To All The Things Never Said

2

~ Returned To Sender~

Mi Amor,

I won't take it personal that my previous letter has been returned, these letters are mostly for my comfort and so even if received I wouldn't know how you would respond. I'd like to talk about our first date. Well it wasn't ours, but in a way it was. The first double date. That morning I was in a flurry to find the right outfit, however it seemed the world was against me. My hair would not cooperate and none of my clothes seemed to fit my mood. After throwing together a ridiculous assemble I looked at the time and flew down the stairs. Having to beg my father to take me I surprisingly ended up on time, but my anxiety of being the first one there was through the roof. I texted my boyfriend multiple times as he was failing to respond. After about the eighth text I mustered enough courage to walk in to see if you and your girlfriend may have arrived. I begged my father not to leave until I knew there was someone there. I walked in nervously playing with my phone acting as if I had someone to text. Then you stood up and I was very much relieved. My relief was short lived as I had come to the realization it was just you and for a moment I couldn't breathe. You were friendly though and suggested we grabbed a table while we waited. The fifteen minute date between us, where I had come to find out a little about you. I didn't know what to do with myself the entire time. My thoughts were betraying my boyfriend but no harm done if he didn't know, right? Then I spilled my water. Embarrassment filled me, it was more triggered by myself hoping that you couldn't tell I was nervous then by the watery mess in front of us. At some point I caught myself wondering if you thought I was attractive and was irritated by the fact that I wanted you to notice. We made small conversation while we waited. Finally our dates showed, I stood up and let mine slide into the corner as I hated to be on the inside but more because you did the same with yours and I wanted to be a crossed from you. All three of you were close though and I felt left out in many of the conversations but above all I was the youngest so kept quiet. After we all ate we walked and window shopped. At this point I was less worried about you and more about the fact that our dates cared more about each other then us. They were best friends yes, but neglected us ever the same. Me, being quite an actor "tripped" near you knowing full well I'd be caught. To my delight I was. It was a small thing that finally caught my dates attention and the jealousy that radiated from him made me smile just a bit as I turned to thank you. The problem however was not a small thing, as when I looked at you to thank you and we pulled apart I hadn't wanted you to let go. My date was furious as he was always very over protective and for the rest of the date did not want me close to you. So, of course I kept making jokes about our fifteen minutes together, and, was pleasantly surprised when you did the same. Of course you know how the rest played out and then for months I didn't see you thinking maybe you were just a little crush because I wasn't happy in my current relationship, and that is what I continued to think for the remainder of the school year.

~ Your Fire