Be Ours

Chapter 33 ~ Sky

Joe's funeral was the next Friday, a week after the night that led in to his death, in the early hours of Saturday. Dylan and his Mum had asked me to travel in the funeral car with them. I spent about ten minutes in the house with them before we left. Nothing was said in that ten minutes, only as they greeted me at the door. I hadn't seen Karen cry at all, I expected it was out of sheer shock. It seemed that Joe's death had rocked our little seaside town out of balance. The Local Hooligan, as he was known around town or the Bad Boy In The Rock Band to the teenage girls. The Legend, as known by the teenage boys. Now he was nothing but a body, damaged and in a casket. I wondered about what I meant to Joe. I thought I loved him once, but to him was I just an easy target? Was he just too lazy to bother finding anyone else? I shook these thoughts from my head, because I would never find out. I probably wouldn't have found out if he was alive. Joe was a mystery, hidden away by reputations and rumours.

Just before we left, a BMW pulled up outside. A man wearing a sleek black suit got out, adjusting his cuff links. He proceeded to knock on the door. Karen rushed out of the kitchen to answer it. I heard muffled voices from the hallway and peeped around the door. Karen and the man were wrapped in an embrace. It was then I realised that this man was Dylan's father. As Karen began to lead him into the living room, I swung back, plonked down on the couch, and smoothed my navy dress. I didn't stay sitting for long though, because Dylan who was beside me, rose to greet his Dad and I thought it would be a respectful to follow suit. After all, the man had just lost his son. Dylan shook hands with him, smiled awkwardly and laughed a little as his Dad remarked on how tall he was getting. Dylan then introduced me as Sky, his girlfriend. This title made me glow with pride. I shot Mr. Smith a smile and shook his hand.

"I thought you were Sky was Joe's girlfriend?" He questioned. Dylan's eyes widened. Mr.Smith picked up on this.

"Oh, I guess not. Never mind." He corrected himself.

The drive to the church was long, not because of traffic or distance, but simply because we sat in an awkward silence, staring at Joe's coffin in the car before us. It wasn't like we could feel Joe's presence, the coffin was just a wooden box, adorned with flowers. But the fact that he lay there was simply unbelievable. When we eventually pulled up at the church, the place was packed to the brim. It seemed that the whole town had come to pay their respects. Dylan had been holding my hand the whole way, but dropped it once we were out of the car. I understood. The little brother and the ex girlfriend holding hands at the boy's funeral was really appropriate, although I assume by now most people knew. Rumours fly around in Sandfield. We had to wait for a while in the bitter wind that lingered in the air, due to the ridiculous amount of people. It was going to be a tight squeeze. I would sit at the front with Dylan and his parents. I felt honoured when Karen invited me to sit with the family, because I hadn't really had any of my own. Obviously, my mother died when I was younger and my father was pretty absent, but my older sister Rosie didn't stick around long either. She left to go to college when she was sixteen, and went to live with my Aunt Sarah. Now she's studying in Oxford. No pressure on me. I'm 99% sure I was an accident, never meant to happen, never meant to be loved. So I guess I just wasn't. Until now, when I have Karen, one of the kindest women I know and Dylan, the most amazing boyfriend. I was so grateful. As we sat, I was aware of the gazes from people behind. I ignored them. It all seemed irrelevant in the whole mess that had unfolded in the past few weeks.

The cover mumbled on about how we would never no why The Lord had snatched a young boy away from amongst us. Then he went on talking about the people around Joe. The sermon didn't last very long. I mean, what could you say about the reckless, foolish trouble maker who ended his life drunk driving. Trust me, there aren't many positives. After the service, we had to drive again to get to the crematorium. A short prayer was said, and soon enough the whole thing was over. Joe was well and truly gone, and now we were off to the local football club for refreshments. I had to keep reminding myself of what was happening, it was all so surreal.

*****

When the day was finally over, once again I spent the evening on the beach with Dylan. But this evening, we sat apart like we used to. His arm wasn't wrapped around my shoulders, and my head wasn't rested against his chest. We shared a quick kiss but that was it. We barely even spoke. But then, out of nowhere, Dylan blurted.

"I feel so guilty, Sky. It wasn't my fault but I feel like I've had an influence, y'know?"

"It's normal to feel like that Dylan. It's just a huge big complicated twist of events. We can't help it." I consoled. I offered my arms out to him, but he was staring at the sea. Slightly embarrassed, I lowered them and folded them over my chest.

"But, oh God, how do I say this?" He muttered. My stomach seemed to know what was coming before I did. It twisted in knots.

"Just say it, Dylan. Let everything out." I told him.

"I just feel really bad, I mean you and him used to date. He's dead and I'm dating his girlfriend."

"Dylan, we broke up before this all happened. We were bound to split anyway, that relationship wasn't anything real." I stated.

"It was real enough for him to tell me to back off and stop being friends with you." He said. Maybe I did mean something to Joe after all. But, more likely, he was just being possessive and trying to be the alpha male or whatever.

"Okay. So what are you saying?" I asked him.

"I don't know, maybe we should just take it slow, for a little while, till I get some closure."

"So basically you want to take a break? Dylan, that's crazy. It was only his funeral today!" I felt my cheeks beginning to pink.

"Sky, please, I've just lost my brother and-"

"Your brother treated you like total shit, Dylan! Like you were worthless! And you deserved so much more! Your lip is split because of him!" I cut him off.

"I know but-" He began again.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Ring me when you've got all this "shit" sorted out, Dylan. Jesus, what an asshole!" I grabbed my jacket and stormed away, ignoring his pathetic little calls.