kitchen.

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While Stevie guided her parents to the guest room, their soft murmurs could be heard where Lindsey sat in the kitchen with Sara as she finished her pasta. They had hardly started dinner when the interruption occurred, Lindsey had already been almost halfway finished, starving from days spent almost constantly driving. But he couldn't bring himself to finish it, the rage and resentment twisting his stomach had put off his appetite.

Stevie rushed back into the room, setting some water to boil as the food intended for a dinner of three wouldn't be enough for their two additional guests. She poured the pasta into the steaming water before reaching for their own plates to reheat. The back of his neck prickled in what he could only assume were her eyes staring into his back. He ignored her entirely, choosing to watch their daughter as she obliviously went about eating her meal.

Of course, Sara had already finished by the time her grandparents joined them downstairs, and was playing quietly in the living room with Gypsy, as Lindsey had found her earlier this afternoon. Gazing at her, he remembered Stevie's words, realizing just how lonely his daughter must be. No siblings or neighborhood friends, no team sports or activities—she probably doesn't even know how to swim. So much of what characterized his own childhood was unavailable to her. Never leaving the house, left only with her mother for company. Lindsey knew just how difficult the woman could be, even within the bounds of human society. And, turning his attention back to their stilted conversation, the people responsible were sitting across the table.