Little Old Me (not my Story!)

Chapter 1

AN/This book is about a bunch of things, in the description is more information about it. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOURE NOT COMFORTABLE TO. As I already said in the description there will not be a warning (of any kind) at the top of the Chapters. No warnings for Self Harm, Bulimie, Suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, smut, or anything else like this. If you don't like the book don't read it, if you do, I hope you'll enjoy :) (Ofc The whole book is not just about those themes hehe

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Fight. Fight for the ones you love, fight for the ones that love you, fight for you. Emma Swan had heard those sentences way too often already but every time they seemed to get even more unreal, like a lie that gets more obvious with every time you talk about it. What if you feel like there is nobody that loves you? What if you don't know who you love for sure? What if you're tired of Fighting? Tired of surviving. Yes, surviving, because Her life was no living anymore. Every Day she just tried to get through it without cutting or throwing up again, without asking the Teacher in the middle of the Lesson if she may use the Bathroom so her Classmates wouldn't see her cry and break down and without having sleepless nights.  Of course there were good Times, normal times even, but then there were the Marks on her Body that would never let her forget it, words of People that would push her back down to the Ground-until she wouldn't stand up anymore. Was is better to stay down? Not to try getting up again? Not to fight it anymore and just end it? It was easier as it seemed to die than to live, living became a hard Challenge that just the strongest of them would succeed, Emma was strong, a few people told her so, her online Friends-her only Friends.  She sat in her a Room once again, it was a little bit dark since it was late already and the Light was turned off. When she was younger she thought that she was an average Girl, now she was 17 years old, had brown Hair that fell down in free Locks, mostly she wore it in a messy bun thought or in a high ponytail, light green Eyes, not much make up-and Gay, she thought so at least, she wasn't sure-wasn't sure about anything. Emma just knew that if she saw that Woman in School, she had to smile, however if she had a breakdown just a few seconds ago or if she was about to have one, that one second of seeing the Brunette 28-years old Woman made her smile uncontrollably. Wasn't that what love was about? Emma wasn't sure, she never was in any Relationship; she never wanted one, never wanted anything since it all started some years ago. She can't even remember when Depression started to make her Life a living Hell, when it started to burn flames in her Head and the thoughts of unpleasant things were forced to come back into her Mind even though she tried to push them aside.  Emma didn't know what to do; she didn't want to imagine the next year for her, when she would visit another school. In her School she was a living ghost. Nobody talked to her, nobody noticed her, nobody Smiled at her-and it hurt, it hurt like Hell but she wouldn't tell People about it-she was used them to tell her that she would annoy them if she started talking about her worry's. Yet, she had one friend in school; oh well, not really a Friend, more like someone that made her laugh sometimes. She wasn't allowed to feel depressed or sad around her because her Friend got annoyed then and didn't talk to Emma anymore-so she stayed quiet. On the other Hand School was the only Chance for her to see the stunning 28-years old. But there was a Problem, She was a Teacher-Emma's Teacher. Emma Knew She would never be able to kiss her, hold her or feel her. The Teacher was gorgeous, Emma Thought; Beautiful Chocolate brown eyes, talented given she spoke English and French fluently-and those were just the ones Emma knew she'd speak. Adorable Chuckles and when she giggled she'd be warming everyone's heart, Brown curly Hair that fell down her back, Thin but not too thin, soft make up, Twenty Eight Years Old, Angelic Voice And an amazing Body you might add. A French Teacher That you could only Dream Of, Emma Knew She would never have a Chance at her, the other Woman probably wasn't even Gay-even if she was, she would never want a Relationship with her Student. In a year it all wouldn't matter anymore anyway, Emma would be visiting another School and never see the Woman of her Dreams again