As I Collide, I See I Am a Paradox // White Collar

THIRTY-FIVE

My heart is more than just broken.
There were so many words unspoken.

~

At around noon, Kira checked her mail outside her apartment. As usual, it was mostly junk, but there was an envelope in her mailbox that had a return address of Copenhagen, Denmark. That's strange; she doesn't know anybody in Copenhagen.

Just as she was questioning the address, her neighbor opened her door from behind Kira and they saw each other and smiled. "Hey." The girl, Jenny, said. Kira doesn't know much about her, only that she moved in a few days ago, seems to keep to herself, but won't turn down a conversation if you happen to run into her. The girl was younger, almost the age of nineteen, it seems. And Kira was surprised to see such a young girl out on her own at such a young age, but, on the other hand, she ran away with Alex at fifteen, so she can't exactly talk.

Kira figured the problems with the parents might stem from the growing bump on her stomach, but she's not one to judge. Not her biz, not her problem. Girl seems to have a handle on the situation just fine, anyway.

"Hey." Kira responded, glancing up briefly from her stack of mail.

"Anything good in the mail?"

"Just junk." Kira shrugged loosely, dismissing the mysterious envelope. Or...simply deciding to keep her biz to herself. "You?"

Jenny scoffed out a laugh, shuffling through the envelopes, "Same."

Kira looked at her again, glancing down to her stomach, "You look just about ready to pop. When are you due?"

"Thursday."

"You nervous?"

Jenny did that laugh again. "Wouldn't you be?"

Kira shrugs loosely, "Yeah, well, I've never really thought about it. I can't imagine myself having kids."

"I'm sure you will someday." Jenny said assuredly.

Even then, Kira was sure "someday" would never arrive. She never played with dolls growing up. She wasn't interested in playing house or pretending to be a mom. That wasn't her. She's never dreamt about what she'd name her child should she ever have one. She's never thought about it at all because with her life as the way it is, she couldn't picture herself stealing and lying her way through life with a baby attached to her hip.

She didn't dwell on the subject long. Jenny went back into her space, Kira went back into her's. And she was sure that was it. She'd never think of the word "children" again. It's not an option for her.

What she needs to focus on is the mail right now. And why she has an envelope from Copenhagen, Denmark. Puzzled, Kira carried it inside along with the rest of her mail. Once she was settled on her couch in her living room, she opened the envelope and found a small paper flower inside. Kira smiled. Alex always loved origami. At one point half their apartment in Seattle was filled with them when she decided to give Kira a lesson. It took quite a few, but she eventually got it down. It was nothing but a cute, little hobby.

Alex admired it. They followed her wherever she went and those who knew her would almost see it as her trademark.

Kira lifted the beautifully folded, pink flower in her hand. Placing the envelope on the coffee table, she began to unravel the origami flower, destroying Alex's fine work. And on the pink piece of paper was writing. Kira drew the paper closer as she began to read and in some strange way, it was as if Alex was there...with her. She could hear her voice as she read the letter. For the first time in a long time she heard her — only in writing: