Caught [l.s] (boyxboy)

IM Leaving

hello hello friends

i hope you had a lovely thanksgiving if you celebrate it and that you're enjoying your break. i'm asking that we try to get this to 300 votes before the next update. my votes have been staggering a bit lately and it only takes a second, honestly, it makes such a huge difference.

this book is ending in about 15 chapters. that makes me very sad. i'm not sure what my main focus will be when this is over.. i have lots of stories i could use. i'm thinking baby lips will stay a once-a-week kind of thing. i have some ideas but in order for it to be my main fic i really need to be into the plot.. i don't know. but anyway, i'm trying really hard to make these climax chapters count so my updates have been slow but hopefully the content pays off for it?

prepare for a shit ton of dialogue oops

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"News. We have some. I have some."

"News?" Louis squints at his screen. "What sort of news?"

"I haven't got a clue." Liam bats Louis' hand away, shaking his head morosely. "I wasn't clued into anything new. But, he just tweeted it, so-"

"Can you call him?" Louis asks. His voice does not show any emotion, he'll have you know; he is fine. It's been an entire week since the conversation with Zayn, and Louis finds himself handling the entire situation becomingly. Harry doesn't speak to Louis, Louis doesn't speak to Harry. The flat remains locked. He hopes. Liam offers up his couch to Louis every night, which is grand, and Louis' made the best of it all. He has what he needs, after all. Stability. A kind smile, an umbrella when it's raining outside. A hug. A hand to hold. A shoulder to lean on. 

Liam shakes his head again with a heavy suspire and a frown. "I don't think that's such a good idea, mate."

"I disagree." Louis sniffs in spite of himself, biting his lip. "I think it's a marvelous idea."

"I'm sure we'll find out what's going on with him soon enough-"

"No." Louis huffs in frustration, because, well. Goddammit. "I'm always the first one to know when Harry decides something. That's the way it is, and I'm not going to let this... this thing, this thing can't ruin that."

"It's not just this, Louis. What's going on between the two of you has been building up over time." Except, no, Louis can't accept that kind of response right now. He stands up, tugging on a strand of his fringe angrily, and begins to pace. 

"I hope he's alright," he admits soundlessly. 

"I'm sure he is."

"You don't know that." Louis digs his own phone out of his back pocket. "I thought everything was okay before. I was wrong. I've learned that with Harry, it's never safe to jump to conclusions. I'm going to call him right now and - we're going to talk. About this. About all of this. Silence never did anyone any good."

Liam does nothing to stop Louis, much to his surprise, but he watches with a weary expression as Louis lifts the small device to his ear, taking the skin of his lower lip between his teeth. It goes straight to voicemail. 

Embittered, Louis tries again. And again. And again. "Fucking hell, Harry, pick up the phone."

"Maybe he doesn't want-"

"I don't give a damn what he wants," Louis barks. "Not anymore. It's always about what Harry wants. What Harry expects. What Harry deserves. You know what I deserve? Answers. And I'm going to get them."

Liam hangs his head. "Louis."

"Would you stop looking at me like I'm a puppy that's just been kicked? I can't take your sympathy right now, I'm sorry, but I don't want it. I don't want people to help me try to get over him, I want people to help me get him back. He's not lost. He's right there," Louis signals toward the empty air for emphasis, though it does him no good in the effort of proving his point, "and I just. Can't let this all slip through my fingers. Right now might be the only chance I have to try to fix this before it crumbles."

The other boy is quiet for a few seconds before he responds, and when he does so, it's clipped and guarded. "Doesn't it ever bother you that he leaves you so much? Why do you continue to take him back if all he does is cause you pain? You.. it seems like you two are constantly trying to take care of each other instead of enjoying your time together. To fix each other, except, you're not even broken. You weren't broken until you met each other."

"It doesn't bother me when he leaves." Louis swallows dryly, exhaling shakily. "Because he always comes back."

"But it's like a notch in the belt everytime something happens." Liam seems lost, thoughtful; engrossed. "Like it's all piling up and one day you'll wonder why you wasted all this time."

"It's not a waste. Even if I regret this choice five years from now, it will not have been a waste. There's a point behind all of this, and that point is a real person. With feelings." Louis tries to dial Harry's number again. When he fails to come in contact with him, his shoulders sag and he mumbles something about giving up as he slumps down into the nearest armchair. "Feelings that I'm not sure I understand anymore."

"Harry is like a flower," Liam blurts. Louis is almost sure he's misheard him. 

"Excuse me?" Because, well. What the hell? Louis shakes his head in bewilderment, biting back a snort. 

"He's like a flower. He needs constant attention. If you don't give in to that, well. He'll wither. Dry out. Break. But if you nurture, support, and... well, you get what I mean. If you do that, he'll flourish. And then, when he feels okay again, he won't need you. And you can sit back and look at the work you've done."

"We aren't supposed to be so dependent on each other that we can't stand to be ourselves if something feels off," Louis argues, blinking past Liam's metaphors and trying to clear his head. "That's... relationships aren't meant to be support groups."

"Are you saying that you don't feel like you need to be there for him when he needs you?"

"No! No, Jesus, of course not. I just... I don't know if I'm ready to be someone's everything. Do you know how immensely terrifying that amount of pressure is? Every time I mess up, it hurts him, and that hurts me. Because I know I will mess up. It's bound to happen whether I like it or not." Louis opens his mouth to continue onward, but his phone begins to buzz indignantly from his pocket.

He knows the ringtone. 

His fingers slide against it clumsily as he tries to get a grip on the fucking thing, answering the call before he even gets a chance to catch his breath, "Hello?"

"Hi." Harry sounds so dispassionate that it immediately discourages Louis, who slumps back into his former position. 

"Um.. hey." Hey. Hey? You haven't spoken in weeks and you say 'hey'?

"How you holding up, mate?" Mate. Louis wants to implode. "Have something to uh, to tell you."

"Get on with it, then." Louis choose to ignore the first part of Harry's dialogue.

Harry takes a breath. Louis holds his. "It's about the band." Louis' eyebrows lift in surprise. 

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Well. More about me. But... also the band. Ah, I'm just. Gonna come out and say it. Hear me out, Lou, promise me you'll hear me out."

"I can't promise that because you're scaring me." Harry chuckles meekly on the other end. It sort of kind of maybe warms Louis' heart just a tad. "But I agree to.. try."

"Alright."

"Okay."

"I.. okay."

"Okay." Louis closes his eyes.

"I'm leaving the band, Louis."

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QOTC time!!!

Q: What's your favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving?

A: stuffing. stuffing is the ultimate fave.

see you on wednesday or thursday, babes :* please do vote and comment, i love you guys.