1960s // jally one shots

1!

prompt: "did you at least think of me, when you were having sex with her?"

trigger warning: cheating

a/n: hi

our apartment was old, the paint was peeling and the bulbs would flicker every now and then. our room was cold and the kitchen was hot. the bathroom's light didn't work and the living room's would only sometimes turn on- what a pleasant surprise when they did. but with the money my parents gave us and the little cash from my part time job, it was really the only thing we could afford. and i wish i could say i liked it, but it was stale and no one ever cleaned it, so i wasn't too proud of it and it sure as hell didn't feel too homey.

today was different, though. when i pushed the door open, the air didn't feel thick and the usual disgusting odor was masked by a light aroma of perfume. it smelt like someone could actually live here. i frowned. our place never smelt nice and the fact that it did was leaving an eerie taste in my mouth and a growing weight in my stomach.

"b?" i said. "i'm home?" are you or did someone break in? i gained no response which was odd because he was always at my feet when i got home. but i paid no mind and decided he was just asleep. because that's something he would do, right?

so i threw myself on our torn couch, tossing my legs on the arm rest. i was closing my eyes, trying to rest when i heard it: a quiet moan. at first i thought it was our neighbors-our walls are thin, almost nonexistent- but then there was a loader one. my eyes immediately flung open and i struggled to crawl off the couch.

when i gained my balance, i rushed into the hallway.

it wasn't long before i was in front of the bedroom door. now i was close and i could hear the breathing, loud exhales and quick inhales. his. a sudden rage boiled in my stomach. they were his and they were supposed to be for me. quiet whimpers and delicate whispers of my name in my ear and now it was someone else's name in someone else's ear. his hands were saved for me and now they were touching someone else's hips, rocking someone else against his thighs that he saved for me.

i just stood there and listened as she groaned in pleasure, the pleasure he made me feel. her whines sounded like mine and when she mumbled his name i could picture me doing the same. we were one in the same- her and me. i felt her slowly morphing into me, replacing me, becoming me.

"darlin', faster. please, god," she squeaked, a southern accent told me she had to be from texas or maybe oklahoma. "god!"

her voice was tearing at me, ripping me to shreds. i swear she was pushing me to the ground and onto my knees where i silently erupted into a fit of tears. my knees dug into our stained carpet. my hands jerked into my hair and pulled at it in agony. my face grew red and hotter each time a noise came from her stupid fucking mouth.

this is what death feels like. this is what it feels like to die. to have your heart ripped out of you in a quick, fluid motion. it was a horrid, gut-wrenching pain that screamed against my organs and clawed across my muscles. torture. suffering. ache. torment.

the moans swirled around my head, and i slowly became a slave to the sound. it whipped me, knifed me, slathered me in agony.

and i let my arms fall and hit the door with a bang that finally halted their pleasure. it rang out in the sudden silence and then all you could hear were my slight whimpers.

"patty?" i heard ben whisper. "oh, fuck."

the mattress squeaked and then there were footsteps and then it was quiet and then the door opened and because that door was what was keeping me upright, i fell on my face.

he bent down to pick me up but i curled my hand into a fist and pushed him away. "you fucking ass," i whispered. my lips formed "ben" but "ass" came out and that really spoke for itself.

i seemed so weak and useless on the dirty floor. my voice felt horse, like i was the one in there, screaming in orgasmic satisfaction 'til it hurt to speak.

"pat-"

"no."

"patrick-"

"fuck off."

i pushed myself up, using all my strength to lift me off the ground. i stood up, wobbling a little, and looked at him. he was naked, except for a pair of boxers he must've just thrown on. and he was blocking my view of his new love interest. which made me mad. if you're gonna be so loud, why not show me who the lucky one is! the beautiful hardbody prostitute you raked off the streets, dragged her into your car with a $20 bill.

"don't- don't. you have excuses, i know you do. you have bullshit answers for everything, that's who you are. but i don't know how you're gonna save yourself from this one, babe," i whimpered. the pain in my chest was fire and i could feel it traveling through my veins, into my stomach, into my feet and legs and thighs and hands and neck and face. "i don't know how- how you're gonna save yourself."

"love-"

"that's not my name."

"patty. it's- it's complicated."

"it's complicated? love is complicated? when you're with someone and you love them and you live with them, there is no one else. it's you and the person you love, ben!" i tried to scream, but it just came out in a pathetic whimper. "i give you all i can in bed and all i got out of it. i am so sorry that that wasn't enough!"

"it was more than enough, swee- patty. my relationship with her is complicated. please just let me explain," he pleaded. he sounded apologetic, but he was ben fucking biss. he could be anything you wanted him to be. he was a liar and a faker and that's what made me fall in love with him but that was not gonna make me stay in love.

"i don't give a fuck who she is! i don't care if she's judy goddamn garland! i don't care if y'all dated for sixty years before you met me! you're with me! there's no room for anyone else, ben." my chest was pounding and my breath was so uneven i thought i was gonna pass out from lack of oxygen.

"please, please just try to understand," his eyes started to water and i felt like laughing. i could see him rehearsing this beforehand with his little girlfriend, saying, "if patty finds out, i'm gonna say this. i'm gonna do this." it was pathetic and predictable and i could see right through him.

"you can't do this," i whispered. "you're just the person they say you are. i thought you weren't. i thought they were stupid and blind. and i just knew i had to be with you, because i just knew you were different." i whimpered. tears rolled down my cheeks, leaving streaks of bright red. my nose burned and snot was drooling down off my lips and into my mouth and it tasted bitter and it blended in with every other taste in my mouth. "i'm so stupid."

"patty. patty, you're not stupid and i'm so sorry." his hands finally moved from his side and snaked onto my back. i let them linger there, feeling his cold arms sink into my skin. "it won't happen again, i promise. i promise."

"i don't believe you," i mumbled. my head dropped onto his chest and i let a sob rip through my throat and soak his chest.

we stayed like that for a few minutes before i finally pushed myself away. i stumbled backwards for a second and had to lean on the wall for support. i exhaled. then i looked at him. his dark eyes. his light skin. his matted hair. and the pout on his lips that was holding in everything he wanted to say. and i smiled. a small, sad smile. a "this isn't how it's supposed to end" smile. and i said, "b?" and he nodded. "did you at least think of me, when you were having sex with her?"

but he hesitated, his mouth twitching open with no sound coming out. he froze and he stayed like that for a few seconds before he bit his lip and said, "of course."

i scoffed through my tears and shook my head. "you're- you're pathetic." and i turned away from him and started to walk away. of course he followed me. but without looking back at him i said, "goodbye, ben biss, the love of my life," and walked out the door.

and behind me a glass shattered and a man screamed as he fell to his knees.