summertime sweetness

Sparks fly and Starbursts

The memory of his kiss is still imprinted on my skin. I told him the feeling of his skin on mine was heaven, he told me I was high. Perhaps he doesn't understand, i don't feel new things when i am under the pull of a good high, i am no longer afraid to express them. The things he makes me feel are incredible. He reminds me of home, but the ideal. Like i am the luckiest man alive because i found someone for me so early. He makes me laugh, my cheeks hurt from smiling and hes so fucking handsome? He reminds me of a time before I knew the world was bad. The feeling of standing in the car, riding in the back of a trunk. Eating popsicles on the hottest summer days. I look at him and i see playing in the water hose. I'm comfortable around him in a way I've never been comfortable before, he reminds me of the first time I had a root beer float. The sticky sweetness, the smiles. Fuck i look at him and i'm so fucking happy but i feel like there aren't words to express it, so i don't, until i can't be quiet, until i don't have as much control over what comes out of my mouth, until he smiles at me and i feel my body melt into bliss. The way he looks at me, when he calls me baby, i can see it. I can see how happy I am with him. I am so afraid of being too much, Of overwhelming him. maybe if he knew how much i love him he would be afraid. He fills my existence. When i am with him, i am okay with the world. How privileged is that? That i have someone that makes me forget that my existence is surrounded by hate. All i feel with him is love, i am in love. And i would be scared, god knows i would be scared but fuck he makes me feel so safe. Like its okay to express myself. I'm in love, i just hope he doesnt regret feeling the same. i know this is poorly written, i'm tired, and lovey, but i feel too much, so much of it is love. i need to express it, in hopes he will see it, but doesn't have to address it. not if he wishes not to. so now i'm sitting in my bed, thinking of his lips and sweet kisses.