AKA

8.

     I was weaving in and out of cars while frantically trying to blink away tears. "Shit..shit..shit!" I said as I banged on the steering wheel, causing the bone in my hand to ache. You're almost there. Making a sharp right turn I entered his large neighborhood. I was cautious of my speed as I drove through the winding roads. My eyes jetted back and force as I anticipated my arrival. I can't be the one. I can't find him. My thoughts bounced loudly around my head until I saw his car...everything stopped. "He came home." I breathed out heavily as a small amount of stress was lifted off of my shoulders. Parking on the side, I stared at the house mentally preparing myself for what could be inside. If he's dead..I'll never come back from this, I'd die. If he's alive...I'll have to talk to him, make everything okay. Somehow.

    Turning my car off slowly, I took only my keys and phone inside. If he's okay I'll turn my phone off. Walking cautiously up to the door, I took a peek into his car just incase. Empty. Wet grass gathered on the front of my shoes leaving more hope. "The sprinklers were turned on." I said to myself with my eyes closed. Taking a step closer I could see that the door was slightly cracked. Everything about this seemed wrong. It felt wrong. Using a few fingers I pushed the door open slightly. One foot stepped in when I heard the TV blaring. I felt hope again. "Mars.." I said loudly as I walked further into the house. No answer. Maybe he's in the bathroom. Walking into the kitchen I noticed the many empty bottles of alcohol all over the counter. Grabbing one that had a little left, I began to chug the contents out of pure fear. The clear liquid burned my throat and I sat it down quietly. The living room was empty. No one was on the couch, no snacks or drinks as if he was having a movie marathon. Just the remote sitting neatly on the coffee table. Fantastic Four. Grabbing the remote I turned the TV off and sat it back in its original position. That's when I heard the sound of water running coming from upstairs. Taking a bath. Every step I took I got more nervous. Reaching the top I noticed the sloshing sound coming from the bathroom. Fuck! Running to the bathroom I swung the door open with tears in my eyes. I slipped slightly on the water that spilled over the edge of the bathtub. Not again. This can't be happening. I shouldn't have come.

Another girl. On top of him. This is what I rushed over here for! Just to be fucking humiliated again! His face looked cold. He's high. She had brown hair this time, It clinged to her wet caramel skin. Her manicured fingers gripped the tub behind his head. His hands pryed at her waist, his eyes closed in clear pleasure. "What the fuck!" The girl yelled as she noticed my presence. She jumped, covering her body, causing the water to fly all over the place. His eyes opened and turned to the direction she was staring in. "Who are you?" She asked loudly. He began to lift up and I noticed the shock in his eyes once he processed the situation. I felt like I had been frozen all this time. "..no one." I said in a passive tone. He stood up completely trying to get out quick enough to catch me. Turning around quickly, I slipped on the water causing me to hit the right side of my head hard on the sink. shit. "Are you okay!?" He asked as he quickly put on his shorts. no. "Ye-..fuck.." I said as I tried to stand up, knocking over a few things. I stumbled out, trying to locate the stairs. "What the fuck is going on!" The girl yelled from the bathroom. "Look, just go!" Mars said back to her. I hit the wall as my balance began to whither away. Finally reaching the stairs I felt a warm substance slide down cheek. Am I crying? Reaching for the spot that was hit, I noticed the dampness of my hair. Blood. So much blood. "Luci...please-" Turning around I saw Mars. His eyes lit up with horror as he saw my face. Blood poured down the side of my face and forehead. It was now trailing down my neck. "I'm s-sor.." I couldn't get my words out as everything started turning to black. I didn't hit it that hard. Yes you did. It was the corner. You slipped. You should've never come.

I was now being carried outside. My vision going in and out. "I'm so sorry.." Opening my eyes again I saw tears streaming down his face as he drove. My bloody hand reached for him but I was too weak to move any further. "Mmm.." Is all I could manage to get out at the moment. "It's okay, just hold on." He said as he ran his fingers through his hair. His hand reached for mine and I was once again unconscious.

I'm sorry. This isn't what I wanted to happen. I don't know why I showed up to begin with. I guess because I thought he cared so much that he would actually try to take his life. Instead he just found another random girl to fuck.Which is better than the other option, but it still hurts. I could've just stayed home, got high, watched a few movies. Grieved my "loss" and taken the chance that this would all just blow over in time. I would've saved myself the physical and mental pain. Now I'm bleeding out on his seats, because I slipped on the water he was fucking in. Kinda funny actually. A way to go out, better than overdosing. Or getting so angry that I spontaneously combust. Is it all worth it? Do I need to live? Do I deserve it? No.

•••

Had to leave a cliff hanger! It was just the perfect time!

-SUSU