A FEW MORE BABY STEPS

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The next morning, Sanem went and sat on the pier. Because everything that happened, she was taking her anti-anxiety pills once again. So, she was back to her daily ritual of taking her pill, writing a wish, placing the wish in her pill bottle and throwing it into the sea. Unbeknownst to her, Can saw her leave the farm and he followed her to the pier. He watched her complete her ritual. He was very confused when he saw her take the pill. Can walked over and sat down beside her. He asked her why she took medication. She explained when he left for a year on his boat, she ended up in the hospital and took therapy. He asked why she ended up in the hospital. With tears in her eyes, she confessed she lost her mind when he left. Can just stared at her with tears in his eyes. Can told her how sorry he was and that he didn't know. He then asked her why she still needed her medication. She told him with everything that happened, she was having panic attacks again. She admitted she was having a hard time dealing with his loss of memories. He asked her if she was giving up on him. Sanem answered by saying no. It was just hard to look in his eyes and no longer see love for her there. Can asked her to be patient and not to give up.

Can saw a boat sitting there beside the pier. He asked Sanem whose boat it was. Sanem told him it was their boat. It was the boat he traveled a year on and when he returned, he sold it. Sanem told him she bought the boat back for him and that he would only accept if they called it their boat. Can asked her if they could go on a quick sail. Sanem accepted. Can helped her onto the boat and off they went for their quick sail.

Can was having mental flashes of being on this boat with her. Holding her...kissing her...her trying to make pasta but ended up wearing it. He started laughing at the picture of pasta in Sanem's hair. Sanem asked what was so funny. Can told her he was seeing a picture of pasta in her hair while on this very boat. Sanem said it was the first time she made a meal on a boat. Can realized it wasn't just a picture...it was a memory. Sanem asked him if he remembered anything else. Can told her he was seeing pictures of them sitting right there with her back against his chest. He was holding her, and they were kissing. Sanem told him the picture he saw in his mind was real. Can turned the boat off and asked her, with a smile, if they could recreate that last picture. Can sat down and Sanem sat with her back against his chest. Can wrapped his arms around her. Sanem looked back at him and he gently kissed her cheek. Sanem turned around so she could look at his face. Can looked from her eyes to her mouth. Sanem made the first move. She placed her lips against Can's and began kissing him. Can's heartbeat sped up and his arms were tingling. He continued to hold her close. He felt peace with her and never wanted to let go of her. He pulled back and asked her if they had ever slept together. Sanem told him many times. Can smiled big. Sanem just realized what he meant and told him not in that way. We have fell asleep in each other's arms many times, but they both agreed to wait until they were married. He asked her if she has made love with anyone before him. Sanem looked at her feet embarrassed. Can put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up. He told her not to be embarrassed. Sanem told him no she has never made love to any man because she has never had a boyfriend before. Can smiled and said he was happy to hear that. He then asked her if he was her first love. She answered yes. She told him he was the blood in her veins...the breath in her lungs. Can kissed her again with everything he had in him.

They returned to the pier a short time later. Can grabbed her hand and helped her off the boat but did not let go of her hand. They walked hand in hand back to the farm. Can wanted to stay by her side for the night but was afraid to say anything to her. He didn't want to seem pushy. Unknown to him, Sanem was thinking the same thing. Sanem took the lead and asked him if he would stay with her tonight. She told him it might bring more of his memories back just by sleeping next to her. Can said OK. So, they headed into her house hand in hand. 

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