The Bibble

Chapter 4: I am going to write a book.

God looked down to earth from his room, and didn't see anything of interest. He thought of calling some angels to his bed, but he had already done that before. He thought of drinking that alcoholic drink, but he'd grown tired of it. For the second time, he'd grown...

"BORED! I'm bored. Angel!"

A bunch of angels showed up.

"Why did you all show up? Ugh, I need to start naming you angels. You there! Yeah you, come here."

The angel slowly walked up to God.

"I am bored and I need to do something. Give me some ideas."

The angel didn't say anything for a while. He stood there thinking, if I said something wrong, what will God do? Will he vanish me to hell? Think, damn it, think!

"M...maybe you could write something," the angels finally said.

God looked at the angel for five minutes. The angel didn't move a muscle. Then God's eyes widened, and he grabbed the angels by his shoulders

"That is a great idea! So good, in fact I must've given it to you. No, I did give you the idea. You angels cannot come up with a good idea if not from me! So good job me, I am so perfect. Now everyone leave, I must start writing immediately!"

"But sir..." The angel tried to protest.

"SIR? MY NAME IS GOD!" God's wrath shook heaven, "you can only call me GOD! Or My Lord, God or Lord, or anything that praises me. Do you see me as a sir? Now leave!"

The angels straddled out of the room.

"Hmm, how should I start this amazing and perfect story of mine I wonder?"

He wrote the first sentence.

"I am God and I am great. I am better than everyone...."

Brilliant! I shall show this to...to...who can I show this to? The angels will agree. Adam and Eve are too stupid. Ah...him.

Lucifer sat at his desk in hell, trying to create demons. He had failed over and over, but he was getting close. Suddenly, he was moved from hell, and ended up in the worst place possible, God's office

"Satan! Welcome, welcome. How long has it been?"

"Not long enough." Lucifer replied stoically.

"HAHAHA...I don't care. You are here to hear some news. I am going to write a book." God excitedly told Lucifer.

"Ok."

"What do you think huh? Isn't that a brilliant idea? Of course it's a brilliant idea, I had the idea, so it's a good idea." God said.

"I didn't know you could read, let alone write."

"Here's something I wrote! Let me know how it is." God said with a creepy smile.

Lucifer read the sentence, and almost threw up out of sheer disgust of what he read.

"What is this crime against the universe you've concocted?"

"It's my book! I consider this a masterpiece ready to be read by everyone in heaven and earth."

"Thank fuck hell doesn't have to see any of this," Lucifer said as he let out a sigh of relief, "if this qualifies as a book then I must be living in the worst timeline."

God started thinking. He couldn't completely dismiss what Lucifer had said. It's just one sentence, I could do better...oh!

"I have an even better idea! Why don't I make the humans write the book for me? Yes, that's even better. I don't do any of the work but I still take all the credit. Brilliant stuff, don't you agree? Then, everyone will follow everything I say without question!"