Be Ours

Chapter 32 ~ Dylan

I called Mum and told her it was urgent and she had to come home as soon as possible. I didn't want to imagine her tired face crumpling into tears. But it had to be done. I was going to have to be the one to tell her that her eldest son was dead, from drunk driving. I had just explained all the details of Joe's death to Sky, hoping that this would make everything seem more real. Sky played with the strings of my hoodie as she sat, in a bundle, on my lap.

"It wasn't suicide, was it?" I asked her. She gazed up at me in shock.

"You fighting wouldn't cause him to commit suicide, Dylan. It was just im his stupid mistake to get in that car." She said, still sounding sleepy.

"I know that the fight alone wouldn't cause a suicide. But maybe he's been thinking about it for a while. Maybe he felt he wasn't getting any love or attention. Maybe when finally after his brother turned on him, he had enough. Maybe, I just pushed him over the edge." I said. Sky went silent for a while.

"Dylan, it wasn't a suicide. Joe was wasted. He just wanted to escape. Get out of town. Cause a scene." She said, but she sounded unsure. I would just have to keep telling myself that. It wouldn't have been my fault if he had committed suicide, it was his own mind set and feelings after all, but I would still feel guilty knowing it was a possibility that it was me who sealed his fate.

I heard the front door opening. Sky jumped from my lap and stood up straight. Nerves churned around in my stomach. My Mum came into the room, concern forming her face. I got up from the chair and hugged Mum.

"What's going on? Are you guys okay?" She questioned.

"Police men came round this morning after you left for work." I told her.

"What has that bloody brother of yours done now? Jesus Christ! This is the last straw, Dylan. He's going up to London with his Dad. I'm sick of spending all my time chasing after him and worrying myself sick!" She ranted. She began breathing in and out slowly.

"Joe hasn't done anything. Well, he has, but, he..." I couldn't say it. I couldn't say "Mum, Joe has died drunk driving". Lucky enough for me Sky could.

"Ms. Smith-" She began.

"Sky, dear, you've been calling me Karen for as long as I can remember. Just tell me what's wrong." Mum laughed. I wondered if this would be the last time she laughed for days, weeks.

"Yes, Karen. Okay, here goes. Joe and Dylan got in a fight last night. Joe was drunk and was bothering me, not for the first time. Joe borrowed someone's car, probably one of his band members. He swerved off the road while driving out of town." She spoke slowly and clearly, but her hands trembled. I reached out one of my own hands and clutched hers.

"Is he in hospital?" Mum asked, her face blank.

"No. He's..." I tailed off. Mum sighed and sat back on to the sofa. Sky glanced at me, her face expression questioning. There was no breakdown, no crying. Just my mother sitting down and staring in to space. After a few minutes she patted the space beside her. I sat down. She put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug.

"Shall I give you two a moment?" Sky asked.

"No, honey, you can stay. Don't worry. Oh, God. I have to plan a funeral. And call your Dad. And everybody else. Oh, my poor Joe." Mum muttered. She got up and walked upstairs, her face still not even hinting a tear.

"I'm going to go shower and get changed." Sky said. She leant down a kissed my cheek.

"Yeah, I'll probably do the same. And then beach?" I asked. She smiled and instantly I felt better. It was crazy.

"Of course. I love you." She said.