okay so i honestly just wanna be friends with all of my followers but i get really anxious in social situations??? even on the internet so that fucking sucks
like,,, oh this person seems cool and we're following each other and we have mutual friends so i should just be able to talk to them right??? WRONG
like i'm so scared of getting judged that i never talk to new people unless they talk to me first and i just,,, UGH. it's literally so pathetic
i can't even comment on stories that don't have a fuckton of reads or that aren't by my friends because i just get so??? scared???
and replying to comments makes me anxious sometimes too,, like earlier this week someone replied to someone they knew's comment on here that they must've seen in their newsfeed or something, and then i responded to that comment and neither of them replied and i started feeling sick and i was like "oh my god i shouldn't have said anything i'm being intrusive and weird", and like... is it normal to feel like that on YOUR OWN BOOK??
also a few months ago someone asked to join oofington cult and everyone was totally fine with it but then i stepped in and i was like "uh sorry but idk you". JUST BECAUSE last time someone added a new member to the cult without me knowing i didn't like them AT ALL and i didn't want that to happen again,, and it's been a while but i still feel like such a bitch because they're really close to my one friend and i'm 99% sure they're a nice person,,, so if there's any chance you find this i'm really sorry-
also!! i feel like my friends are leaving me out of things!!!!!!! like they'll go and do fun stuff with their other friends and i'll know about it and i won't be invited and it makes me feel bad even though i know it shouldn't because if i'm not invited it means i'm not fucking invited and i have no right to complain or be upset but i can't help but feel like they don't like me as much as their other friends!!!! and it sucks!!!
i'm sorry
