Ultraviolence

Chapter Fourteen

"I can hear the violins, violins..."
~Lana Del Rey, Ultraviolence

It was 9:37 p.m. and I knew I shouldn't be doing this. But I was tired and figured it would be for the best so I wouldn't be boring and fall asleep while I was with Noah. I went into my parents' bathroom and found the drawer that they thought I didn't know about and opened it. They went out of town, to New York City, earlier this afternoon and left my sister, Alison, in charge, which was a terrible idea because she was out with her new friend that was a boy who she claims isn't her boyfriend, even though we all know he is because she just hasn't. stopped. talking. about him. I found the bottle in the very back of the drawer and pulled it out, looking at the sticker to make sure they were the right pills. The label read:

Elizabeth S. Blake
Take one pill a day, as symptoms of being unable to concentrate or stay awake occur.
Do not take with alcohol, for risk of:
Heart Attack, Stroke, Liver Failure, Kidney Failure, Sudden Psychotic Behavior, Sudden Memory Loss, and if overdosed with alcohol, death.

And I knew this was definitely unsafe, but I took three, more than two, less than four. I thought of the risks but then remembered the last time I took this many, nothing dramatic happened, if you don't count the fact that I didn't sleep for 63 hours.

I went to the kitchen to get some water so I could take the pills. I checked the clock on my way, too, 9:58 p.m. With my glass of water, I quickly swallowed the pills one by one, leaving them on the table in case I would need more later.

10:03 p.m., a knock on the front door. I knew it was Noah, so I grabbed my coat and walked out with him, nervous of the night to come.

...

We arrived at the bridge about half an hour later, the stars in the sky shining like Harry's eyes. I told myself that I would try to get through the night by thinking of him, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But so far, it was miserable.

"I have a surprise.." Noah grinned.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'll be right back." He said, leaving me alone in the dark night.

(By then, I had already forgotten about the pills, so what will occur happened accidentally...)

Noah came back a few minutes later with a bottle of red wine. It was the expensive kind, I could tell because it was the same kind that my parents would often drink. But all of a sudden, my phone buzzed, indicating that I had a text message awaiting. I pulled it out quickly, trying not to be rude. It was from Harry.

"Hey. I know you're probably with him right now, but I was wondering if I could maybe come over after the 'date' is over and talk about how it went? Good luck, be safe, I love you. -H." It said.

"Of course, I'll call you when I'm home." I replied.

"Sorry," I lied to Noah, "my mother was just making sure we made it here okay."

"It's fine," He said, "here, have a drink." He gave me a glass of wine and I took one single sip. And it was so good. I felt a million things at once. I felt the sharp air, more than I had before. I felt the cool liquid draining into me, like a river to a lake. I felt the crisp taste of the alcohol, sweetly burning my throat as it ran down like an avalanche. I felt his hand wrap around my waist. I felt my imagination spinning, as in my mind, I pictured Harry, the one I wish I could be with. And for once in the longest time, I felt at ease with myself. I felt so at ease, in fact, that I drank and kept drinking until my mind was full and the bottle was empty.

...

From what I remember, Noah didn't speak of much. It was mainly just small-talk while the second bottle of wine ran out, our minds too high on life to discuss something deeper than the weather and the creepy AP History teacher. Noah dropped me off at home around midnight. As soon as I walked through the door, I went straight to my bedroom to change into something more comfortable. After that, I immediately called Harry.