Little Old Me (not my Story!)

Chapter 3

ALL THE CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL WRITER

She cried in the Bathroom once again, but she was proud of herself-she survived Monday at school. She flushed the last remnants of her vomit down the toilet toilet before she turned off the shower water and unlocked the Bathroom door. She made sure the Razor Blades were back in the Casket and well hidden under some Make up Stuff which Emma knew she was never going to use-she hated it but other than the other Girls in her Age she didn't like using Make up, sometimes she put a little bit on but never very much since one of the Girls in her Class, if they realized her, would always make a comment about it. Her little Brother Neal was at soccer practice and her Parents were still stuck at work, She was alone in the House. She's got through the Day without eating anything and she also wasn't hungry, nobody noticed it of course, why would they. Actually she was glad that her Parents weren't home, her Mother would cook Dinner and Emma would've been forced to eat. She opened her Physics Book before she read through the Pages as eager and concentrated as possible. She wasn't a good student when it came to Subjects like Physics, Biology or Chemistry, she simply didn't understand it, yet she tried as best as she could, especially since there were going to be four Tests in the following week-Monday-Physics, Wednesday-Chemistry; it was a small test but she still had to learn very much for it, Thursday-Biology and Friday French. It all felt so stressed and she didn't know what to do anymore; she had to learn it all in that Week and the weekend but Emma knew she couldn't do it. She was stressed because of it all and because she didn't want to fail that Year, she needed good grades to get in the other school and not to repeat the school Year, on the other Hand she felt like she didn't care anymore, like it didn't matter if she had good grades or not, like she could just kill herself and end it all, like she didn't want to go to that School anyway and rather stop the time. Just like that Tears ran down her Cheeks again. She cried and begged herself not to think about that all now and just learn but the Tears wouldn't stop, she held her Hands over her Head as if they were a Shield to save her she laid down in the Bed as she tried to get the Thoughts out of her Mind again; the thought of going into that damn bathroom, lock the Door and cut until her Arms would be covered in the Red Liquid, Throw up until she couldn't anymore and cry until there were no Tears left. But she was sick of crying. Sick of living. Sick of wanting to die. So she turned away from it. She took the Physics book and her Phone with the Headphones plugged in, then she put them on and turned the Music on, fresh one, songs people would hear at the time in the radio or just vey popular ones that would make those thoughts go away, during that she read those Physics Pages again, tried to understand it and made notes about it. She had fought against those unpleasant Thoughts-and won, that time. She was sure a new Challenge would be coming soon Thought. After some time she read it all through, wrote down a few Questions and underlined important words. It turned out not to be that complicated after all-then there was just Biology, Chemistry and French left. Emma always looked out for good grades in French, she wanted to be a good Student in Miss Mills' Class. She wanted to be in a Relationship with her, but she knew it would never come to that point in her life; nobody except a few Internet Friends Of Hers knew That She was Gay and she was quite afraid to come out in front of her Family. Her Family was another reason for her to feel down, they didn't know about her Depression, nobody except Her Parents and Internet Friends did. Emma was sure she loved her Family but her Aunt was some other Case. It wasn't just one time that she got Emma to cry, it wasn't just one time she made her feel uncomfortable by asking her about Happiness and her Hobby's. But Emma liked her, she guessed-her Aunt was a part of the Family so she had to like her-right?