Little Old Me (not my Story!)

Chapter 8

ALL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL WRITER

The Week went bad, that much was sure. Emma just wanted it to end already and go back to School, she craved after her Brunette Teacher and she needed the Strict Routine Of every day in school. She cried way more often than usually, especially since there was no Miss Mills anywhere near. She couldn't imagine the Summer Break. Emma was at the point where she closed her eyes and if she opened them then a Tear would escape them, where she was that numb and wouldn't move or talk anymore. For instance, She was forced to buy some stuff at the Shop that day, it was the sixth day without seeing Miss Mills already and Emma fell apart; she knew there would be a family dinner at Monday, in four days, but she had no idea how she could survive it. Anyway, aside from counting the money for the fiftieth time already in attempt to calm her anxiety, she suddenly was faced a new problem. Talking. It had always been hard for her. Of course she was bullied almost her whole life which might have caused that, but she actually had no idea, and also didn't want to talk to People. It sent shivers down her spine and she would sweat hard, stutter or her voice would fail. As simple as the Question 'do you also want some meat in the Roll' made her anxious, especially since she didn't expect that Question. In a second thousand possible relies rushed through her mind, just like the reaction of the Person that asked her about it. Yet, her voice seemed to fail. "I...Um....Without anything...please.", Emma slowly Replied. Such a disappointment of a human being you are. Her inner voice said and of course Emma believed it again, the sentence that she's heard too often already. By now it was late in the Night already, actually Emma tried to fall asleep earlier that day, hoping Sleeping would just make the Week pass faster so she could see the Stunning Brunette sooner. Of course, it wasn't worth trying-nothing is; Emma Thought. So there she was, half past two o'clock in the morning and she still couldn't get herself to sleep. She was thankful that there weren't new depressive thoughts, or also 'stupid thoughts' as she called them, coming into her mind, since she listened to music in order to distract herself enough to leave the Rest aside. Ever since she knows Music had helped her, it calmed her, it sometimes stopped her from doing things she would regret and it helped her control her Emotions. Of course Emma would rather be next to Miss Mills in that Moment, but she couldn't-of course she couldn't. Yet the She couldn't help but imagine how it would be to feel the Brunettes skin close to her own ones, how her Lips felt-she bet they were tasty and soft, they looked like that at least, she wondered how it would feel like to make that adorable human being Giggle or chuckle because of her, she wondered how it would be to call her hers, to trail her Fingers over that soft skin whenever she wanted to and to hold her. It wasn't because of Sex-she simply wanted to feel the Brunette close to her. She imagined the last day of her Life, just a few hours before she would kill herself. She wanted to go to Miss Mills' House, pull her close and kiss her with everything she had. Of course it would never happen, first of all Emma would be way too shy to do it and second of all she didn't have the slightest Idea of where the Brunette lived. Why would she know?, she was her student after all. Anyway, even though Emma knew how wrong it all was, She felt the need to taste those Lips, to feel that skin, to Kiss her hair, to massage her shoulders after a long day. She knew she would never be able to do it and it killed her from the inside, if she could only die easily. But life wasn't easy, and not fair for sure-Emma had to learn that already; but she was sure, she wanted to die and she would die in the summer break. She chose not to fight, it was no Mood-it was a decision. Fighting would be useless. She knew she had to do it at a place nobody could stop her-she decided to jump off a building. It had to be high enough to kill her in case she wouldn't fall on her Head. Oh how much she wished it all would be easier.