alive

introduction + the characters

recommend you read!

hey, this story has a bit of a heavier topic and i'm choosing to publish it because there's books out there that have bettered my understanding on mental health and now that it's a big part of society i think it's important people understand. i get frustrated a lot when my friends don't have the patience for a disorder i struggle to deal with and i don't believe it's because they're mean people, rather just ignorant on the topic (and i really appreciate the friends who try to make me feel better because i feel pathetic 90% of the time). in order to keep as accurate and un exaggerated as possible, i'm going to base it off my experience with a disorder in order to avoid misinformation. however, consider this a trigger warning for anyone sensitive to the topic of depression and manic depression. also this story isn't all about manic depression, it just is showing how it affects an individual and how much of one's life it sometimes can consume:) also it's nice not only to learn the symptoms and things, but for others out there who deal with similar things, it's reassuring, especially if you have nobody to talk to so hey i'm here!! plz just text me i'm very lonely and could use some internet friends.

i also ask nobody comments their opinions on how the character goes through depression or mood swings because it's different for everyone and i do not want to hear whether someone thinks it's realistic or not because it's an illness that already freaking sucks as it is and hearing everyone else's opinions are invalid. i've since learnt that i actually have bpd so the character will always display a lot of symptoms of bpd (borderline personality disorder). this story is based a lot on what i was going through while writing it, which was months of drinking and smoking daily, managing to hospitalize myself twice and many other things. nonetheless, the show must go on

oh and one more thing, each chapters is a reminder to the main character why he wants to be alive/ something the main character values in life. the names relate to the chapter as well.

chapters are labeled with triggers (for the most part) and can be skipped. mentions of suicide and self harm but no active attempts of either of these, only thoughts.

if i'm missing a trigger warning, comment to let me know
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this story also features gay content and if you're not into that then that's fine but this isn't for you, and if you're against that please just be get over yourself and leave:) also features gxg and transgender character(s) because this is the 21st century so woo!:D

if you're reading this, curious as to what you're getting into, i'll briefly explain. reid thompson loves science and struggles with depression. he used to be a soccer player so he decides to join the team where he can't seem to get along with the star player, ansel.

this story is a lot quicker then my others so if you prefer a slow going and relationship building kind of story, check out in fair verona, just pretend or buzzcut season! and if you'd prefer a story that focuses less on romance and more of an overall plot with gay characters, check out a pointless resistance. it's swords and queers and i mentally now live in that book bc i want a magic world, anyway

if anyone has read some of my other books y'all know i get bored and make moodboards so here's some: