The After Kingdom: UnOrdinary (Arlo x John)

Chapter 25

This was different compared when John have kissed him before, and it was different than during that time when their lips have brushed when John was asleep.

It was too much, it was definitely too much. Arlo's heart was throbbing so fast and he couldn't think of anything else.

John's lips were so soft, and the way he kissed back made Arlo want for more.

It was just a single kiss, delicate, and passionate, yet the way it affected him was indescribable.

When he pulled away, John looked at him, his eyes dilated, his expression soft. Arlo wanted to kiss him again, and he wanted to touch him, to feel him and...

A part of Arlo wonders if John was like this to those men he've kissed before, to those he've slept with before. Did they felt like this too? Or, did John's lips meant nothing to them but amusement?

Maybe, this kiss shouldn't have happened, because Arlo still haven't even told him what he've felt, and he still haven't done anything to really help John.

After this... What would happen to them? John might avoid him after this, and Arlo doesn't want that.

Why was he an idiot? Why did he have to kiss John? He could have stopped himself, yet he didn't.

"John..." Arlo's hands were still on the dark haired man's arms and his cheeks, he gently removes them, looking away.

"Does this mean anything... Arlo?" John asked him, sounding unsure.

"Yes." the blond replied, "This means something."

Arlo turned his head to face him again. John was looking at him, like he was waiting for Arlo to make a move. John appeared puzzled, and he kept staring. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he was just waiting, and it occured to the blond that John might be confused.

"John?" he grabbed John's left hand, and he started moving his thumb on the dark haired man's palm.

The action seemed to alarmed John, making him pull his hand away, his expression suddenly terrified.

What's happening to John?

"Are you okay?" the blond asked him.

Soon enough, John was covering both of his ears, and he was shaking his head from left to right. His eyes were wide, and his fingers were gripping on his hair in a way that it looked like it hurt. He was trembling, and Arlo felt scared.

"John!" Arlo extended his hand, trying to touch John's forearm.

The dark haired man shoved the blond's hand, but Arlo attempted to hold him again.

"John calm down!!" he yelled, pulling John in a swift motion as he wrapped himself on him, his hand placed John's head, and his other hand on John's waist.

His words seemed to have made John calmed down a bit. He wasn't trembling now, and instead, he was burying his face on Arlo's chest.

"Help me, Arlo..." John's voice sounded weak, and the blond felt his nails digging on his back.

It was the first time that John gave up on his self, it was the first time that he've really asked for his help.

He wasn't fine, and Arlo can see that. John was losing his mind, and it scared him. But still, he wanted to help John-- he wanted to save him.

When John looked up, Arlo planted another kiss on his lips. This time, John didn't asked.

He told him to rest, and assured him that it would be fine, that he would help him, that he would fix him. Arlo tried his best to brighten him up after what happened. To make him forget about their exhausting questions about John, and about his 'breakdown' in front of Arlo after their kiss.

He played a movie for John to watch, and have prepared him a mango shake to drink. He sat beside John on the couch almost the whole time, and at some point, he held his hands.

Arlo was sure of what he've felt, but he doesn't know what John felt for him. But right now, Arlo doesn't care. He'll make John happy, he'll help him get up, and he'll make him feel safe.

When it turned dark, Arlo took him outside.
They ate at a simple restaurant, and after that, they just around, gazing at the city lights.

John was still silent just like before, but Arlo tried. He kept trying to make John open up to him, but not in a way that would make him uncomfortable.

Arlo have brought up about their past in Wellston, and it may seem like a dangerous territory, but he realized that John doesn't really considered his memories at Wellston to be 'bad', and Arlo still felt terrible about what he've done.

"We kept on bumping at each other a lot before." Arlo recalled.

John raised his eyebrows, "You said you facilitated it. Each and every single meeting we had, you told me it was fake."

"It was a lie." Arlo admitted, "I wanted to rile you up, I wanted to see what you're capable off... I'm sorry."

Although they had a terrible past between them, Arlo wanted to apologize for it, for real.

Not like the apology he gave him when John was starting to attack high rankers.

"And what did it do, Arlo?" John asked, "I was hurt. I was hurt when you betrayed me. I saw you as a friend, and I saw you..." he paused, "It hurts knowing that you hated me when I thought we could have been friends, when I thought you're different, that you saw me beyond my rankings."

Arlo bit his lips. He felt guilty, because he was one the reason why John found it hard to trust. He was also one of the reason why John still kept shutting himself down.

"I didn't really knew any better at that time." the blond said, "After what happened when Rei was a king, I thought that order would fix everything, that it would prevent everyone from getting hurt. But it didn't immediately crossed my mind that I was hurting you... And when it did, it was already too late."

"I felt like a monster." John looked down, "And up until now, I still do, but that wasn't just because of it."

"There were times when, everything haunts me in my dreams, and there were times when I just couldn't sleep."

Arlo was aware of some of the things that John have done, and he knew that John was damaged. But now, Arlo understand why John have been hoding a bottle of pills, and why John moved to his bed mostly at night.

"But if you didn't found me... Until now, I would still be stripping for money, I would still be doing sexual favors and would be sleeping with different men."

"Thank you, Arlo..."

Although John was thankful of Arlo, deep inside, he wanted to punish himself. He didn't felt like he deserved it, he didn't felt like he deserved Arlo, and Arlo's help but, he really wanted to change. He really wanted Arlo, he wanted to be happy and, he wanted his father to wake up...

John knew he had hallucinations, but most of the times, he couldn't even tell which of them were real, or which of them weren't. He wanted to be normal, and he wished he doesn't see it, feel it and he wish he could be fixed.