Ultraviolence

Chapter Ten

"He hit me and it felt like a kiss...He hurt me but it felt like true love."
~Lana Del Rey, "Ultraviolence"

...

Harry's POV:

The words spilled from her lips faster than water on the edge of a waterfall. I tried to stop her, and tell her it was okay, that she didn't have to tell. But I don't think stopping her would help her. Or me... When she spoke, it was like she couldn't stop. That was one of the things I loved about her. And as she spoke, I realized that her past wasn't something she should be ashamed of, no matter how dark. Why? Because it made me love her more.

Spencer's POV:

"It started almost a year ago," I began, "but if I start from the beginning, I guess I could say, five years. His name was Luke. Luke Roberts. We had been friends since sixth grade. We were inseperable. We started dating freshman year. I fell in love way too fast. We dated until last year, junior year, around December. I was stressing out over mid-terms and studied every chance I got and he got really mad that I wasn't spending time with him and he said that I only cared about myself, and school, and my reputation, and perfect grades but that wasn't true because I really loved him with everything I had and he just got really mean. He threw me in the dirt like an old baseball with the seams coming out. And I loved him through it all. And then he made me insecure and would point out every flaw I had. So I started drinking and speeding and it went out of control and I couldn't contain myself anymore. I couldn't stop. And then he left me over dinner, where he got up and walked out, leaving me all alone in the bathroom because he promised me forever and forever was the masterpiece that he tore into pieces. It was like an original Picaso painting being thrown in the shredder because no one had enough space for it, like he claimed he didn't have enough love to give to me anymore. And it all got worse after he left. The drinking, the speeding. That's when I jumped. I jumped into that dark state of mind and depression and it took a really long time and a rehabilitation center and a move to a new state and a new town and a new school to make me feel somewhat normal again." I said, taking a breath only every few sentences.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, "but you're okay now and you're beautiful and smart and amazing and you may not have him and you may not have Noah but you have me and I have you and you are all I need and I am in love with you, Spencer." He spoke all in one breath, something he usually never did.

And that was the moment I knew. The moment when the weight of the world fell off of my shoulders as I realized that all I had ever wanted and needed was lying right next to me. And then it hit me... if it weren't for Harry, I would be there again. I would've truly fallen for Noah and back in that state of mind. But Harry saved me from it all.

"I love you." I reciprocated his words.

He moved closer, locking his arms around me as we layed, looking up at the stars that looked a lot like his eyes. While I was laying, a memory crept its way into my mind, like a mouse who knew there was a cat waiting.

Flashback...

"Why didn't you answer my call?" Luke screamed as he walked in, slamming the door shut behind him.

I walked from the living room to the kitchen, where he was. Though I was frightened, I approached him.

"You never called.." I answered his question softly.

"Yes, I called four times!" He shouted. His voice seemed louder than before, but maybe it was just because I was closer.

His stubbornness angered me. Without making it, my voice raised, too.

"Luke? Are you listening to me? You never called. Not once. For the past four hours, I have had no idea where you've been or who you were with. You could've been dead and I wouldn't have known until the police showed up at the door." I shouted.