Reunion (The Monkees Family Vol. 3)

Chapter 34

During Micky's regular call to Gabby at work the next day before he went to bed, she filled him in on her campaign to get the family on board to support Davy or at least not antagonize or abandon him.

"Well, I'm not going to give three cheers and throw a party for him, but I will breathe a huge sigh of relief for you, my Gabby. I hope you're getting some solace and relief from that."

Gabby smiled at how Micky knew what her mission meant to her in the big scheme of things and how to balance his own feelings and interests with hers, being true to both. "Yes, I have to say I truly do feel like I've laid a burden down. I did my best for him, I did right by you and me, and now the rest is up to the family and Davy himself. You and I are out of the mix now. I can focus on my own healing and you can hopefully not be looking over your shoulder, worrying about any fallout."

"Hey, Gabby, I'm not and won't ever be looking over my shoulder about Davy. I wish I could make you believe that. I'm not scared of him and I'm not worried about him coming after me. You should see how he avoids me. He's ashamed of what he did and if he does still hate me, which I'm pretty sure he does, he's doing it quietly and in private. Which is just fine with me. It's like I told you before, what I heard at a meeting once. It's possible to achieve serenity with unsolved problems."

Gabby felt a lightning bolt of revelation zap through her. "You really think so, Micky?"

He affirmed "I do. Why, do you feel like you're not going to be able to get through your troubles until little Davy's taken care of? If you think that, you're going to be fucked up for a really long time. You've got to stop trying to fix everyone in this family. You need to take care of yourself."

Gabby felt a sob rise up in her gullet and escape involuntarily. "But Micky, that's the mindset I had when I slept with Davy! I said to myself 'Fuck Micky and his problems and his infidelity to me. I'm going to do what I think is right for me.' And look what happened! How can that possibly be the right way to live?"

Micky was taken aback and realized he needed to both rethink and recalibrate his message. "Gabby, Gabby, I'm sorry. I wasn't – I mean – I didn't mean to imply that taking control over your life and not living for others is always going to pan out for you exactly the way you want it to. Of course once in a while there will be unintended consequences or things that backfire. And I'm not going to say I'm happy about you deciding to exercise your independence in exactly the way you did, but I told you as soon as I found out about what you did with Davy and you had explained your reasoning that you were entitled to do it and that I didn't blame you for it. You've got to stop wearing sack cloth and ashes for that decision you made and you have to place the blame for the negative outcomes where it lies – with Davy. Just like you've been doing so well for the part of your life that involved Nick. You can do it. I know you can."

Gabby sobbed "S-s-so you think Davy's as evil as Nick and you want me to think that, too? That's what Dawn just reamed me out for when we last talked and said I shouldn't think! I'm so confused."

Micky felt terrible about how he had confused and broken Gabby. He was frustrated once again by the imperfect medium through which he was trying to communicate. He wished he could look Gabby in the eye, hold her, convey his meaning to her through touch and expression and spiritual communion.

"Gabby, please listen to me. Close your eyes and just listen. Can you please do that for me? It's really hard for me to get my point across this way, over the phone. So pretend we're in the same room and we're talking without words but this time I'm using the words and you're going to try to picture my face and my body language as I'm saying them. Okay? Can we try that?"

Gabby sniffed and agreed. "Okay, that sounds like a good idea, Micky."

Micky gave a sigh of relief. "Okay. Great. Are your eyes closed, Gabriella?"