A Romantic Vision

Light of Graves

The amber sky hushed the winds, for Timur was sad when he left. No greetings were exchanged, he was as quiet as a cloudless afternoon. I softly embraced him but the detachment from his cold chest was baring.
I would forgive Awan for reminding him of the pain. Timur has still not faced his grief, who could his father was such a humble soul...

"you are so stupid, Awan! Do you understand how worried I am about him!
He lost his father, Awan, you do not even know how it terrible I---"

"I know" he rubs his arm "I know how terrible it is to lose your father"

I sat on the ground I sunk my head to the floor. " I am sorry Awan. I am worried about him. I did not mean to hurt you"

"you must be careful Miss. I was just helping him" he sits next to me.
"but he is gone now" I repent.

He hands me the lily.

The amber sky turned a feverish mauve. The winds turned harsh. I was indoors gasping at the sudden change in weather. Opening and shutting windows. Marveling and admiring then shaking and frightened.
I walked to see both my parents seated together but solitude residing evidently with each of them. Mrs. Hameeda scraping up the last meal with much conviction. I stared at the other Mansion. Awan?

The night did not bring Awan but loud thunders and rude showers. The rain accompanied hailstroms and all was vaguely dark.
I ate dinner with my eyes fixed on the little fence of Awan's house.
A bright yellow headlight coloured the fence and then two vintage cars parked themselves before the lily adorned garden.
I had never seen any visits to the dull mansion beofre. I could not understand the figures descending the car.
I was disturbed by the lightning.

The whole house after an hour was bright as it has never been before. Like someone dusted it with gold,the lights from the houses glistened my garden but the ambiguity scared me. It was strange to see Awans beautifully dark garden so bright and white.

I spend the entire night speculating the newly arrived guests but i could not spot one face. When the morning touched my cheek I rose up straight to the window and saw the house splendid. Something in me was shrinking, maybe I preferred to stay in the sad aura of the strange man. The day went with by slowly, the restlessness and curiosity covered the undermining insecurity. I lurked in the shadow of the small fence but dared go in. I furnished myself over and over in a hope that Awan would make a visit or perhaps invite me.

Nothing happened for a span of four days, I wished something would but all was quiet and replenished in the neighborhood which an abhorr, oh I abhor with all my heart.
The creamy soup foam in the bowl circled, the sound of breath and fork and knives. Nobody speaks, why does nobody speak?

"did Timur call Mother?" I asked withholding mine jealously for mine own mother.

"oh yes, he did. He reached safely. However, Anne is not very well, he was worried" she said with no amusement.

I worried about Anne, Timur must be feeling terrible.
I feel terrible.....

I stared across the window, the curtains were drawn so politely to keep me out.
The oddity of this moment made it all ring so loudly in me. I am in love with Awan or do I need him just to give him this pain so I wouldn't feel it as much?

The footsteps approached and turned in anticipation and it was the man who cannot stop smiling.

I smiled, he smiled.

I ate but my tears weren't ready to wait. I did not know why but I cried throughout my meal. My parents did not notice and I was certain they could not help.
I caught Awan's arm and dragged him to the garden.

"can you explain why you disappear without a warning?" I could cry to him, it was so comfortable.

" Why do you cry Miss!?" he is surprised.
"you are such a waste to need Awan!" I wiped away the tears.
He wasn't pleased to hear that. He sat on the stone bench.
His hands entwined "I had so much to do miss" he complained.

I was nearing the end of confession-but would he hear it without me speaking?

He smiled "I can compensate, if you would allow me to?" I escaped the traumatic stance and took a place beside him.

"Awan I wanted to confess something...." I spoke cautiously like my words were made of glass,like they would break down into shards if I do not collect them carefully,like it would harm us or myself alone...

His gorgeous smile disappeared into a sudden ghost.

I held his fingers,they were cold... I held my breath, as I went to let it all out ...he stood up abruptly.

We both were on our feet breathing heavily. It was evident he could understand,I was still miserable on my part have being not said it. He pushed a smile forward like an apology... "Oh miss ...don't say it''

I returned him the same smile but tears made their way unfaithfully to the nape of my neck.

He rubbed his arms and looked away to never return those eyes.
"Did I not tell you Miss that I am engaged?"

I did not know what emotion I felt at the moment. For being rejected was not far worse than him facing away. "I do not recall you ever establishing a commitment to anybody" I spoke in anguish.

"Strange we never had this conversation" he laughed.

I sat on the ground. The burden of the confession I made lifted,the burden of his confession felt like the sky has fallen on my shoulders which could not bear the burden of hay.
He was so wonderful, I could not believe he would become the subject of pain to the heart.
He was there,lord knows why he writes people who are not meant for you to visit you in your life. That too people so lovely and enchanting that it hurts so much to let go....