Wroetoshaw One Shots

Coping.

- flashbacks 

It was 5am and Harry was sat in his living room in his apartment in Guernsey, he liked it there, when he was there, no one could bother him, he did not want to be bothered by anyone. 

It had been the worst year of his life, it had started of great, the Sidemen were popping off, he was finally able to come out off his shell in videos and people were starting to understand his humour and how he acted much more. But nothing can be all good all the time, eventually something does not go right, something happens that changes everything and that was what had happened. 

July the 23rd 2019

It was the day that everything changed, nothing would ever be the same again, and everyone just expected him to keep on living, it had been a year. But he was not ready to keep on going, he could not accept it, he would never accept it. 

July the 23rd 2020.

One year ago, he had made the stupid decision while drunk to jump off a boat that he and the rest of the Sidemen and some of there friends and girlfriends were renting. 

-

Stupid was an understatement, as he had not looked down, but he could not have seen the impact coming, the water was dark,  Then the water was all around him, then he felt something crash into his left leg, the agony was unbearable, he felt himself starting to scream, he did not want to scream, he was still underwater, he would lose air, but he could not think, he could not see anything, and the sea kept closing in on him. The last thing that he remembered was someone jumping in and grabbing his arm, then everything just turned black.

-

Harry took in a deep breath as he reached over to his trusted friend, his little bright orange pill glass, he took two in his hand as he swallowed them with a sip of water. Since that day in Ibiza a year ago, his friends had been replaced with this little orange pill glass, his girlfriend had been replaced and his family, he still had them, sometimes, but he hid everything from them. he acted as he was OK, but he was not. He still could not get over what had happened, he still had nightmares, he still had pain. His woke up at times, thinking that he was drowning. He thought often about the accident, and how he wished he had not been drinking, or that his friends had not been drinking, maybe the accident could have been avoided all together. 

-

Harry came to as someone dragged him onto the boat again, his leg hurt so much, the pain was worse than anything he had ever felt, he started screaming for help, he did not know what to do, and nether did any of his drunk friends. 

"we need to call for help!" 

"what is the number, I don't know the emergency number here"

"you are going to be OK Harry, everything is going to be OK" 

Harry could not for the life if him figure out who owned witch voice, everything was wired and he could not focus, there was a lot of screaming around him, and everything was a blur, he felt fingernails digging into his palm, but that did help, he had no idea who it was, everything was so foggy, he was just trying to get out off this state, but the pain was there, it hurt so much, he stared screaming again, there was nothing else that he could do, he needed to scream. He was trying to move, but someone kept telling him to stay still, he should not be moving, the pain was so bad, but he had no idea where he was hurt, or what was hurting so bad.

-

Harry stood up and got himself to bed, he could cry there was well as here, he thought about getting himself a sleeping pill from the bathroom, but he could not be bothered, his mom or dad would be there in the morning to help him before work, Harry knew that they were worried about him, so he tried to act as he was OK, but he could tell that his parents saw right through it, They came to help him every single morning, they had asked him to move back into there house, but he refused, he had been there for 3 months after he got out off the hospital he had been in for almost a month, then a rehab centre for another month, it had been hard on him and his body, but it had to be done, if he was going to get back to normal, then it had to be done, after the 5 months of constant care he wanted to be on his own again, he hated being cared for, he hated being asked every single hour if he was OK, or if he needed anything, he could do it himself, it would take longer, but he would get it done. 

-

Harry woke up in the hospital, he had already been in for surgery, but he had no idea what was happening or where he was, he just wanted to get back on to the boat were all his friends were, but as he tried to sit up there was this intense pain that shot right through him and he needed to lay down again. He then looked to his side and saw Tobi and Josh, both asleep each in there own chair, and after looking around for a little while he figured out that he was in the hospital, then he remembered the pain in his leg after he jumped into the sea. He let out a deep moan as he tried again to sit up, but that woke up Josh, who woke up Tobi as they smiled at Harry. 

"hey, hey, hey, lay down yeah, you just had surgery" Tobi told him, but quickly regretted it as Harry's heart rate monitor quickly picked up a faster heartbeat. 

"I will get a nurse" Josh said as he quickly ran out and came back with a nurse who went on to ask Harry a few questions. Then she went on to say that she needed to take a look. Harry just nodded and as she removed the blanket Harry started to scream, his left leg was gone, there was nothing below his knee. 

-

He remembered that sight all to well, it was also a recurring theme in his nightmares, but that was something that had happened, he knew now that it had been a miscommunication between the nurse and the doctor, she thought he already knew that his leg was gone, but of course he had not been told that yet. But he was grateful for both Josh and Tobi who tried there best to calm him down, nothing worked, he just got more and more worked up and the nurses ended up giving him a sedative to fall back asleep. 

The pain was so bad the first few days that Harry could not even make it out of bed, in the impact the femur had been broken, his hip had gone out of socket and the trauma had been to much to the knee that they had to take the lower leg to save his life. Harry needed constant pain medicine as he felt horrid, his friends were trying to make him feel better, but nothing was working, his mom and dad had gotten there and were there for him, but nothing was helping. 

Harry never managed to get rid of the pain, his upper leg hurt all the time, his lower leg hurt as well, but that was just in his head, as his lower leg was not even there anymore, that started to go away as Harry was in the works of getting a prosthetic leg made, he had one, but that was not very comfortable to wear for long periods of time, so he never used it unless he was going outside, where he knew that he needed to walk, and he always brought is crutches with him as well, so he was getting a new one, and he hoped that it would make a difference. But he had been hopeful before just for everything to come crashing down. 

He had been told everything would be alright - is had not been 

He had been told that he would get back to normal - he had not

He had been told that the nightmares would go away -  they had not

countless doctors appointments, countless disappointments. He was at the point where he just did not want to go, he did not want any off this, he wanted everything to go back to the way it was a year ago. 

but he would never be able to go back. Life would go back to normal, but not the old normal, and with those thoughts Harry fell asleep, crying, like he had done for the last couple of months, he was not coping with his loss, he was still grieving,and  it was still hard for him. But he knew that someday it would not hurt this much, someday he would not be this sad about it, but he knew this day would always be hard. 

July the 23rd, every year, for the rest of his life, would always be the day that everything changed. 

.....................

felt like writing something, it did not turn out how I thought it would, but I hope its OK.