We Can't Be Just Best Friends (Completed)

24

                ( A/n : is it the end yet ? )

12 days had gone by in complete depression and sadness and i was upset beyond i could tell , a complete trash and feeling of disappointment never leaving me and reminding that i am alone , my life mocking at me over and over again at me that i am alone and i will end up alone . I realized how dependent i was on my best friends that when i let them down i don't even know how to pick up myself . i am weak at my legs , my heart has already been shattered and my brain has stopped working , my body functions have failed . i don't know even though my heart is completely shattered how can it hurt . I haven't slept in these 12 days properly and i need it but i can't . 

I finally close my eyes to sleep . 

" what happened honey ?" my mom said , what is she doing here 

" honey , did you disappoint people again ?" dad said , what is happening . 

" i can't believe you'd do that luna , you are nothing but a disappointment , i am afraid i was friends with you " lidia spoke disgust clear in her voice . 

" thank god i am dead , i wouldn't have been able to hold your disappointment " my brother said , what the hell is happening , he died years ago . 

" luna you cheated on me " a tear strained brad came in front of me , my heart hurt to see him like that and i am already crying . he held a blade in his hand 

" no brad no please no " i beg crying but my voice doesn't come out 

" you did this luna " he said and neared the blade to his wrists and i can't move , i can't do anything to stop it , its all me . 

i instantly opened my eyes realizing it was a nightmare , just a nightmare . i sit up straight thankfully not waking anyone else up . the nightmare has left me shook . i bring my knees close to my chest and tears itself comes out and before i even know i am whimpering hard , sobbing and crying . my whole body shaking hardly . i make no noise but my heart hurt so much that i feel as if it might fall out anytime . i didn't sleep the rest of the night fearing it'd happen again . 

In the morning melissa asked me about looking like a mess with dark circles but i didn't say anything , i just said i am not going to college tomorrow with a hoarse voice and she understood and didn't say anything else . The following night it happened again but melissa came and relaxed me , she kept on asking what has happened to me , with tearstained face and broken heart i told her everything , at least she said everything will be alright , that night she slept next to me but i couldn't sleep . 

The next day i went to college and my heart hurt to see brad being a mess himself but he still looked in a better condition than mine but me i was looking like a complete mess . Everything went in drain then , i couldn't hold disappointing people so much , hurting everyone so much , disappointing everyone so much .  I couldn't wait for the college to get over and as soon as it did i ran off to the pharmacy , the pharmacist didn't question me much and gave what i wanted , phalantorix grenosa . i took the medicines and ran to the apartment , hopefully i knew melissa won't be home for long and that was a perfect oppurtunity . i took the pills and and the crushed it , tears coming all along , mixing it with meth that i knew was kept somewhere in the house . As soon as it was done , i looked at myself in the mirror for the last time hopefully , end of disappointment , end of hurting , end of pain , everything and i sniffed it and soon i was unconscious and the last thing i remembered was looking at the ceiling before my eyes shut , forever i wanted . 

I opened my eyes to a white light , am in heaven ? i don't deserve to be here .  I blink my eyes over and over and  soon conclusions became clear as soon as i turned my head and looked around and figured it was a hospital . tears coming out realising i didn't die . the oxygen mask attached to my nose , cords attached to both of my wrists and my ankle . soon a figure appeared i blinked my tears away and saw melissa coming in , she shouted something and the doctors came in . The next time i opened my eyes , i saw a curl head sat next to me holding my hand . i must've made a sound because he instantly looked up . 

" babe " he said , this isn't what i am thinking . he came near to me , my tears automatically coming again for the thousandth time but it felt as if they never stopped . 

" babe , how are you ? you need something ?" how is he sweet to me , tears coming out more to see brad still being sweet to me after what i've done to him , squeals leave my mouth and he got worried but i held hid hand assuring i am fine. he bought his hands to my cheeks , wiped off my tears and i wished i could do the same . 

" i am sorry " i said but i am sure  he couldn't listen to me because of the oxygen mask , i tried to bring my hand to my mask but i couldn't so he did , he removed it a little and bought his face closer to my mouth 

" i am so sorry brad " i said tears adjoining them . he smiled at me , kissing my cheeks softly . soon i saw lidia and melissa coming in , more like lidia stormed in . brad immediately went to her holding her . 

" the fuck why would you do that fucking dumb idiot , asshole " she yelled slightly . i have no idea why is she yelling so much but i smiled to see the people who mattered to me still besides me but i don't deserve them and i cry again . 

" don't please don't , i am not leaving you babe ever again , its okay i forgive you " brad said and i shook my head violently 

" yes i do please stop " he said as he leaned towards me , his forehead resting on mine , wiping off my tears again . 

" i love you , please but don't ever leave me again " he said and i just closed my eyes and cried out again because I don't deserve him but I love  him. 

After 3 days being in hospital i kinda figured that i was extremely stupid to take my life and that it was highly dangerous since meth and that medicine instantly spread my blood and for that i needed a donor , hopefully shawn donated his blood and i also figured that the first time i actually woke up was after 2 days and everyone was keeping up their spirit that they'll not loose me because I was almost at the verge and  that made lidia super mad at me for doing it , brad  also almost yelled at me but he said he loved me enough . i also figured that i was only alive because melissa entered as soon as i laid unconscious . They all told me that i had almost lost myself but i fought and lived and it was like a miracle . 

Brad forgave me for my sins because he says no matter what happened he loves me enough and that as i regret it he would forgive me but he clearly stated that i am not going to be friends with peter but i made it clear that i needed break from the relationship thing because it was too much for him and for me too and he got mad and upset at that but he understood it . after a week of being in hospital i was finally discharged and bought back home , grandpa was angry as fuck , yelling at me why i didn't think of him before doing irrational thing but everything went back to normal . 

My nightmares ended a couple a days of later because brad was sleeping with me actually i moved in our shared flat for a while and even though we agreed on just being best friends he just said one thing 

" we can't be just best friends and you know it luna stone " with the signature smirk on his face . 

Shit what did I get my self into.

~

WAIT.  NO. THIS.  ISN'T . THE . END . YET. 

But is. 

Although last chapter comes out tomorrow , that is an epilogue since this beautiful story deserves one epilogue and forever end to the book. 

I am so so so grateful for all the support to make this book reach 1.5k already and  prequel at 12.3k.  It was impossible without you all.

All the love - R.r.