You're My Everything ~ A Niam Story

Chapter 13

I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR LIAM'S ACTIONS IN THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE DON'T HATE MEH.

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Liam's POV

I hate myself.

Slice.

I hate myself for what I am.

Slice.

I hate Danielle for what she did.

Slice.

I hate myself for lying to him.

Slice.

I hate myself for being a coward.

Slice.

I lay the bloody blade down in the bathroom sink and watched in the mirror as the blood slowly rolled down my torso and into my black Calvin Klein boxers. After a few minutes a slipped out of my now bloody boxers and hopped into the shower. The pain had started to go away but as soon as the water hit the cuts in my skin, it immediately felt like it was on fire. I then proceeded to wash them with soap, crying out a bit as the suds hit the cut area. Don't want them to get infected....I thought to myself. After that I just stood under the water as though about...well everything...

You're probably wondering who "him" is. Well if you haven't already guessed, it's Niall. Niall Niall Niall Niall. That's all I ever think about these days. Now your probably wondering why I hate myself so much. Well I hate myself for what I am as in gay. Or bi. I'm not really sure anymore...all I know is I love Niall. Another boy.

I hate myself myself for what I am, a homophobe. I don't want to be gay. I don't want to love Niall. I DON'T WANT TO BE GAY.

I hate Danielle for what she did. What she did you ask? For what she did to Niall. Yes. I heard it. I heard it all. What she said. What she did. Nialls sobs....which brings me to why I hate myself for being a coward. I should have gone in there and stopped Danielle. But I didn't. I stood on the other side of the wall like the bloody coward I am. What wall? Oh the wall in the bathroom. You see, I got up,to take a wee, and the bathroom is right next to the kitchen...

But most of all I hate myself for lying to him. For lying about being clean [from cutting], for lying about my love for him. For distancing myself from him, even though I know he likes me back and I could see I was tearing him apart in side. A few weeks ago, Simon suggested we live closer together, so now we all live on the same block, Niall to the right of my flat, Zayn to the left, and Haz and Lou are around the corner. A few times, I saw Niall walking down the street to Zayn's flat. Tears streaming down his face. But I'm a coward. And since I don't want to be gay or bi or whatever, Niall has to suffer.

I'm such a douche. I think to myself as I hope out of the shower. Why do have to be so fucking selfish? I sigh and dry myself off, and go into my room. I pull on some boxers and sweats and then go back into the bathroom. I look down at my bare chest, where all my scars are visible and where the fresh ones are still burning on my skin. I lift the blade back off the sink and press it to my skin. I deserve this. I think as I press down hard and slide the blade across my flesh. I quickly grab a towel and press it to the cut. But immediately I realize something's not right.

It won't stop bleeding. After like a minute or so, it usually stops, but this time it's not. It's only getting worse. Ten minutes pass, and its still bleeding, and black spots are starting to dot my vision. "You are such a fucking idiot." I whisper to myself, as I slide to the floor, my legs unable to support me anymore.

Now almost 30 minutes have passed and I'm still bleeding. The area where I cut is pale and hurts like a bitch. I try to stand, so I can reach my cell, as I have now, concluded that I have cut to deep. Way to deep. But I can't. "Great" I mutter.

Another 15 minutes pass and by now, the towel that was once white, is now completely red. I'm also on the verge of unconsciousness. But then right as I fell myself slipping under, and begin to accept the fact that ill probably die right here, I hear the front door open and a familiar Bradford accent call out into the empty house. I force myself to stay awake.

"Helloooo? Li?" Zayn calls.

"Zayn!" I try to shout, but my voice is barely audible. So I try a different approach. I bang the sink cabinet as hard as I can. But this sudden movement causes the blood flow from my stomach to increase. "Fuck" I mutter as I fight to stay awake. But my actions did not go in vain. I hear foot steps running up the stairs.

"Liam? LIAM?" Zayn calls from the hallway, a bit panicked.

"In here." I say using up my remaining energy. I hear Zayn run into the bathroom, but my eyes have already started to close.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD LIAM!" Zayn screams as he runs and kneels down next to me.

"Liam! LIAM! Stay awake please!" He shouts as he whips out his phone and I assume called 911. By this time my eyes have fluttered shut and the last thing I hear before I slip into unconsciousness, are Zayn's sobs as he screams at me to stay with him.

What have I done...?

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Okay people. This is dedicated to @BiggestNiallanator69 because we are awko taco buddies. Sorry if you hate me because I dedicated this ugliness to you. I understand if you would rather not be buddies anymore....

And to everyone else...

Please don't kill me for doing this to Liam...

IM TO YOUNG TO DIE.

But I'm proud of myself.

This is like a record time for me. I have never updated this quick before. Like ever. But I wanted to make it up to you guys.

But now I'm not sure if I made it up to you or if I just made wanna kill me...

Eh YOLO.

Ok these were my thoughts while writing this chapter:

ok maybe Zayn will redeem himself if he saves Liam's life....

Liam, you're a bastard. Making Niall cry nd shit.

But now you might die....so...I'm conflicted...

I want a unicorn.

Hmmmm I wonder where Larry went....If you know I mean ;D

LIAM WHAT THE FUCK.

OMG guys the knew Fabulous magazine that's all about One Direction is like only available in the UK. Like WTF. stupid America......

*oprah vioce* I am so hungryyyyyyyy

I'm such a mean person. Why did I wrote this?

MY PAYZER FEELS OMG LIAM AND DANIELLE WHY!?

.......ok I think I'm scaring you guys. As usual.....

Ok I should go....

It's late....

Well.....vote....and comment...and fan and stuff...no? Oh ok....

~Bern