The After Kingdom: UnOrdinary (Arlo x John)

Chapter 29

There was a notable difference in John's mood for the next following days. He didn't looked as stressed as he did, and a couple of times, Arlo have witnessed John smiling warmly.

It surprised him how happy he seems to be recently, and the fact that John didn't avoided him even after what happened between them.

The blond realized that John's happiness was actually quite simple, but the moment he gets hurt, it was hard for him to be happy again.

Arlo understood why it was hard for John to forgive before. People have constantly let him down-- Arlo included, and have made him believe that he wasn't worth anything at all.

John have been through a lot of things, and he was already really damaged, but seeing him smile like this...

It almost made him forgot about the things he should be worrying about.

The fact that they're digging info on John scares him, and he badly wanted to warn John about it, but could he really ruin that smile? If he told John about it, he would be scared. John tries his best to act unaffected but, Arlo could tell that he's already terrified enough.

John still had a lot of issues, and his mental health isn't really on the best condition. Arlo is slowly trying to help him, although it's hard, specially that John have been experiencing hallucinations due to his traumas.

Arlo knew he had to get a real professional help soon, but somehow, Arlo didn't knew how to bring it up.

The only time he really was with John were during mornings, during the nights, and not much time on weekends, since John mostly had shoots on those days.

Today was friday night, and he was sitting in front of John on the dining table, both of them eating silently.

He kept glancing at John, remembering the first time he've met him in Welston, and every encounter and arguements that they had six years ago. The blond failed to notice it earlier, but John have already displayed signs back then. His experiences after that just only made it worse, specially after what happened to his father and what he've done for a long time for his job.

Arlo was just an idiot, and he didn't really knew any better at that time.

But now, he really wanted to know John. He wanted to help him, understand him, protect him and be better than he was before.

"You've been staring at me." John noticed, his eyes focusing on Arlo's.

Somehow, whenever John looks at his eyes, he keeps remembering what they did, and Arlo couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed.

"It can't be helped since we're in front of each other." Arlo reasoned to him, proceeding to avert his gaze afterwards.

"I'm not dumb, I know when someone is purposely staring at me." John said,"Is there something wrong, Arlo?"

"There isn't anything wrong, it's just that..." Arlo looked at him again, "I just like staring at you..."

"What--"

John looked surprised, and although it wasn't that noticeable, his face was definitely red.

It was embarassing, and Arlo felt like wanting to swallow his words back. He wasn't really the type to flirt, and saying it to John made him feel more embarrassed. He haven't tried doing anything to John after their almost-sex before, he didn't even kissed the dark haired man again after that night, it was just talking, and holding each other every night.

John bit his lips, and his expression suddenly darkened, "But you said before that you don't like looking at me. You said I'm--"

"John, no!" the blond's voice was loud, "I'm sorry. I told you before, I didn't meant it... Why can't you just be normal?!"

Arlo realized how terrible his words are when he saw John's face.

It always comes back to this, John always remembers what Arlo have told him, and the blond always ends up saying a lot of terrible things that only hurts him even more.

And Arlo thought that it was getting better, but it really wasn't...

John looked upset and guilty now, and Arlo knew that it was somehow his fault. He couldn't understand what John was feeling, but he knew that John couldn't really control his thoughts, and Arlo haven't always been that good to him, so of course he'll remember. And now, he've just been a jerk. Telling John that he isn't normal.

It was silent after that, even after they've both finished eating.

However, after that, John approached him in the kitchen when Arlo went to pour himself a glass of water. It surprised him, because John suddenly hugged him and burried his face on his back.

"Sorry..." John said, "I know you didn't meant what you've said before. I'm just... I'm not good with this."

I'm not used with being treated like this.

He can feel John's hands trembling, and Arlo touched both of his hands, surrounding it with his warmth.

Arlo was just stressed with the authorities and some of the problems that he had. He thought that it would make John feel happier if he told him that he liked staring at him, or just seeing him, but he wasn't expecting it to do the opposite instead. He wanted to make him smile more, because somehow, seeing him smile is enough just to remove Arlo's stress.

It just went wrong and Arlo became slightly agitated.

"It's not really your fault." Arlo said to him, "I should've picked my words carefully."

The blond removed his hands from John's fingers, then, he turned towards John, kissing him on his forehead.

"I'm sorry for being like this." John's voice was unconfident, and he sounded ashamed of himself. He was looking down, avoiding those blue eyes.

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault-- please John..."

Arlo didn't say anything further, he just held him and stroked him on his back.

Both of them knew that there was something wrong with him, something wrong with John.

He already told Arlo about Arlo his hallucinations, so the blond knew it.

When he overheard his conversation at phone, it occured to him that Arlo probably saw him as someone harmful. Sometimes, Arlo worries about him too much, to the point that whenever he's going somewhere, the blond looked like he always wanted to follow.  It all made sense, and John wasn't really surprised, since he was afraid of himself too.

They didn't ended up talking about it again, but once they were at the bed that night, Arlo spoke, once he've realized that John wasn't asleep either.

"John? You don't have a shoot tomorrow right?" he asked, his voice sounding soft.

"Yeah... My shoot is on sunday this time." the dark haired man confirmed.

"Tomorrow, stay with me here whole day. I want to know more about you, John... "

The idea of staying with Arlo here felt safe on John's mind. He still wasn't sure if they were lovers now, but he doesn't need to know what the labels are.

Afterall, he could feel that Arlo loves him, and he knew that he loves him too.

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Hello!!! Sorry if I haven't updated for a longer period of time than usual, I got busy with our thesis and school works :(

Anyway, Happy 10k reads guys!! In two days, I would be publishing something  special for the 30th chapter!!

Thank you for those who've read, commented, voted and supported my work! None of this would be possible without all of you out there! ❤️

-Pleasant_illusion