If You Would [h.s.] HOLD

Thirty-Nine

Sexual assault TW!!!

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I don't think that I have ever heard Randy apologize genuinely for anything in the 3 years that I've known him, so when he apologizes for the handcuffs being too tight and he doesn't have an underlying emotion in his eyes, I'm shocked. As soon as the door shuts to my new run down bedroom I break into sobs. Hopeless, pitiful, sobs. My left hand hangs against the cold metal of the cuffs and I can already feel the tingling sensation of low circulation in my fingers. If this is anything like last time, and I know it's probably worse, I will be left like this for days with no food or water, and hardly any human interaction,

I feel completely overwhelmed with this new information I've been given. It's all too much for me. Chelsea, my harmless and annoying coworker, has conspired with my abusive ex-husband, kidnapped me successfully and is keeping me hostage here like some sort of Taken movie. In those movies there's always some sort of knowing that the damsel in distress will be rescued with minimal harm done to her, but this isn't a movie and I'm a realist. They wouldn't take me and risk themselves like this if they weren't willing and apt to do me harm and even kill me, and they definitely wouldn't be stupid enough to let me go.  

My eyes squint closed and a few hot tears pour down my hot cheeks. I lay in this bed for what feels like days, but is probably just hours. Needless to say I was surprised when I hear the door knob jiggle and open, revealing Randy with a plate of food. It doesn't look like much from here. I don't flinch back like I feel I would normally do in his presence. Instead I stay still and keep my eyes connected to his. He cautiously approaches me with the food in tow and a water bottle in his hoodie pocket. From here, and if I didn't know him, he seems like a caring boyfriend. He places the water bottle on the bedside table and sits on the edge of the bed, close to me but not touching me.

"How are you feeling?" he asks me nonchalantly, as if this isn't bizarre in every sense of the word. I shrug, mimicking his normalcy. I put on an act, hopefully fooling him into thinking ill submit to everything. The more harmless I seem, the better.

"My hand hurts, these cuffs are so tight." I wince slightly as I adjust my wrist, which is already beginning to feel sore. His eyes widen slightly as if he's concerned but I'm not fooled. 

"I could take them off while you eat if you want, but I have to put it back on once you're done." His suggestion catches me off guard but I take the opportunity while it still stands and nod desperately. 

"Y-yes, please!" I nearly start crying again as he digs a small key from his pocket and relieves my pain by taking the cuff off my wrist. I bring my wrist to my face and observe the slight raw red ring around it. I touch it lightly with my other hand, it hurts but the fresh air feels nice and cool on it. I look up at him with gratitude.

"Thank you so much Randy." I over exaggerate my thankfulness but only slightly. There's something off and new about him that I can't quite put my finger on. Earlier, he seemed to be easily manipulated into revealing Chelsea. It was a risky move on my part but it ended up working exactly how I wanted it to. The other thing that's different is he has a lot more willingness to actually care about my wellbeing. If I'm correct, I could try something.

"It's really no big deal, I don't want what happened before to happen again, if it were up to me..." he stops, my heart thumps against my chest. 

"If it were up to you what? Please finish." I ask politely. I sit up farther in the bed and look at him as if I'm paying attention, I am but I want him to think I care about him. He looks away and then down to the plate of french fries in his lap. 

"You should eat these before they get cold." He stands up and hands me the plate of fries, I grab them with my right hand and do something I don't expect myself to do. I reach my injured hand forward and gently grasp his arm to keep him from walking away from me. He stops and looks at me with a look of longing that I used to see from him in the beginning of our previous relationship, the look makes my heart flutter for a second before I snap myself out of it and remember what I wanted to do.

"I know things have been rough between us, but you can still talk to me. I'm sorry for not believing you changed, I can see that you still care for me Randy. Thank you." I lie through my teeth. If I am right and he has really broken down and gave into the insanity in his mind, this will work. The words feel forced as they came from my mouth, I feel like I've spoken forbidden words, but his face twists into a sympathetic and hopeful smile, which surprisingly puts a smile on my face. He nods and begins to walk out of the room. I look down at my plate of slightly cold fries and pick one up as I wait for him to leave. I put one in my mouth and begin to chew but I don't hear the door close and lock, instead I hear his heavy footsteps near me again. By the time I look up at him, he is leaning over me and the plate falls to the ground and breaks, but I can't pay attention to that when his lips crash into mine and pin me to the bed. I firmly place my fists against his chest and begin to fight but he grabs my wrists together and parts slightly.

"I knew you still loved me Evelyn, even when I took you from that hotel room, you had love in your eyes. Don't fight it." He lets go of my wrists and I gasp in shock and disgust, he must have taken it as a sign to continue though because he connects his wet lips back to mine, but this time I let him. For some twisted reason, I miss the physical connection, plus, I can use this to my advantage. Maybe, just maybe, I can make him fall back in love with me and he will let me go, and that's why I let him violate me, with the door open and no witnesses. 

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Okay, well, oof, I honestly surprised myself with this chapter, how about you?

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