I'm into Insomniacs (discontinued)

A Room Full of Snakes

 The day couldn't have been going any worse. With Candy keeping a steady eye on me and Pacifica refusing to even acknowledge me, the blunt hostility was almost insulting. My eyes made periodic jabs in Pacifica's direction, trying to wage her thoughts through body language.

Her perky personality had swiftly died down, leaving her as a shell. She'd drift through the zoo, taking apathetic glances at penguins and lions and seals, only to slink away with a bored expression. I hissed lowly, cursing my own lack of action as her mood continued to sour.

Looking up, I saw the sun beaming high above us. It was noon. Her shift at the shack was supposed to start now, but she was still here. I bit my lip, hoping it was some kind of a sign. A sign that she hadn't completely given up on me, being that she had bothered to stick around. Maybe I still had a chance to come clean.

That is, if I could bring myself to do so.

"Omg! Yes!" Candy chirped, her eyes shooting towards the reptile exhibit. She tugged me along, Pacifica following behind out of instinct alone. I turned my head to catch a snippet of her ocean blue eyes, glossy and saddened, only for her attention to shift from me.

I could feel my heart strain, wanting nothing more than to break from Candy and pull her closer. This was absolute torture.

"You know, I hear there's this new exhibit for two headed snakes!" Candy squealed in amazement. I was slightly caught off guard by her bright demeanor, the way she lit up from the thought of snakes. It was almost sweet.

The way she beamed, clutching my arm in anticipation and wonder. For a moment, my opinion of her lifted just an inch, only to snap back in place. No. This was not the real Candy. I remembered the night she acted this way towards me, sweet and innocent. The night I let my guard down.

The night she raped me.

"I didn't know you had two heads." I sneered, cracking a grin. I could feel her grip tighten, her back straightening as my words seeped in. I questioned if the insult was worth pushing my luck, only to hear the faintest of giggles. 

My head rotated just slightly, seeing Pacifica's hand over her mouth as she tried to retain herself. She had laughed.

I froze for a moment, staring at her incredulously, only for Candy to yank me along.

"Let's just see the damn snakes." She hissed out, noticing the attention I was continually feeding Paz. But, of course I was. I wanted to feed her every bit of attention I could right then and there. For a moment, I found a desperation within me that clambered to worship and protect her.

I struggled to loosen my grip from Candy, only to remember myself. I couldn't let my emotions get the best of me. I had to be strong. Subtle. My struggling shut down in an instance, though Candy still gave me a bewildered expression.

We entered the exhibit, instantly caged in a box of heat and moisture.

"Ugh..." I groaned, wiping my damp brow. I hated snakes. Ever since I was little and my mother told me how the devil disguised himself as one to placate the downfall of humanity, I hated them. She always used to tell me that if I ever saw a snake, I should come to her so she could exorcist it. She was very religious, now that I think about it...

I shook the thought away, looking around the room in slight awe. It was dark, glass walls and boxes held in the light to display the zoo's prideful snakes. Candy continued to gawk.

"You know, not all snakes bite to kill. Some strangle their prey and swallow them whole. Their muscle network is incredible as well, considering they don't have any hands. They have to build up their body's strength to make up for the lack of thumbs, I suppose..." Candy pondered, leaning in to examine a reddish brown garden snake, simply there to remind viewers that not all snakes were ruthless killing machines.

Which I guess was true, but the one yapping nonstop about pythons and shit definitely was. I watched Candy, not letting her little act take me by surprise. There was no way I'd let it happen again.

"I think my favorite snake's the black mamba. What's yours?" Her glowing eyes met mine, and I had to force myself not to roll them.

"My favorite snake's right here." I responded in a loving tone, batting my eyelashes with a snarky grin. It took a moment for her to realize I was referring to her. Pacifica snickered again, much to my delight.

"Oh, you little goofball!" She responded playfully, squeezing my arm a bit too hard. "And you're my favorite bitch!" Her eyes were venomous, though she stood on her tippy toes to kiss my cheek all the same.

"Let's check out the anacondas next!" Was the only thing she said after, as if being called a snake was no big deal. But, then again, I'm sure she had heard it so many times it really wasn't a big deal. Not to her.

I growled at her tugging, feeling like a dog on a leash as she continued.

"Ooh! Fangs! Ooh! Scales! Ooh! Snakes!" I wanted to puke. I was sure she felt very at home with her cold blooded relatives. Once again, I looked behind me, seeing Pacifica's eyes locked on my shoulder blades. They snapped away once eye contact was met.

Damn it. I needed an opening to talk to her. I needed time away from Candy to explain the current situation. But, I also needed an alternate story. I couldn't tell her about the self harming, and I wasn't sure I could confess to Candy drugging me. I still got antsy when I remembered that night...

I shivered, forcing myself to calm down at Candy's close proximity. I became clammy, trying my best to force back the feeling the memory prompted. Failing miserably, a foreboding expression began to fall over me. She had used me. She had used me for her own gain, and it didn't matter that she was dangling something so personal above my head as extortion.

I bit into the side of my cheek, steadying myself as my brain began to fuzz. I couldn't do this here. I couldn't break down here. I could still get out of this, if I could just call for help without exposing myself. I just needed to explain this to Paz, then everything would be fine.

My eyes shuffled throughout the room, only to land on a gift shop. 

"Candy." I said simply, nudging her shoulder. 'Don't scream. Don't cry. Don't cut. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. That night happened weeks ago. You're fine. Stop being a baby.' Her snake-like eyes, slit and black, met mine with expectations and annoyance.

"What?" She asked, picking her nails.

I said nothing, simply nodding my head towards a large, gaping door just feet from her. A green door with black dots and cheekily drawn serpents met her gaze, children holding snake pens and expensive mugs prancing around on the other side. A gift shop.

"Oh shit, YES!" She gasped, her arm reflexively releasing me and she jogged into the corny little store, leaving us alone.