Wanting to Break

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I want to say
But my heart is frozen
I want to choose
But my words are broken.

Just how long will it go on?
How long do I have to wait?
These chains are scarring
And the wounds would stay.

I want to smile
But this ice can't break
I know it's not my place
But can I stay?

Your aftersmile
Makes me groan
Of a pain
Unknown

Breaking apart
Is not what I want
But seeing you collect
Scatters me the most

I know what you're afraid of
I can feel it too
But sometimes I wonder
Are these feelings even true?

I long for a smile
But I long for a cry too
To loose all the calm
And break into peices

That makes me
More at peace
But I am afraid
I might break it apart

I stay quite
I steal glances
I say
but my words inaudible

Am I sad?
Or is this
Just another phase?

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