The After Kingdom: UnOrdinary (Arlo x John)

Chapter 18

Sometimes, John wondered why Arlo was still helping him. Despite the way he acted towards the blond and even after knowing all of the terrible things that John did, Arlo still remained, pulling him back whenever he tried to push Arlo away.

Arlo said he had feelings for John, yet somehow, John couldn't help but think if it was just pity, or if it was just guilt.

John have showed his tears again to the blond, and just like before... He comforted him, held him and... Made him feel safe and secure.

That night after he brought him to his father, he felt Arlo's lips on his forehead when the blond thought that he was finally asleep. He felt his fingers touching his cheeks, and a few strands of hair brushing against his forehead. Their noses were touching, and he can almost feel Arlo's lips.

He was sure that Arlo was going to kiss him, but when their lips were about to touch, the blond stopped, pulling away and motioning his fingers to stroke John's hair instead.

Why did he stopped? Did Arlo changed his mind? Was he disgusted afterall?

He remembered how Arlo have pushed him when he kissed him during their arguement, he remembered everything that Arlo have said, and how he looked at him as if he was filth.

It hurted John more than it should have. He felt more disgusted with himself, and he felt scared. After that, Arlo still looked for him, he showed him kindness made John feel as if he could change his life.

And now, he was living together with him, and John felt like he shouldn't have agreed in the first place.

John doesn't deserve to have anyone. He'll only hurt them, just like how he've hurt those who've cared for him, just like how he've hurt his father. He deserves being screwed over and over again, he deserves to have men looking down on him, humiliating him and... Why did Arlo made him want to change?

He knew that even if he did find two jobs, it still wouldn't be enough to sustain and pay for his father's bills. He realized that he was being delusional, forcing himself to sleep with someone again when he've failed to find a second job.

But after he've cried, made a fool of himself, and revealed how terrible he was, Arlo still comforted him, held him and made him stay.

He helped him finding a job, even contacting Sera just so he could have an opportunity.

Still, he didn't know if he could trust Arlo again. The blond also helped him before... Yet he ended up betraying him. He kept reminding himself that, but it was just so easy to forget, especially after seeing how far Arlo was willing to go just to help him. John hoped that everything was true, but at the same time, he hoped that it was just an act because John didn't deserve to have someone caring for him.

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Seraphina thought that John needed help. Although he smiles and acts like everything is fine, and even if he presents himself with confidence and optimism, she knew that John was a far cry from how he acted around her.

She wasn't really surprised by it, considering how rough John have been through, and how John doesn't want anyone worrying about him. Back when they were at Wellston, John had always been like that.

Although she may not have seen him for three years, she can still tell wheter what he's showing is genuine or not, since John was her friend, and after all those years... He still haven't changed.

If there's someone who've changed, it was Arlo. He's been expressing a lot of concern towards John, and he've matured a lot, being more tolerable than before.

She was grateful for him about telling him about John, making her see her friend again. There's a lot of question why Arlo have changed a lot, or why he's possibly doing this. Still, she was glad about this change, because she felt like Arlo really was sincere towards helping John.

"Sera! Are you done now?" the dark haired man asked ber.

"Yes, I'll just buy both of them. Both of these heels are designer brands."

"Really? They don't look much different from any regular heels. I think you could get a similar looking pair for a cheaper price."

John didn't really like going to malls, and he couldn't understand why women takes a lot of time deciding what to buy. But everytime Sera wanted to go, he usually couldn't refuse her, even from before.

"It's different, look at the texture and their beadworks."

"Yeah, I guess it is..." John couldn't really tell the difference, but he agreed anyway.

After that, they headed to pay in the cashier. Seraphina have bought a lot of clothes, shoes and bags, while John only bought a pair of shorts. Seraphina also bought him a jacket, surprising John when they pay at the cashier. John refused on taking it, but Seraphina said that it's a gift for all of his birthdays she've missed, so in the end, he ended up taking it. Since Seraphina was famous, a lot were staring at them, but no one really approaches her and John.

Before they were about to leave, Seraphina decided to discuss something.

"Hey, John." Seraphina spoke, "Where did you went with Arlo yesterday?"

"Yesterday? Uh, just somewhere near, Arlo had to claim something." John lied.

Whenever John lies, it was usually hard to tell. But right now, Seraphina could see through it very easily.

"You seem to have gotten close, and it looks like he've changed as well. " she said, "Why didn't you brought him here?"

"He might be busy, I don't really want to bother him. He's done a lot already, he needs some rest."

"John, can you promise me something?"

"What is it Sera?" John was curious.

"Promise me that you'll answer this honestly," Seraphina didn't really know if she should bring this topic up, "Is there something between you and Arlo?"

"What?"

John looked surprised to hear her question.

"Are you serious?"

Seraphina didn't said anything. She kept staring at him, waiting for a reply. Eventually, John spoke.

"No, there's nothing between us..." John denied.

Seraphina saw how much Arlo cared towards him, and how the blond gazed at John when the dark haired man wasn't looking. John sometimes stare at him too, but not as much as Arlo does. He doesn't appear to be lying but... Seraphina refuses to believe that there really was nothing.

"But do you like him, John?"

John doesn't want to lie on his friend, but he really doesn't know how to answer her. He might be developing feelings for the blond, but John have liked Seraphina before. He realized that he likes her in their final year at Wellston, he've liked her for three years, but he've never really told her.

It was one of the reasons why John couldn't face her after his father's accident. He couldn't allow Seraphina to hate him, and he knew that he doesn't deserve her. He gave her up after everything, and thought that he wouldn't like someone else ever again, and that no one should care and would care for him.

But Arlo did. He made him feel things, things that he didn't felt when he thought he liked Sera. It wasn't the same type of feeling, and John would just be lying to himself if he denied that he doesn't want Arlo.

"I want him, Sera..."

But I don't deseve him.