Without You

15. Your Latest Trick

Lindsey slipped down the stairs, rubbing at the dried tear tracks lingering on his cheeks. Hearing clatter from the kitchen, he sat down on the final step of the staircase, trying to get himself together before rejoining the others.

Sara's words had pierced right through his heart. That she ever had to wonder. That she hadn't recognized his voice before she ever opened her eyes. That his ability to assure she would never doubt his love for her, before she was even born, had been stolen from him. 

Steeling himself with a breath, he he made to stand before the clarity of their voices stopped him in his tracks. They had finished clearing from dinner, and the lack of clanging dishes allowed their voices to carry. 

"...have you heard anything?" Stevie attempted to sound nonchalant. 

"Teedee..." Barbara started, her tone reticent but tinged with concern, "it's been years. And we weren't able to keep up with them after everything..." 

"I know, I know, it's just- sometimes I wonder what would have been. If I'd been able to bring him with us.

"I know, honey, but look at what's right in front of you. Lindsey's somehow here, despite everything. Isn't that enough?"

"It will be. I just- I guess I'll always wonder."

"And that's okay Teedee. Caring for him wasn't a crime, as long as you remember what you do have." Their words finally devolved into hushed pleasantries as mother and daughter wished each other goodnight. Jess must already be upstairs. Looking down, Lindsey realized his fists were clenched so tightly his nails had dug into his palms. 

He quickly stepped into the living room, avoiding Barbara's path upstairs as she exited the kitchen. As soon as she disappeared up the steps, he wasted no time, drawn into the room she recently departed.

Who the fuck were they talking about?  It obviously wasn't him, Barbara's use of his own name to distinguish made that very clear. Whoever it was, Stevie was certainly bereft of his presence. Was there another real  reason he hadn't been informed about her pregnancy? Had she been hoping to pass their daughter off as belonging to whatever beau she was caught up with at the time? The little girl looked just like him, but the jealous monster inside couldn't help but wonder. Was she even his? 

Stevie stood by the sink, humming as she finished drying the last few pans. The very picture of innocence. She turned to put away the cookware, eyes widening as she caught sight of him. 

"Oh, Lindsey, I didn't see you th-"

"You know, you really had me there." Her brow furrowed in confusion, movement stopping as she seemed to forget about the pan in her hand. 

"What? Is this about my parents? I'm so so sorry, but I honestly wasn't expecting them for another few days. If I'd known, I wouldn't have done that to you-"

"This isn't about your fucking parents. " Her eyes became hard at his disrespect.

"I know they hurt you, but I don't appreciate your speaking about my mother and father that way-"

"You know you and your mom should probably keep your voices down when you're talking about whatever fucking asshole you were planning to replace me with." Her lips moved, opening and closing, but his words had stopped her short.

"I- keep my voice down? What do you- I already told you I wouldn't replace you with Kim."

"-keeping my daughter from me is one thing, though don't for a second think you've been forgiven for that, but really, passing her off as somebody else's? I never would have dreamt you were capable of that. Even after all of this. Did all those years we spent together really mean so little to you?"