Caught [l.s] (boyxboy)

IM Guilty

hi guys.

just so you know if i randomly disappear within the next week, i'm really really considering taking a break from wattpad. just for a few days. too much drama going on in my life rn, i just kinda wanna be left alone, you feel? i love you though and i'd miss writing a ton, so i don't know if i even will. i just don't want anyone to think i dIED or some shit

my ranks have been plummeting, probably because of my shitty update schedule, so i'm here to make a deal with you guys. the more feedback i receive, the faster the update. i typically get 100 to 200 comments per chapter if its full length and not private. if you can get that within a day or two, the next update will come within a day or two. if you can get that within three or four days, the next update will come in three or four days. now, obviously, if it's been like a week and the numbers just aren't there, i'm not going to be a bitch and never update again. i just want to make sure that everyone is still there and still enjoying the story.

and tori wanted me to let everyone know that she is officially the bae and tomily (if you ship it i'll probably love you forever???) is v real. 

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"I'm really sorry about your friend."

Louis sips his cold and suspiciously fizzy (he swears he ordered an iced tea) beverage as he adverts his eyes down to the tiled floor of the diner.  His legs are crossed and his foot is bouncing in time with a silent beat as he inhales swiftly and leans across the table. "Well, 's alright. Not like it's your fault."

"But it still sucks to lose somebody that you care about," Lucas replies, sifting through the small container of various packs of sweetener. Louis smiles to himself as he pushes the basket away and blinks sheepishly over at Louis. "Like, erm. Me mum died a couple years back. Was hard, y'know."

"Yeah." Louis shakes his head. "You know, you didn't have to drive all the way out here just to see me."

"I wanted to." Lucas rests a hand on top of Louis' gently. Louis knows it was only meant to comfort him, but he still finds himself sliding his own hand out from underneath the other carefully and then playing it off as having to tie his shoe just to spare the other boy's feelings. The memory of Harry's touch still lingered in his skin. "I mean, it must be difficult. Makin' friends and whatnot. I just wanted to check up on you. Grief does things to people."

"My grieving was short lived," Louis shrugs. "You live a little, you lose a little. You gain a little. Or a lot. Y'know, it's not even that big of a deal, really. I'm not sad anymore. What's the point in being sad anyway?"

"Like, 's just hard to be strong all the time," Lucas stresses. He plucks a handful of greasy chips from the basket and quite literally shoves it in his mouth (Louis pretends not to notice) as he shakes his head.

"It's hard to be anything all the time. It's hard to be brave all the time. It's hard to be nice all the time. It's hard to be okay all the time." Louis frowns. "Actually, maybe it's impossible." 

"Nothing is impossible, that's what I say!" 

"You're not fooling anybody. Not even yourself." Louis pushes the chips closer to Lucas, who's making grabby hands at it. In all honesty, he doesn't feel like eating. Especially not now.

"Why are you so negative about it? I thought you were fine now?" Lucas questions. His tongue flicks out to lick across his bottom lip and briefly lingers to toy with the small lipring poking from his pout. Louis swallows heavily when Lucas' foot bumps into his own. He really just wants to go back home to Harry, if he's being honest. Sweet, sweet Harry and his warm hugs and his amazingly good smelling aftershave. A hot cuppa wouldn't be too much of a bad thing either; maybe even a handie, if he's lucky. All of this is wiped from his brain, however, when Lucas snaps his fingers in front of his face. "Louis?"

"Huh?" Followed by: "Oh. Um.. I am fine. 's just. I dunno. I do miss her, if I'm being honest. She was a proper friend. I don't have many proper friends. I mean, I have Zayn, but we haven't spoken in ages. And Liam and Niall, they're great, but they're off doing their own thing, and then Harry.."

"What about Harry?" Louis doesn't reply. "For some reason, I get the feeling that he doesn't like me."

"Funny story, actually-"

"And I can't imagine why! I mean, if anything, he should be trying to help me out here." Louis blinks dumbly at Lucas as he continues. "Isn't it obvious to him? You're gay and single, I'm gay and single.."

"I think you're getting the wrong message, pal," Louis stutters. The small booth they're both tucked into suddenly feels about fifty times tinier. 

"Am I?" Lucas stands up. Louis is already one step ahead, however.

"I have to take a wee," he blurts. "Um. Excuse me." Because Lucas won't fucking move, and they both know Louis doesn't actually have to go to the bathroom. Louis suddenly wishes that the diner wasn't so remote and that the paparazzi or some fans would just materialize somehow and trample the other lad in a sea of flashing cameras and grabby hands. 

"You and I both know that's not the truth," but Lucas doesn't seem to get it, is the thing. He's following Louis back to the bathroom, and he reaches out to stop the door from slamming in his face when Louis stumbles into the single stalled room (God fucking dammit, why did it have to be single stalled?). "If you wanted this, you should have just said so."

"I don't want anything," Louis warns. but his back is pressed against the wall and Lucas is too close for comfort suddenly - it's too much. He exhales and tries to look everywhere but Lucas and his fucking brown eyes that look like seas of melted chocolate. 

"You don't have to deny it." Is this even the same Lucas Louis met back at the market? It certainly doesn't seem like it. If he didn't smell so strongly of cologne, Louis would swear this was all a horrible nightmare.

"I'm not. I'm not in-" Louis is cut off by the press of Lucas' mouth against his. His breath hitches and his hands float up to Lucas' shoulders to push him away. Lucas, though, seems to take Louis' response as a positive one, so his arms come up to bracket Louis as he practically snogs him into the wall. 

Louis finally manages to push Lucas away long enough to let out a breathy "Get the fuck off of me." and Lucas immediately takes a step back. Louis needs him to take about a thousand more.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Christ," Louis huffs, pushing past Lucas and walking away from him quickly; he can hear Lucas following behind him and apologizing weakly, but he really doesn't care.